Ok, I have had a HUGE crush on this girl for almost 10 years now... She was good friends with my X-X girlsfirend and we have flirted with each other for years now. The crazy part about this is, she is the sister of my now best friend, and just now single... The thing is... she STILL hangs out with her X, and that makes me think she is still A:hung up on him or B: can't let go of him... either way, I don't want to be caught up in it. The thing is, I REALLY like this girl a lot, and we are actually hanging out for new-years this year too... I know she likes me in one way or another, just from the way she looks at me, and the way we lock eyes at times. I don't think my friend would have too much of a problem with us going out, but I think her X (a guy I have become somewhat friends with would). I don't really care what her X thinks of me, but I'm not sure she can fully let go right now, and I'll be damned if I will ever be #2 to anyone ever again. Her and her X are beyond terrible together, but she doesn't seem to want to let go for whatever reason. I want to just come clean to her and tell her how I feel, but I don't want to ruin our friendship (she is a good friend of mone too). I am thinking about waiting to see how newyears goes, and make my move from there. Thoughts? p.s. her X will not be there with us on new years...

Enjoy her company and have fun Jeff. No reason to get to ahead of yourself, as you know slow is good.

Just take your time and go real slow. You've already waited 10 years so you can certainly bide your time.

Whatever happens happens! If you feel the need to tell her, tell her! You don't want to regret anything later. This may be the make it or break it moment though. You say you've been hung up on her for 10 years? Maybe you want to tell her, and see what happens. Maybe something will happen between the two of you. Otherwise, if she doesn't seem interested, you can start new, and look elsewhere. If you have a close friendship, then this will not ruin anything between the two of you.

I'd make a move if you let go of the doubt. But the thing you have to realize is you already have some doubts. If you can let go of your doubts, make the move. Otherwise, it'll be over before it even begins.

DOUBTS = TROUBLE.

--Cali

I agree with most of you here, but some things are getting confusing here for me. She hangs out with her EX a lot, but I'm not sure where they stand exactly. This is the kind of girl where I don't have the intentions of just "hooking up with"... I really like her. The crazy thing is, a past fling has come into play now, a girl that was the rebound for me 2 years ago for my EX... This is a girl that I am re4ally physically attracted to, but no further than that. Some of you can relate to this because it's that one person that will always seem to pop up at the wosrt times and distract you from everything. I am the kind of guy that HATES a "sure thing" I like to work for a girls affection, and finding out that about 1/3 of my friends have STDs (or have been with a girl with an STD) freaks me out. I really feel like not having sex with another girl until I get married, just because I am freaked out of getting an STD. I am the kind of gut that doesn't let h9imself get attached to a girl now, and the crazy thing is... I find myself knee deep in women now. The girl I have a crush on is perfect for me... I think both of us know that we would have a great time too. The thing is... I am 26 now, and I want something I can rely on... not something I am pushing for. I have never looked for a girlfriend before, but now my mother is pushing for grandkids and I am at a point in my career where I can start a family. I am ready to get back into love, but I can't seem to find the "woman of my dreams". Ideas?

Jeff
As much as I know you think you like this girl think of it this way , she still sees her Ex a lot , she hasn't let go of her Ex either etc etc. Anyone who still does that still has some sort of investment in the past relationship.
Sure , stay friends with her BUT don't be the vehicle for her to ride while she may be playing a game with her Ex. I have seen it before. They want their Ex to see they have someone else , and then they play with a friend or someone familiar to make them come to attention.

Look , maybe not the case , but definitely worth a thought!

Jeff, I was in a similar situation. A girl I liked, who I may even still like too much now, was talking with her ex. He was not good for her, and she kind of felt that when she wasn't with him. Despite that, she loved always being around him. Now, I think she likes just being with someone, but I can't say that for a fact. However, she loved him because she said he fit the image that she had for her future man since she was a little girl. So, I was trying to hope that she wouldn't choose her ideal when she went home.

Naturally, she went after her ideal. She got him, and within the next few days I spend some more time with her. What do I get? A collapsed lung. She called the ambulence for me, and it got me even more confused. We both had feelings for one another, but it just didn't happen.

I wish the best of luck to you.

You already know what I think. Have fun dating and enjoying yourself, but be happy single. Some one will want to share that happiness with you. Keep your life BALANCED, and stay away from everyone's drama. Be patient and don't just rush into something, without a lot of thought. Love yourself first.

The best part about this situation is that your crush is single!
So make full use of that. Imagine if she is not single and you are head over heels for her. All these years for 10 full years u cannot approach her...

But now that u can, and she is sending mixed signals, it means that she is somewhat confused herself. A gal who just broke up might not be able to completely practise No Contact with her ex. And what's worse... her ex might know that she has a soft spot for him and thus uses her attention to his own advantage.

What u can do know is... go slow... and also, talk to her about her feelings for her ex. When u are together and has already started a conversation, u can slip in a few words asking her how is her ex and what is he doing now. If she tells u, then u can ask her how did she know. Did she contact her ex often? It can go something like this:

You: So... how is X?
Her: He is fine now. He is doing *** at *** with ***. He spends most of his time doing ***.
You: Oh... how did u know that? U talk to him often?
Her: Yeah, we sometimes chat over the phone and we IM.
You: Seems like you are in very good terms with him. I thought u all had it enough when u broke off. So u mean all is well now?
Her: We are still friends and we enjoy being just friends.


This is just a made-up conversation. She can answer u anything. And no matter what... at least u got your confusion solved. U know what she thinks about her ex and u know what she wants to do next with her ex. Is she pining for him or is she unready to look forward into another relationship? If she gives u contrasting answers, u can always help her understand her own conflict by probing her to answer the questions herself. Such as:

# So he is meeting another girl now? Don't u mind?
# How come u are not officially together but u two hang out so often？
# Do think he has any chance of getting you back? (if yes, why?)
# What are his good points? Did he treat u well last time? (if no, then why stick so close to him)

This conversation must not be too lengthy or else she will sense that u are probing her for answers so that u can know what to do next. U can talk to her like a friend who is really concern. Just don't leap into something u are not certain with yet.

"I am ready to get back into love, but I can't seem to find the 'woman of my dreams'. Ideas?" I'll tell you what I've told my sons: always have five of them you are interested in. Good luck.

Hey jump in there go get her be for its two late good loook terraluu