Real short, I have my son this weekend and the ex just got back from Florida where her new fiancé is. They took my son to disney land, but in his weekend bag with his clothes she purposly put in a seaworld orlando Florida T shirt in his bag. It was not needed but she did it just to get to me. She needs to grow up. Sorry just had to vent

So, what? She put a t-shirt in his bag from Sea World... so what?

**EDIT** You knew they went to Disney, so it's safe to assume they went to Sea World also.

Well if you newthe whole story, plus the custody case. First it is the middle of winter and it is the only shirt that is a short sleeve. She did put it in there just to get under my skin because I have made it a issue in our custody that she is taking my child out of the country and she put it in there just to make me jealous and to get to me.. Im sorry if you don't see this Mr.Health expert. I was just simply stating she is just trying to push my buttons so I came on here to vent. Your right so what, and that's what I said, good for her she is trying. She did it on purpose.

First of all, I am a woman, not a man. Second of all, my major is in mental and emotional health, so I do qualify here, and also anyone can answer any post on this site. And, no, I don't know the background, that's why it's best to keep the posts together rather than breaking them up into different threads. Just causes confusion, as you see here.

Now, your letting this get under your skin. You see, she is getting the response she desires from you.

I know it bothers you, but if you don't let her know it bothers you, she will eventually stop.

It's like a child, if you will, that wants attention... they will do anything to get it. Children don't care whether the attention is bad, or good, just as long as they get attention.

You see, she is doing much the same to you. Making you angry, and it's working. She's getting under your skin, and she knows it. Now, if you want her to stop, you have to ignore what she is doing here. Ignore the fact that there is a short sleeve t-shirt in the bag. Don't use it if you don't have to. But most of all, don't say anything to her about it when it's time to take your son back.

Be the bigger person here. Show her that what she does doesn't bother you, even though it may. If you stop feeding into her negativity this will eventually stop.

To a kid going to sea world is a big deal. Did you ever think maybe the boy wanted to bring the shirt with him? Why can't you just be happy that he got to experience something that ever kid dreams of? Even if she did put the shirt in his bag to get to you it only worked 'cause you let it.

First.. my son is 2 and 5 months.. He doesn't know anything about the shirt. And I don't let her know it bothers me I let you guys know. If you all were up to speed you would see what I'm saying. When Taliman responds he will see where I'm coming from. And J9 no disrespect intended I was just saying. And yes anyone can post and I encourage it.

A two tear old child does know and have favorite shirts. So maybe it's there because he wanted. If she put it there just to get next to you, shame on her, but if it gets the reaction she wants, shame on you. Don't let stuff like that bother you. You are the only one suffering.

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Originally Posted by crushedovernover

I have made it a issue in our custody that she is taking my child out of the country

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Do you live in Canada? If not and if you are in the U.S. she didn't take the child out of the country. And um it's her child too, don't forget.

I hope, crushed, when you are dumping your crap, that none of it falls on your son. You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and see if you want to be that guy.

Are you sure she really did it just to get to you? Are you sure you aren't imputing something to her that just isn't there?

For the whole story, and its quite long,
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2195307

She is always trying to push buttons, that's what she does, but having your son for the holiday is the main concern, that in itself is a victory, so don't let it be spoiled, by attitude. Matter of fact, buying him clothes should be great, but send him home in a summer wardrobe... and keep the T-shirt. Don't forget the toys, he should be old enough to appreciate it, and pick his favorites. Have fun DAD. And don't rile the natives.

Thanks much Tali. Yes she put it in the strictly to get to me. And for people saying its her son too. . I agree and yes she can take him where she wants. But in a nut shell. We broke up in July and immediately replaced me with a 40 year old man who lives "guess where" orlando.. So yes she is just trying to get to me. My son could care less about a favorite shirt. A toy mabe not a shirt. And your right I should not let this phase me because even though she doesn't see me reacting she knows I am. So your right. Thanks for the imput :)

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Originally Posted by talaniman

but send him home in a summer wardrobe .......and keep the T-shirt.

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Ah, but this is playing the same immature game she is playing. In essence it is fueling the fire.

Why not just pretend nothing happened. Be the better person rather than continuing to instigate as she is.

Ignore the behavior, it goes away... Fuel the fire it grows into the biggest bonfire you have ever seen.

Why get down on her level? By sending him home in a summer wardrobe and keeping the shirt, he is playing the same game she is.

I was actually going to put it on him first then layer him. So she will see I put it on him with the appropriate clothing on top but she will see it didn't bother me cause I put it on him.

Simply put, just leave it in the bag. Don't do anything with it. If she asks, tell her that he had enough clothes and that it was a little too cold for him to wear it.

Man... stop playing her games. Stop letting her freak you out. I know it's hard, I've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt (sorry no pun intended)... But you are feeding her... You are feeding her angst.

Don't get on her level, don't play her game. You are giving her EXACTLY what she wants. She's pissing you off and she knows it. Why let her know how pissed you are? She'll just continue.

You maybe right, J. But they are in the middle of a custody battle, and he needs to take care of his son. I would advise the same to any man in that position. This is his first time being with him so make it good.

Yes, I read the threads you posted T-man (actually I glanced at them)... The point is he is fueling the fire... who is going to look better to a judge? The woman who taunts or the man who ignores the childish behavior?

You want to look good, like the great provider... not the taunter that she is. You don't want to get on her level, especially to a judge when she can manipulate everything you say and do. If you do nothing, there is nothing that she can retaliate with. Just be a good father, don't try to play the blame game.

Be more mature than she is... anyone can see who that is... It will be YOU if you don't join in her games.

Hey crushed, J has some good points, and sometimes fresh eyes are sharper. At some point you both must get over the resentments you have, and put your son first, and just be nice for his sake. In other threads you have admitted you where far from perfect, so we know that this has two sides. You have no control over her, but you can control your own actions. Resentments can kill good judgements, and its better to get beyond them. We know she is a nutcase, just don't let her make you one. Not saying to let her get away with anything she pleases, but sometimes doing nothing says volumes.

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Originally Posted by crushedovernover

I was actually going to put it on him first then layer him. So she will see I put it on him with the appropriate clothing on top but she will see it didnt bother me cause i put it on him.

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Actually this SCREAMS that it bothered you. You see, this is playing her game... You put the shirt on and layered it so that you could get back at her for sending a short sleeved shirt.

Just keep the shirt in the bag and ignore that she sent it.

I have spent the morning reading your other posts and it seems like the two of you are really playing games with each other and now you son is being pulled into it. It's such a shame when parents use their kids to get back at one another.