Ask Me Help Desk - My boyfriend is too horny

I really love the guy, so been trying to put it to the back of my mind, but obviously I can't as he talks about sex all the time nearly. Sometimes it doesn't bother me, but its just annoying the way he can always change the conversation round if he wants to. I love him for him, and he does always compliment me etc, but I can't help but feel he's with me for sex.

e.g the other night we went out for a meal and a few drinks, he said it was on him, then he said the bill was sharp, I bought most the drinks out as I felt bad after the bill, and all night he kept saying I can't wait until Saturday when I have you behind closed doors etc.

I just worry that he has sex on the mind all the time, and when I finally give in to him that he will never want to do anything else. I really do want things to work between us so I'm trying so hard to stick with him, but I just fear the worst that he's with me for sex or something.

I asked him how many times a week he would ideally like sex, his first number was 2, then he kept saying or 3 or 4. I just don't want a sex relationship where that is all we do, as I enjoy cuddling and kissing, but if we do that he gets a hard on and takes it further!

Is it normal for a 21 year old to be so horny like everyday, and talk about sex a lot?

Yes, some people are more into it than others. It's normal to have sex several times a day, or just once a month. What's important is that the two of you are compatible. He could curb the talk. You could ask him to anyway. If the two of you practice, sex could take 2-5 minutes a day with both of you being satisfied. Or maybe you'd like someone more laid back. Is there some reason why you don't like sex with him?

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Originally Posted by chocoholicbabae10

i really love the guy, so been trying to put it to the back of my mind, but obviously i can't as he talks about sex all the time nearly. sometimes it doesnt bother me, but its just annoying the way he can always change the conversation round if he wants to. i love him for him, and he does always compliment me etc, but i can't help but feel hes with me for sex.

e.g the other night we went out for a meal and a few drinks, he said it was on him, then he said the bill was sharp, i bought most the drinks out as i felt bad after the bill, and all night he kept saying i can't wait until saturday when i have you behind closed doors etc.

i just worry that he has sex on the mind all the time, and when i finally give in to him that he will never want to do anything else. i really do want things to work between us so im trying so hard to stick with him, but i just fear the worst that hes with me for sex or something.

i asked him how many times a week he would ideally like sex, his first number was 2, then he kept saying or 3 or 4. i just dont want a sex relationship where that is all we do, as i enjoy cuddling and kissing, but if we do that he gets a hard on and takes it further!

is it normal for a 21 year old to be so horny like everyday, and talk about sex a lot?

Ummm... yes it is.

Sex obviously means a lot to your boyfriend. I really don't think he's using you for sex. Does he do other things for you? Take you places? Buy you dinner? etc...

The last thing you want to do is make sex an issue. There is nothing wrong with having sex 3-4 times per week, hell if it was up to me I would have sex with my g/f twice, sometimes three times per day. Some people just love having sex, and when he starts talking like that, it just means he is looking forward to it. Be happy he wants to be with you and only you.

Talk with him about this and let him know how you feel. If you can tell an entire message board, you can tell him right?

Yeah... you should start worrying when he stops talking about sex with you... that's when you know he's getting it from somewhere else...

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocoholicbabae10

i really love the guy, so been trying to put it to the back of my mind, but obviously i can't as he talks about sex all the time nearly. sometimes it doesnt bother me, but its just annoying the way he can always change the conversation round if he wants to. i love him for him, and he does always compliment me etc, but i can't help but feel hes with me for sex.

e.g the other night we went out for a meal and a few drinks, he said it was on him, then he said the bill was sharp, i bought most the drinks out as i felt bad after the bill, and all night he kept saying i can't wait until saturday when i have you behind closed doors etc.

i just worry that he has sex on the mind all the time, and when i finally give in to him that he will never want to do anything else. i really do want things to work between us so im trying so hard to stick with him, but i just fear the worst that hes with me for sex or something.

i asked him how many times a week he would ideally like sex, his first number was 2, then he kept saying or 3 or 4. i just dont want a sex relationship where that is all we do, as i enjoy cuddling and kissing, but if we do that he gets a hard on and takes it further!

is it normal for a 21 year old to be so horny like everyday, and talk about sex a lot?

I'm 46 and I like sex every day... and I've been married for 17 years.

Once a day is fine... but at least 6-7 times a week.

And men will talk it till the day they die, years after all it is will be talk.
They talk it actually more than they really want it.

Yes, its normal.

And honestly, wanting sex 3-4 times a week isn't overkill... unless you think it is.

Sexual compatibility is important. Feeling pressured is normal and realistic... if you don't need that pressure, then you know where you stand.

But don't think for one minute that he's "wrong" for being in a different place. Look at the threads here... you'll see woman after woman desperate for their man to want them, to have some sexual satisfaction and attention.

I'm a 36 year old guy, married for almost 8 years. Sex 3-4 times a week would be perfect, even though that doesn't always fit into our mad schedule. And I can tell you that my wife is in the same place... sex 3 times a week ideally.

I wonder if you are just not ready to take it that far.

Sex, when its right for both people, is not a burden, and is a way to connect... even with all the "sex is bad" noise... it's a middle ground for men and women to connect... and it fixes a natural biological "jones"...

So don't feel bad if you just aren't ready. That's fine.

But don't punish him cause he's a healthy man with a pretty normal sex drive.

If you don't want to go there you should tell him. If he gets upset, then you two are in a case of bad timing.

Yes, at over 50 sex 3 or 4 times a week is not out of the question, it is a lot of what is normal for you.

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is it normal for a 21 year old to be so horny like everyday,

Yes its very normal.

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And talk about sex a lot?

That's normal too, but if it bothers you simply say so. Its up to you to define and express your boundaries.

I agree with the previous replies, his sexual appitite sounds perfectly healthy. But he clearly is unaware of it's affect on you.

You're going to have to confront him and tell him how it makes you feel. I am sure if he loves you like you love him he would hate to think it makes you in any way uncomfortable.

Yes, it's normal. He's a man.