Okay so, I hope that someone on here can help me... I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years in late September, I still loved him, but I was so busy with trying to pass all my classes so I can graduate and I had a lot of extra curricular activities I was busy with. Now 3 months later, I cut down on some of my activities and I feel that I have adequate time for him. I am very shy and I do not know if he has moved on... I think that he believes that I have though... I really don't know what to do about this. Its just killing me inside. He treated me so well, and I really miss him... please help me!:confused:

Speak to him face to face or ring him and tell him. Explain how wrong you were, how you made a mistake etc and don't expect anything in return.

Tell him how you feel, but as jiser said, don't expect the fairy tale get back together story... if you "love" him, the fact that you are busy isn't a very weak excuse to break up with someone if that's the only reason. When you approach, don't try to justify why you broke up with him, and for god sakes don't say you have "time" for him now, because then as soon as you get busy again, he will get scared.

Just tell him straight up you made a mistake and want him back... dont beat around the bush... telling him bluntly how you feel, with no icing on the cake. That is how guys communicate with each other, so he will understand it that way the easiest. If he asks you what happened the first time, tell him you didn't realize how much you needed him until you didn't have him anymore, and it took me 3 months of not being with you for me to realize that I want to be with you, if that makes any sense

Good luck!!

You broke up with him and you love him. Better call him soon.

If you are putting energy toward something, it's usually a good idea to understand why.

Maybe I'm strange, but to me it sounds as if you placed him on the shelf because you were busy with other things - like a toy.

Don't you give him enough credit to understand that you had other priorities and would have been man enough to catch on, or did you think he might have gotten jealous and stressful in the time you didn't need it.
What, if you got back together, will you do the next time you have other priorities?

You said you were together for 2 years... how together? Did you talk to each other and get to know how each of you would react in certain situations, or was it just on a physical intimacy?

Hope this works out the way you want, but if not, try and be a little less selfish and more mature and communicative in the future.

Happy Holidays!

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You broke up with him and broke his heart. It's completely up to YOU to get in touch with him. Tell him straight up how you feel and that you want to get back together. None of this " I was just wondering how you are" or anything like that. TELL HIM THE TRUTH so he's not confused or wondering if you have an agenda.

I disagree with the others. You don't love him, but he is on your mind, since now you have time. If he has moved on, good. You are not ready for a relationship, since its only a priority when you have nothing else to do. Leave him alone and examine your own feelings, motives, and actions.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I disagree with the others. You don't love him, but he is on your mind, since now you have time. If he has moved on, good. You are not ready for a relationship, since its only a priority when you have nothing else to do. Leave him alone and examine your own feelings, motives, and actions.

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Darn it, was told to 'spread it again'...

Tal, it seems as if you and I sometimes ride the same flying carpet or are on the same wave-length that it's ironic. I can imagine us looking down while riding and having identcal thoughts. Way to go 'pard'!

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In relationships the person that we desire and have feelings for, becomes of high value to us and therefore we want to be with this person, spend time with them etc...

As the relationship goes and the emotional attachment we have with this person weakens then other things in our lives become of higher value than this person. Spending time with family, friends, career, study etc...

However sometimes when we have committed ourselves to these other things and do not have the positive emotional benefits of being in a relationship, we begin to miss these things. Affection, attention, love etc. This is value reversal for relationship benefits.

Now since the last person to give us these was our ex, then it reasonable for us to assocaite missing these benefits with missing the ex !
However its not the ex that we are missing, but the being in a loving relationship.

If your feelings for your ex were strong, studies would not of changed things. You would have studied whilst he was there reading a book. You would have wanted him there.

So you need to really look at, is it him you miss or the being with someone.

Remember love is: Not finding someone you can be with, but finding someone you can't be without. And girl, you can be without him or you would not of even considered being apart let alone actually doing it !

Not sure I agree with you guys on that - people can love someone and not want to be with them because they make them unhappy maybe.

I think you should tell him how you feel but first really think whether this is what you really want. If it is what you want I would speak to him asap. Come on guys we've all made mistakes at some point so if your honest and admit your mistake that's a good foundation to start again because you've been honest and had no hidden agendas

Your right Maggie, we all deserve a second chance, if the partner is willing. But after 2 years you dump your partner, and ignore him for 3 months. How do you think he feels? Don't you think it would be hard to move on, and when if he did, would he be afraid that she would get busy from school, and do this again. I think the OP, learned a valuable lesson, and she knows the guy better than we do, and I doubt he would welcome her with open arms.

How did he take the breakup? Has he moved on? And naturally he'll probably be gun shy about getting back together with you since you broke up with him once already. I have to question your assertion that you're "very shy" in light of the reason you give for breaking up with him ; attending school and being involved in a lot of extracurricular activities. Also understand that that's really not a valid reason for ending a relationship. It's good that you were involved and kept yourself busy. It's important to have a life outside of your "significant other" and anyone on this forum will tell you that. But that doesn't mean you can't have a love life either. Now, 3 short months later you say you've cut back on some of your activities (and obviously the semester's over so studies aren't an issue at the moment) and state that you now have "adequate time" for him. I can't help but "read between the lines" in your thread and wonder if there's something else going on here. If he's smart he's keeping himself likewise busy and may not have "adequate time" for you.

Yeh too right! Tough luck now, he's moved on I hope.

I think your right you have to think about what's gone on in the past... theres no getting away from the pain that's been caused but some things are worth fighting for and if you don't ask you will never know, if your honest and say exactly what your feeling you'll get a honest response either way and if it bad you'll have to live with it.

I don't think he will just say okay lets try again but ask then he knows and then you'll know, it depends how strongly you feel and how willing you are to do whatever it takes to get him back... he'll need a lot of convincing but I don't know the guy so I can only advise what I would do in this situation.

All I can say is ask but expect nothing!

If you have feelings for him, then you should tell him. And ask him how he feels. Just tell him you felt as if your feelings have been stirring up again, and wanted to know how he felt. If not, then accept it and move on. If he feels the same way, then you might be able to pursue something again. But you have to know that you will be very busy at times, just like you used to. This can't be another excuse to break up, if so, then you're just not ready to be in a relationship! You should always be able to find time, no matter how busy you are...

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Originally Posted by xxfoxy9ginnyxx

Okay so, I hope that someone on here can help me....I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years in late september, I still loved him, but I was so busy with trying to pass all my classes so I can graduate and I had a lot of extra curricular activities I was busy with. Now 3 months later, I cut down on some of my activities and I feel that I have adequate time for him. I am very shy and I do not know if he has moved on...I think that he believes that I have though...I really dont know what to do about this. Its just killing me inside. He treated me so well, and I really miss him...please help me!:confused:

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You need to talk to him face to face, you need to tell him everything. Trust me its worth it. Yes you may be shy... but the only way your going to find out, and see what happens, is to try, and talk to him. Go for it... beleive in yourself

Well foxy have you decided what your going to do? Have you done anything yet?