Ask Me Help Desk - I've been trying but can't-everything is going wrong

My fiancé and I have been trying to grt pregnant for 1 1/2 years and I can't get pregnant:(
I can't even have a period, the doctor has put me on Provera 3 times but a month or 2 later my period stops again. I can't afford to go to a OBYN unless I can work out a payment plan and I can't find one that does. I want to have a baby so bad and I can't. I have been depressed for a couple of months now and what makes it worst is everyone around me IS having kids(and no I'm not just feeling that way they are and I serious). I am so scared that I'm not able to have kids and I don't know if I can handle that. From the moment I wake up I think about about having a baby and I go to sleep thinking about the same thing. I have heard a lot of people say quit worrying about it so much and I will get pregnant well I tried that and guess what I didn't. I am wishing for a miracle I guess. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to stop wanting a baby or stop thinking about it. I an writing because I hope that maybe someone knows what's wrong with me and can help and also to get it off my chest before I explode.

Has the man been on top?

You have been trying for over a year and a half. That is a good amount of time for both of you to see a doctor. I know you say you can't afford one unless there are payment plans, but how will you afford a baby? They DON'T take payment plans.

Babies are extremely expensive... diapers, formula (if you don't or can't breastfeed), vaccinations, doctor's every week for at least the first few weeks, new clothes almost monthly because they grow so fast. What should happen if the baby is born early and has to stay in NICU for months? That could rack up a bill of almost a million dollars.

None of us here would have an inkling what is wrong with you. We don't know your medical history, can't do a physical exam, and most importantly... can't take the necessary labwork to diagnose you properly.

If you can't afford a doctor, how will you afford a baby?

I agree with J9... if you can't afford proper care for yourself, how are you going to afford proper care for a baby? Don't you have health insurance? If not, I would suggest getting some before you continue to try to get pregnant. If you become pregnant before you secure health insurance, there are not many (if any) insurance companies that will cover the pregnancy and birth.

That said,

I had/have the same problem as you... my OBGYN has me on Prometrium because I don't have a period, then she has me on Clomid to induce ovulation. Sometimes the Prometrium works and I have a period, sometimes it doesn't... when it doesn't work she increases my dose.

If you are having trouble getting pregnant, the only solution is to see your doctor. We won't be able to do much here.

I also forgot to mention the costs of prenatal care and delivery. During pregnancy you see the doctor once a month, until the 8th month, at which time it is 2 times a month. Then at the 9th month you go once a week. And this is with a healthy pregnancy, not high risk.

Then there are the tests that are run during pregnancy... Strep B at 28 - 32 weeks, blood work, ultrasounds, STD tests, Pap smear... All of that is costly too, as those tests are sent out to a lab and the lab bills separately.

As you have been trying well over a year, it is recommended both you and your husband get a full and complete physical.

Hun,
You must have an OBGYN for your own health and the sake of a baby's. Until you have a doctor, you have quit trying for a baby right now. I know you're anxious, but I also know you'll want medical care for any future children.

Before you get married, make sure you sit down with your fiancé and explain your fears and talk about "what ifs". I also had doubts (I only have 1 ovary due to cancer) but my husband and I talked before our marriage and he said he'd be happy with "God's plan". In other words, if we can't have kids, he'll be okay... which made me feel okay.

For you, focus on finding ways to get extra money or insurance to cover the doctor's bills. After that, you can start working on everything else.

Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendy22

My fiance and I have been trying to grt pregnant for 1 1/2 years and I can't get pregnant:(
I can't even have a period, the doctor has put me on Provera 3 times but a month or 2 later my period stops again. I can't afford to go to a OBYN unless I can work out a payment plan and I can't find one that does. I want to have a baby so bad and I can't. I have been depressed for a couple of months now and what makes it worst is everyone around me IS having kids(and no I'm not just feeling that way they are and I serious). I am so scared that I'm not able to have kids and I don't know if I can handle that. From the moment I wake up I think about about having a baby and I go to sleep thinking about the same thing. I have heard alot of people say quit worrying about it so much and I will get pregnant well I tried that and guess what I didn't. I am wishing for a miracle I guess. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to stop wanting a baby or stop thinking about it. I an writing because I hope that maybe someone knows whats wrong with me and can help and also to get it off my chest before I explode.

To everyone that read my question on "I've been trying but can't" I should have explained better on the money situation: I do have insurance but since my problem was already exsiting before I got it they don't want to cover it. I also have a separate doctor I can see but she can only help after a pregnancy occurs. So I can afford to have a baby and sorry I didn't explain myself better and thank you for your answers. Also my fiancé and I have talked about the what ifs a little and he says "if we can we can, if we can't we can't it won't change anything. When I wrote this I think I was just wanted someone to talk to, not actual medical advice or treatments.

Well I would double check with your insurance or maybe look at getting a different insurance.
I just got insurance when my husband and I got married this July. When I filled out all the paperwork, I checked all the problems I had with my cycle. An underwriter called and asked about it before they approved the insurance. I informed them that my OBGYN had done bloodwork and everything seemed to be fine, I just didn't have periods without medication.
They approved my insurance... and didn't specifically not cover anything. But how most insurances are... they will cover fertility (ie. Pregnancy and prenatal care) but they won't cover infertility (ie fertility meds, procedures etc).
My OBGYN appts are covered, and bloodwork is covered. The only thing they don't cover is my medication. The Prometrium is expensive (like $60 for one month), but the Clomid (fertility meds) aren't that expensive... they are only $9 for 50mg. So really the only thing I have to pay out of pocket for is my meds.

So that only adds up to about $70-80 a month.