I always fight. Its always me. I feel so ty about myself. He was my best friend for 6 years,and we have been going out for a year and a half now. Its killing me to know that I'm the cause of the fight. I get hurt quick, I get jealous to the extrem. I think I'm so ugly all the time. I always think that he wants someone else. I'm so down on myself. I wish I could control this. I am too depressed and I cry too damn much. I love him he's my first love and my last. He is a good guy, I'm afraid that I'm pushing him away. I feel like like dying insde. I hurt so much. I KNOW HE LOVES ME TO DEATH. He even cried for me.
I hate myself and what I'm doing. I'M SUCH A !


I'm so sorry but I'm breaking down right now. I just need some advice. He's my everything.

First, relax and breathe! You are not nothing and he is not your everything. You don't "need" him. You may feel that way right now, but no one really "needs" someone else. But you're right about one thing, if you keep being down on yourself and directing that sadness and anger at him, then you're going to push him away. He's obviously with you for a reason. He's not with you because you're a horrible ugly person. He's with you because he must think you're pretty great. Don't project your feelings about yourself onto him.

It sounds like maybe you should really talk to someone (professional) about why you're feeling this way about yourself. It's not healthy and you shouldn't have to feel this way about yourself. We all have insecurities. We all have moments, or days, or even weeks sometimes where we feel bad about ourselves, or feel ugly, or feel fat, or feel unlovable. But you got work on dealing with those insecurities and building yourself esteem. And yourself esteem doesn't come from another person, not even your boyfriend. It comes from how you love yourself. And you got to love yourself first if you want to be able to have a healthy and happy relationship.

As Suelle has said love yourself enough to get the help you need.