Okay Ive had some problems since I was a short little monkey. I was really bad off and I thought about killing myself sometimes. I was given zoloft wich I got the doctor to take me off because it made things worse and didn't help so I have not been on any medicine. I have two children now and it is only because of them I choose life. I do not put any of my problems on them and they have no idea what is really going on inside because I go about like everything is just fine. I have never been able to talk to my parents about this cause they think its like some sort of wound you put a bandaide on and its all gone. Then people keep telling me stop worrying about the past but its not the past. Things in my life have all ways been screwed up like someone put a curse on me and sometimes I think god is mad at me for something I did in a past life or he just doesn't like me for some reason. My husband has an affair on me and leaves me for this other woman and caters to her every need and gives what she wants. I was good to him and when I needed or wanted things he just laughed at me and made excuses. On top of that he had slept with lots of other different women. I feel like maybe I must be ugly or something cause half of them are ugly except for one who was nice to me. I always felt like I was not attractive anyway. Lol. Anyway. Plus he never took care of the children he had with me and he's got two kids by her and he did everything for them so my kids got left out. Is it a good idea that I am not on any medicine? I don't want to be how I was on the zoloft and I hate medicine at all.

I was on it for a while and remember it does not take your problems away, it merely allows you to be rational so that you can address your problems with a more clear head.

Now perhaps it did not work well on you, was not strong enough, or too strong. On the ex, a lot of men are pigs and don't ever try to take the blame on you, if they unzip their pants and go out in other pastures it is their fault, they are aware of what they are doing.

Often they jump out of one relation to another to soon, and never truly commit to a relatinship.

I rearlly think that professional help can help you get over many of the issues, in general you need to learn to feel good good about ourself just the way you are and not to blame yourself for the issues of others.

From reading your threads I could never tell if you had any problems at all but since I see your going through a few things I'll just say stay positive and patience things will look up soon,your just to witty in my book to let things get you down for long.I'm no doctor and I know many people who could benefit from a strong dose of something but I don't know if your in that category,but if you need it.. :cool: :eek:P.S.Be glad your rid of the bum so somebody better can have a chance!

Thank you guys for your responses. Its something I've been dealing with since I was a kid. I know I don't seem like it and I joke a lot but I'm dealing with some stuff right now and I don't usually like to say anything because people take advantage of me for that. I am so glad to be rid of that bum its not even funny. I wonder if there is some sort of alternative medicine like something natural I could take.

Hi, crankiebabie,
There are many different kinds and types of anti-depression medications. Zoloft is only one.
Please see your doctor again, or even a different one, and explain all this to him/her.
Lexapro is another anti-depressant medication; there are many.
I am sure there is one that will work to help you. You can also go online and look up the side effects of whatever it is the doctor prescribes. Zoloft does have many!
Medications are different for different people. That's why you might not find the one for you, the first time. Please ask your doctor again.
Life is wonderful, just one day at a time. I really don't believe anyone is "prone" to bad luck. You are a wonderful person, give some very good advice on this site, and you can make it a good life. The best to you.

Thank you Fred and Im so glad your back.:D

A lot of the thigs you say in your letter I can relate with I myself was puy on antidepresents about 2 months ago and I find that they are helping I sugest you give the medication a try but remember they can take up to 6 weeks to work.

Hi Crankiebabie

Im not in a position to advise on the medical treatment, but as for your ex husband, your well rid, it seems to me that there are people out there who seem to get pleasure out of taking advantage of a kind and loving natured person, and the easier it is for them the more they do it. You seem a very loving person and you deserve someone who will treat you the same. As for thinking your unattractive, that's just silly.

Hello crankiebabie,

This is really a sad story and that must have been very hard on you. The question about your previous husband I agree that it is good he is out of your life now.

As to your depression. It seems that you have been suffering from this since you were a child.

As a nutritional psychologist I quite understand why drugs may not have helped you. Only about 40% of patients can benefit from drug therapy, leaving 60% with what is called 'treatment resistant depression'.

I believe this can be turned around if we start looking at depression from a different angle. So far treatment for depression has centered around drug therapy and/or psychotherapy. Drug therapy tends to be palliative masking symptoms but doing very little to cure the underlying biochemical abnormality that seems to cause depression.

I do not agree with those psychologists who believe that the chemical abnormalities are caused by unresolved past psychological issues. If indeed most depressions are due to a faulty biology, then of course talk therapy is not going to be much good, because after all we are dealing with a physiological disorder that needs to be treated before we look at psychological issues.

When you look at the biochemistry of depression one can only come to the conclusion that depression is in fact a nutritional disorder. This will upset a lot of pundits who believe that mental illness is a mental problem as the term seems to imply. This unfortunate term can lead a lot of people up the garden path.

Most depressions are of the endogenous kind as defined here.

That means that you cannot talk or convince a person "not to be depressed" as so many people are trying to do. It is simply a matter of the body not being able to produce the feel good neurotransmitters such as serotonin.

Our feel good hormones are manufactured out of the ingredients in our food and if we are on the wrong diet - not enough proteins and high in sugars - then the body cannot produce the neurotransmitters.

Now Nutritional Biochemistry can be somewhat complicated but if you read the following articles, it will be within the grasp of anybody to understand why we may be come depressed.

Please read:

What is Hypoglycemia?

The Serotonin Connection

Depression a Disease of Energy Production

Hypoglycemic Diet

This diet is the major tool in beating depression and this should preferably be under the supervision of a Clinical Nutritionist.

We also have a self-help PSYCHOTHERAPY course that deals with the psychological side of depression. This should be studied after steps have been taken to correct the biological abnormality by diet.

It may also be worthwhile to read my book "Getting off the Hook" that has an extensive psychotherapy section. It is freely available on the internet, see link below.

Once you are familiar with some of the principle of nutritional medicine, please discuss it with your therapist.

Depression can be cured!!

Crankie, I believe Jurplesman has a point. Depression is not simply a mental malfunction so to speak, but a physical one too. What you eat has so much to do with how you internalize feelings, emotions, thoughts and ideas. I know it sounds crazy but it really is true. I'm not saying you can eat your way out of depression, but you can lift your head out of the fog, feel stronger and more healthy which of course allows you to cope with your feelings. We all have issues and situations come up in our lives, it's how we cope with them that makes the difference. You've been living with this depression since you were a child I'm assuming because you had a problematic childhood? If that's the case, there are many books out there for you to look into that may get you started on road to a happier, more fulfilling life. Dr. Laura Schlessinger has just written a book called Bad Childhood--Good Life: How to Blossom and Thrive in Spite of an Unhappy Childhood. I know she is not loved by many for being so "controversial", but I did read this book and I feel it has helped me tremendously. It was difficult at first because I don't really like it when someone makes me look so deep into myself that I feel uncomfortable, but when you get past the discomfort, you begin to learn. The part that got me was this, "While many people may be quite aware of their early life challenges, they still may be seriously unaware of how their choices in people, environments, decisions, behaviors, and attitudes are connected to those experiences, and how those choices are the major factor in their current predicaments and unhappiness," You mean to tell me that I am choosing to put certain kinds of people in my life, uhhhh, yeah. I understand so much more, like someone turned on every light in the Western Hemisphere for me. Most times, drugs are not the best answer, they are the quick fix.

You have so much to offer Crankie, I've read your posts. Humor, warmth, intelligence, GUTS. Don't waste it on being sad, angry and confused. Accept what you can't change and change what you're willing to accept, like people who are not worth your time of day, like thoughts that you're cursed or that God is mad at you, like the silly notion that you are not loveable cause there's at least a hundred people on this board alone who will beg to differ because your voice made a difference in their lives. Wake up tomorrow morning knowing that you will make a difference in the world because you are alive today, and you will. Your children are learning from you to be a great human being and they in turn will teach their children that. As far as the men in your life, the loser is gone, we've all picked a dog or two, but we learned from that poor choice and moved on. Ain't nothing wrong with being picky, even if it takes you a little longer to find a winner, he'll be worth the wait.

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Originally Posted by nymphetamine

Okay Ive had some problems since I was a short little monkey. I was really bad off and I thought about killing myself sometimes. I was given zoloft wich i got the doctor to take me off of because it made things worse and didnt help so i have not been on any medicine. I have two children now and it is only because of them I choose life. I do not put any of my problems on them and they have no idea what is really going on inside because I go about like everything is just fine. I have never been able to talk to my parents about this cause they think its like some sort of wound you put a bandaide on and its all gone. Then people keep telling me stop worrying about the past but its not the past. Things in my life have all ways been screwed up like someone put a curse on me and sometimes i think god is mad at me for something i did in a past life or he just doesnt like me for some reason. My husband has an affair on me and leaves me for this other woman and caters to her every need and gives what she wants. I was good to him and when I needed or wanted things he just laughed at me and made excuses. On top of that he had slept with lots of other different women. I feel like maybe i must be ugly or something cause half of them are ugly except for one who was nice to me. I always felt like i was not attractive anyway. lol. Anyway. plus he never took care of the children he had with me and hes got two kids by her and he did everything for them so my kids got left out. Is it a good idea that i am not on any medicine? I dont want to be how i was on the zoloft and i hate medicine at all.

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dude be a killer instead of just taking those idiotic pills,if u can't create something,just destroy it,thk like a child.don;t waste your energy going to doctors,doctors are for crazy people,people who have no control over their nervus systems.don;t take those pills at all.don;t try to be happy.Happy ness is a dream.No one is happy until they are dead.just destroy,thoughts of destruction can give a reason to live.belive me,it is the cycle of nature.don;t worry about jail terms.

You might also talk to an acupuncturist.

While I don't believe in a lot of the chi talk, and the hot cold stuff can be hard to listen to, they can do wonders in some cases when western med cannot.

I've posted this before in answering other questions... but concerning a completely different health topic acupuncture absolutely helped cure my wife in an amazing amount of time. I'm a chemist. I've trained people on track to be physicians and pharmacists. I believe western med has great use. But not all of the answers.

So it might be worth a talk to someone in your area that practices acupuncture. We have some MDs and DOs in town that do it. My wife sees a person who trained 4 years to receive what I think is called a doctor of eastern medicine degree...

I cannot tell you if they can help you, but if you talk to a reputable person and they say they think they can help, I think its worth a try.

Again, completely diff health area, but in our case it got my wife off narcotic painkillers, prevented major surgery, and allowed us to have a son. All because a friend said to talk to an acupuncturist.

I can only reiterate what I have said before. If you want to treat endogenous depression, you need to treat this before considering any psychotherapy.

Please discuss:

Depression: a Disease of Energy Production with your doctor and he/she should be able to treat the biological aspects of depression without recourse to drugs.

I almost passed on this post at the boards. I have related my experience so many times to so many people that I was getting tried of talking about it. Yes I have depression. I have been in treatment for 14 years. And I saw the first words you wrote and it made me laugh out loud. "Short little monkey". A depressed person that is funny, can that happen? Yes, yes, yes! In fact I totally hate the word depression because it is used so much for so many minor disappointments that it robs those of us who have this illness of ever getting a telethon. I propose we rename it SLM for, oh God you're quick, Short Little Monkey.
Because as soon as you tell someone that you have depression they will tell you to snap out of it or others will suggest you eat artichokes or God knows what else. If, IF it was that easy depression would be eliminated tomorrow. It is a disease, a malfunction of the body that affects the personality, among other things. It is NOT a weakness of spirit, it is NOT something that was brought on by outside trauma and it is NOT going to treat itself.
Your experience with Zoloft is not uncommon. You really need to get back to your physician and begin treatment again. I certainly don't love taking medications and I have discontinued them several times, only to reaffirm that I am better off taking them than not. Did your doctor mention that it takes at least 3 weeks or more before you start feeling relief? Perhaps you stopped to soon. But there are a shelf full of other antidepressants available. It won't take long to fine tune your medication.
I'm going to tell you what someone said to me once. You're a hero. Why you ask. Because you are fighting life from an unfair disadvantage. You have withstood treachery, abuse and indifference... but you are still standing. That's enough to crack the best of people but you are raising your kids and going a good job. You have suffered enough. Medication won't make your life perfect but don't you want to the tools to fight with?
One more thing. Only people that have depression can understand what you are feeling. From my heart, one short little monkey to another, please see your doctor soon and get the only proven help that is available for this affliction. Please.

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Originally Posted by zoophilian

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dude be a killer instead of just taking those idiotic pills,if u can;t create something,just destroy it,thk like a child.don;t waste ur energy going to doctors,doctors are for crazy people,poeple who have no control over their nervus systems.don;t take those pills at all.don;t try to be happy.Happy ness is a dream.No one is happy until they are dead.just destroy,thoughts of destruction can give a reason to live.belive me,it is the cycle of nature.don;t worry about jail terms.

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Whaa?? :(

Have not seen you around lately. From the sounds of it your still dealing with depression. I pray that you are coming around. Please remember there are always friends and family that love you and care for you. Remember you have really good friends here that care. Just writing to say hello. Remember you're a beautiful person. You have beautiful children. Do not let anything take that way. God has blessed you many times, please think of the positives in your life. Love life, even in the challenging times.

Joe

Your Welcome, Joe

Hi Shasta, I haven't seen you around much, either. I've been extremely busy myself, but every once in a while when I come on here I think of you and hope you're doing okay. Are you? Please keep us informed about how things are going. Lots of people on this forum (including me!) really care.

P.S. That post by zoophilian is really strange...