Hi everyone,

I have a problem that's been lurking in my mind and I have asked a few of my best friends and they couldn't come up with any answers. So I was thinking since I answer question on here... maybe someone with more experience can help me. First off, I am of age and so is my boyfriend. We have made the decision to have sex.ok, my problem is why can't I have an orgasm? I mean, It's been like 7 times and still nothing. I find my boyfriend very attrative and he's not a bad lover. I just don't have any idea of what's keeping me from reaching one. From the information I have gathered, sex is suppose to feel good, so what's the hold up? My friends said the 1. I am too tight. 2. It'll take sometime to get used to or 3. Hell, I don't knoe. I think it's just me but any one have any suggestions? Thanks a lot

I think he is an inexperienced lover. So are you. Practice with him and by yourself. It can take a while to figure out.

I send u a pm... please read it

Orgasm is not a magic invocation that just "happens" when you command it-take time with yourself, then him.

I think if you learn more what turns you on, you will know how to get your own orgasm. Have you ever had one through self stimulation?

Do you know how to pleasure yourself? Men don't know what makes us feel good, we have to tell them... show them.

Our vagnias don't come with an instruction manual, therefore we have to try and figure it out on our own, and let our men know what does and what does not feel good. Many women do not have vaginal orgasms through penetration only, some women need clitoral stimulation to achieve the pleasure of an orgasm.

Yeah, I have one whenever I pleasure myself, every single time... its just whenever we try to it does not work. So in other words, I need to stimulate myself as he is going at it?

By the way, thank you all for your time and advice. I am actually going to apply it to my life starting today. Lol

Not only can you stimulate yourself, but teach him. He will never know unless you tell him.

A different viewpoint to consider: Sometimes girls first engage in sex because they want to be loved by their boyfriend, held and cuddled so they accept sex as the next step when they are not ready psychologically. There is a disconnect between getting and giving affection and the reality of the sex act.

I'm not being very articulate here, I'm afraid, but you don't have to keep on having sex if you don't enjoy it. You don't seem ready to me.

Best Wishes,

You know what? I never though of it like that, now I to think about it a little more. I do feel like I am ready but maybe there is something mentally blocking me. Seriously, in my heart, I do not feel bad about sex at all. I do understand what is happening and my surroundings. I guess I need to sit down and really think about it.