I have a problem.

If you have read all my other threads then you will know that my parents have split up etc.

Anyway usually at xmas there is usually me, my mum, my two brothers, my nan, my auntie, my uncle, my cousin and my step-dad. It has been tradition for years - it's never been any different.

This year however my Uncle is spending xmas with my cousin, Nan and his new girlfriend and her children.

My auntie is going to her in-laws.

My mum & Little brother are spending xmas at our close friends parents house.

My older brother??

My Step-Dad??

I am quite upset that the family tradition has gone out the window and I have no idea what to do or where to go. I don't feel xmasy at all.

Any ideas on where I should spend my xmas? Bearing in mind I am very close to all of my family - so much so my cousin is more like my sister.

Last year my wife and I split up, no big deal we parted more or less amicably.
I had a cr*p time last year, I went out with friends but didn't really enjoy myself. I vowed that this year was going to be a lot better.

This year the tree is up, pressies are under the tree. My family (parents sister, kids from first marriage) are not particularly close. That makes it a little easier for me.

This year I am cooking for South African, French and Australian friends. If I had room I would have sent you an invite.

I hope you have a great Christmas though.

Always remember no matter how bad it is, you have your health and a roof over your head. There are people a lot worse off than you.

Happy Christmas.

Traditions change, people grow up and move away, everyone meets new friends.

It is a sad place in our life when things happen like this.

When I marreid, that changed almost everything, now we had to share holidays, take turns, Thanksgiving one place, Christmas another.

Then we moved out of state, we could not afford the travel to them any longer. Then my first wife died, an entire new situation, grand parents wanting to see grandkids, but I amnot really part of their family.

Add a new wife latter on and what do you do.

Dad is in a nursing home now, we can't even bring him out this year,

We sadly have to adapt, you will have many changes in your life as time goes on.

If you were in TN you could come to our dinner, we often welcome lost souls in. That is a great tradition that we started finding those new to an area, those lost from family and having a tradition of being non traditional

When you see me standing in the snow in a Santa suit doing a BBQ you know you are at my house now

It is sad - and I really don't know what to do or where to go.

Thank you both so much for the kind offers - if I lived close by I would most definitely say yes.

Hopefully I will think of something - I only have 2 days left to decide.

It ain't cheap but;

Southampton (SOU) to Guernsey (GCI) Fri 23 Dec 2005
Depart 08:20 Arrive 09:05 £ 81.50

Guernsey (GCI) to Southampton (SOU) Tue 27 Dec 2005
Depart 16:00 Arrive 16:40 £ 81.50

Best I can do is offer you a couch to sleep on! The house is full, so are the hotels.

Not too sure if you want to spend crimbo with a 23'ish travelling SA girl, a 30'ish French girl, a 30'ish Austrlian man, a 34yo Guernsey man, and me (very old, daugther is 20 son 21)

Maybe in the future, as your birthday is the day after mine, who knows... whatever, make the best of what you decide on.

That is really kind of you & a very tempting offer!!

DJ H,

I just want to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Years. I am getting ready for a long trip to the east coast driving. Well I can tell you about families and Christmas. Families change, traditions change. My wife's family is so jealous because we have started to have our own holidays together. We used to go to her families a lot, until the problems started. Now we have My wife calling her mother to invite her and the family up with us for Christmas for a CHANGE. Her mother gave her the third degree, why do you never come over anymore when your invited and then started blaming me. For thanksgiving we had my family together because my family never had that for a long long time. So her mother started blaming me for her daughter not coming anymore then she actually the one time I had my family over, said well you have had joes family together up there, there your family now. She said she was not going to invite us anymore or call anymore. Merry Christmas to you to, I told my wife that her mother can go ----- herself and that if she wants to put guilt trips on you like that and threaten not to call anymore and stuff like that the only thing that will make her think is lose contact and put your foot down. I should not be thinking about this, but the thing is some people are resistant to changes but they do happen.

My question for you is why do you not make it a very special christmas with pete? Now I know you may feel different or wished you were with family but maybe this year you need to break away from the tradition and have an exciting christmas and make new memories with pete?

My wife and I, even though we are not with the families as much, we are our own family and need to have our own time for the holidays and do not need to have to see everybody. Those times together alone, especially for the first christmas was the best. It can happen.

This year though my wife and I, for the first time are sharing christmas with my family.

So again, with changing traditions. Love and laugh and know that you will never be lonely. I know you may not see everybody but Christmas can be special. Merry Christmas and I hope you can get together with Pete, if your closer to your cousin why not be with your cousin. I hope this helps some and I will not be on the boards for a while. Smile and laugh and enjoy life.

Joe

My Christmas usually sucks. One year we had a real christmas tree. This year with the gas prices gone up and the court case and hospital and all that we will not have a christmas tree. Maybe that funny little plastic one from when I was a kid. My kids are like mommy we want this and that. I hope they won't be too disappointed that I cannot give them everything they want. I got them a few little things they may need and their grandparents got them some little things too. Hopefully we will maybe win the lottery. Lol. I think it would feel a lot worse if the family wasn't there with us.

Years ago I went to a christmas party but I really didn't want to be there but at the end of the evening I met a lovely young lady who I have been with ever since.Now after raising kids and bouncing Grans on my belly welly me and my forever lady will be home alone for a change.Nice quiet nobody but us to celebrate our first meeting ,I wish everyone a happy holiday and if your alone, don't be, there's a LOT OF PEOPLE WHO NEED YOUR HOLIDAY CHEER!You never know who you might find out there!:cool: :eek:

In the past when I've had to spend the holidays alone, I've tried to keep myself busy. It's been a personal tradition of mine to go to the movies on Christmas Eve. In fact this year my fiancé and I might still keep the tradition and go see King Kong tomorrow night. On the actual day, if I had to be alone, I'd sleep in, make myself a nice meal, etc. For several years I went and helped serve meals at a local soup kitchen and that really cheered me up. Then on Boxing Day (Dec.26), I'd go to the mall (still do this!) and buy myself a present. Of course being with people you love is much better but doing those things helped me to survive and not feel bad.