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My boyfriend freaks out around anything that has to do with marriage.guys?

So I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. It seems as if he loves me more than I do (I don't really think so, he just shows it more) He tells me he loves me at least 2-3 every time I see him. He will call me just to talk, he always wants to see me, and he tells me that no one understands him as well as I do, and I'm so different from other girls in a good way.
Now. We are young, we go to college, I'm not ready for marriage, and he isn't either. We haven't talked about it, but it just seems so obvious.
But WHY does he completely flip out whenever anything that has to do with marriage pops up?
Once I was looking at a little booklet that said "how well do you know your bride" I thought it would be fun to try, as the questions could have worked for a girlfriend too! But he totally freaked out and responded "Oooh no bride? maybe girlfriend! not BRIDE"
Why does he react like this? I'm not sure if it's really marriage with me, or just marriage in general.

THANKS!

Maybe he's just not ready to discuss marriage. Some guys are like that. If you guys have a great relationship how it is don't worry about it.
I am 21 and I am married (I got married when I was 20). Some of my husbands friends are just like that with their girlfriends.
You said you were not sure if it is marriage with you, or marriage in general... I think it is just marriage in general. Some guys just have this sterotype in their heads that marriage is this awful thing, when it is not. Why don't you talk to him about it. Talk him you want to talk about it not because you want to get married, but you want to know why he is so jumpy about it. Communication and honest is the key to a great relationship. So just ask him.

He knows he isn't ready for a commitment, or all that marriage calls for. Its not a priority in his life.

It may be an issue you need to discuss though, if you may be ready in 2 or 3 years but he does not want to ever get married, but just live together forever. If you have plans for a family and he does not, these are the issues you find out while dating.

Yeah, I think I overreacted a bit.
I don't think it is something I should be worrying about. Everything is great, and it's not what I'm looking for anyway at the moment.
Thank you for your responses!

I had been in a relationship for three and a half years, with my best guy friend of three years prior to our relationship. Our three years together were great, our love only growing from the day we first started dating. Our chemistry was incredible, and our love was still going strong.

I just turned 20 in May. I've always felt that the best time to get married in my opinion would be during my mid- to late 20s, simply because I'd like to have children at a somewhat young age, so I started to think about how my 20s should be a segment of my life where I can let loose and have fun. Being in such a long-term relationship, I thought that would prove to be a little difficult, especially considering that my boyfriend was very much of a homebody and all we really did was go to the movies, hang out and each others' houses, and cuddle. Every so often we would go out to friends' houses, and parties, but it wasn't often.

Anyway, I at around the beginning of the year I told him how I felt that at a certain point I would feel the need to experience other things, and live the single life, and experience being with other people. (He is my first love after all). I felt there was no way out. Even if we decided to get married eventually I would always wonder what if there's something better, what kind of person would I be had I explored more during my youth..

We had that talk and decided we look into a break/open relationship (if either one of us traveled for a long period of time) / possible break-up, eventually when the time came. We decided it may happen naturally.

Well the day came yesterday, a week after he came back from a two month trip from France. During his trip I missed him, but at the same time felt I could go out more, and hang out with my friends more also. I felt a certain freedom I didn't have when he was here. So when he got back from his trip I felt a little distant from him, and I think he felt that. Last night, he brought up our discussion at the beginning of the year, and stated that if I wasn't happy, or felt the need to break up, then I needed to tell him cause he didn't want me to be unhappy.
We ended up breaking up after several hours of trying to figure it out. We agreed we should experience other things, but remain friends, since we were friends before our relationship.

The break-up was so difficult, I couldn't stop crying and he trembled as he spoke. I feel that it was so sudden even though I had thought about it for a while. I feel like we made the right decision but it is so much more difficult than I thought. I can't stop crying, and I feel so miserable. I talked to him this morning to check on how he was doing, and he was coping with it as best as he could, be he somewhat regretted bringing the subject up but at the same time felt that it might have been necessary. As it would have come up some time or another.

I feel like we made the right decision, but neither of us really wanted to break up. I feel the need to be single, and maybe meet other guys and experience being with other people. My boyfriend (... or I guess ex-boyfriend now.. ) was a little too much of a homebody and didn't challenge me enough. We were very much in love, but I don't feel that it was enough. I feel the need to branch out more. But at the same time I can't help but feel like we ended something great. My mom kept kept asking me why I broke up with him if it's making me so miserable I obviously didn't want to break up with him. But I did, and I was sure of it before it actually happened. Now I want him with me so much. I want him to comfort me, and I want to be with him. Should I just weather the storm, knowing that it will go away? Or did I just make a big mistake. After all, after three and a half years, love usually fades but ours didn't. But then again I feel this subject would have re-surfaced eventually and we would end up breaking up at some points.

Clearly, I feel very perplexed right now... Also we broke up on our way back from a party so it was in a car. We cuddled and kissed for one last time in the car but it felt so sudden still. I almost want to spend one more day as a couple, just for closure, but I don't know if that would be such a good idea. With time we've decided we will start hanging out again as friends, it's just going to be very hard...

Any help is so deeply appreciated. I really need some guidance right now, this is my first break up and it's way worse than I thought...

Thanks.

If you had a boyfriend, then who's this? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...te-407364.html

I'm guessing this is the same boyfriend?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ys-163297.html

The guy I was referring to in the first post is a guy I used to work with, until I quit last week in fear of what it could do to my relationship. I felt really tempted and to me, it was just a taste of what I could have experienced had I been single. But I chose to run away from it afterwards instead of pursuing anything since I was still in a relationship with my long-term boyfriend...
The other two posts are about the same boyfriend...

I think you did the right thing for now. Your not sure, and your young. This is the only way your are going to find out for yourself. I don't doubt it hurts being the first love. But its better to find out now, then later. Keeping friends I don't think is a good idea right now, way too soon. Both of your emotions are going to be in the middle of the friendship and will only confuse the two of you. It sounds too me, the challenge isn't there anymore. He sounds like a good guy, buy he is just a home buddy. Nothing wrong with that, its just him. I think its best for now to see what's out there, and good luck.

You worry that you might wonder back when your married if you missed out on something... I think that's natural, I think there will be days where you wake up and say "Is this really forever?". It happens in all marriages.

In my opinion, there is no "the one". Honestly, there are nearly 7 billion people in the world, the chances of one making you happier than the rest is almost impossible. If you are as in love with your ex as you say, I don't think you risk the chance of losing him. If you got to the point where you no longer love him or desire a relationship with him then its necessary to end it.

In time you will know if it was a right choice or not, but in this time just take it slow and steady with this new found freedom that you have longed for.

As in the question of your love for him. I think just by reading your post that yes you do love him, but in my opinion you just got to comfortable with your now ex boyfriend.

I think you stick to your decision no ,matter how much second guessing goes on, so you can reevaluate your feelings and decide for yourself what you really want. It takes time for the emotional dust to really settle and see the real facts, instead of just the feelings.

Thanks for the responses!
Also, we've decided to remain friends so we are still talking on the phone. I talked to him today on the phone to check how he was doing, and tonight he called me to let me know how telling his parents went. I feel that it's healthy as it gives me a feeling of comfort knowing that we can stay in touch and still be a part of each other's lives, but some of my friends are advising to stay apart from each other for a while until we're ready to be friends again. Should we not be talking on the phone, or is that fine? We've decided we can still call each other but to wait until we're ready to see each other in person again..
I just feel that not having him in my life at all right now would be extremely difficult...

Breaking those intense attachments will be even harder, but we will see how that phone thing works.

What if he gets another romantic interest and can't call as much?

I don't think talking to him on the phone would help him get over you at all. If you really care about him, you would just not talk to him which would benefit him in the long run. My ex is mad so its good in a way because she doesn't contact me at all and I believe I am doing good.

You made the right decision but it shows that deep down you want to be with him. It is okay to be friends but emotions are still involved so that would be hard to keep the friendship. Now what if one day he talks to you about another girl because he feels you all have a friendship and that you all could talk about things what will happen than. Because he was your first love don't mean he's going to be the last one nothing is wrong with experiences other people. That is good because you will find more about yourself and men also.

You made the right decision for you...

Its always hard to break up,what perplexes me is that you seem very much in love with this man,and I can't see how your going to enjoy being with other men,even as a date and no sex without thinking 'this is good,I need this but something is not right'...

I do understand where you are coming from,and the need to explore the single life..

My advice is to go no contact with your ex,both of you... and see how the land lies... you will both find out fairly quickly if this is for you...

Do what you set out to do,don't mope... take the bull by the horns and get out there.. the decision has been made and the reasons stated.. now follow through.

Harshness warning

I think that when a person starts wanting to experiment possibilities with someone else, it means that the feelings for the current significant other began to diminish.

If a person is happy with their current relationship, they wouldn't want to jepordize that by breaking up and risk losing the other person forever.

Right now, it seems like you want to stay friends to keep him around as a backup plan. You're going to go off experimenting with other guys and if it doesn't work out, then you're going to go crying back to your ex boyfriend. How is that fair to him? Furthermore, keeping him around as a back up plan will also prevent you from completely moving on. Because every guy you meet will be a rebound because your mind is still fixated on your ex boyfriend. How is that fair to the new guys that you meet? How is that fair to you?

If you don't want to be in a relationship, then do him a favor and let him go. Don't keep him around as a backup plan. Go your separate ways so that he can find someone else. Keeping in touch will give him false hope and he would put his life on hold waiting for you. But what if you never go back to him?

Even if you want to stay friends, he might one day realize what I just said. He might realize that he's your backup plan and cut all ties with you so that he can heal properly.

I suggest that you make up your mind and stick with it. If you don't want to loose him, then go back to him. If you don't think that you can work out a relationship, then let him go and move on with your life by leaving the past behind you.

I think you let each other go, so you both can heal.