Ask Me Help Desk - Got dumped?

Hey y'all. Me and my girlfriend decided to break up. I have been overwelmed with school and college applications, it was just to stressful. Each of us had trouble filling the bf/gf expectations each one of us had for each other. Before we went out we were pretty close friends, but then this year we decided to go out. As I said it didn't work, but we have decided to remain best friends. At the time when ewe brokup, about 5 days OK, I was thrilled. I can keep my best friend, and I am now a free man with no constraints. However, the last few days have been a little weird. All I can think about is her, and worring if I'm gunnabe jealous when she's going out with another guys. Im re thinking weather I should have broken up with her. But I know I definitely don't wantto ask her back. She was my first girlfriend and imnot sure how to deal with the breakup, even though the break up went well for both of us, I still miss her in some ways. Any help out there?

I actually dontthink I made clewar what I was asking. I just want some advice on how to deal with a break up, like, should I go for another girl, or just stay single for a litte, stuff like that

What do you feel like doing? Are you interested in another girl? Would you like to just be single for awhile? There is no right or wrong answer, you just have to go with what feels right for you.

In the meanwhile, you might explore where you got these bf/gf expectations? If she is still a friend, you might try to find out why hers are different than yours?

Getting that understanding of the different expectations can be very helpful to you in future relationships.

Give yourself some time to really get over the emotions, and deal with them, there is no hurry, so heal at your own pace. Recognise she may need a little time herself, so focus on you and what you need to. I think reading the links in my signature would be helpful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciarz52

Hey y'all. me and my gf decided to break up. I have been overwelmed with school and college applications, it was jsut to stressful. each of us had trouble filling the bf/gf expectations each one of us had for each other. before we went out we were pretty close friends, but then this year we decided to go out. as i said it didnt work, but we have decided to remain best friends. at the time when ewe brokup, about 5 days ok, i was thrilled. i can keep my best friend, and i am now a free man with no constraints. however, the last few days have been a little wierd. all i can think about is her, and worring if im gunnabe jealous when shes going out with another guys. Im re thinking weather i should have broken up with her. but i know i definatly dont wantto ask her back. she was my first girlfriend and imnot sure how to deal with the breakup, even though the break up went well for both of us, i still miss her in some ways. any help out there?

In some moments of our short life we all have made our mind and hard choices, and we all were still confused if we made the right choice or not. It's a human nature. You come to the point were you say its better this way, and than after making the choice, you reconsider it, and than again, you say "forget it, it was better this way". It seemed like you are in the "reconsider" phase. I would say this. Once you make a choice, there was a real factor to force your choices. And you have to consider it, every time you "reconsider" your choices. Just because that factor was stronger than all your feelings, all your time you had together, and every moment you had together, and your relation. It was a factor to kill your relation and break up. The stressful life you two had, was not a real factor, it was just a superficial one. You were not a priority to each other life. You were just friends. Anyway, I'm not going to analyze your relation with this post, just giving my opinion. Now about your situation, I would say, you should disappear from each other life for some time, if you don't have to lose even your friendship. Going from love to friendship, its just impossible! Its only possible when you two had no real realtion (I mean feelings and all the rest), or it was like a mix of feelings. But as its said: "Love can't be bismarched with friendship, its just not fair"!