I've been dating this girl for 11 months and I'm sure I'm in love with her. We're together almost every second and we can't stand being apart from each other. Recently I got my phone bill and I had used loads of minutes at 11pm-6 in the morning with her. Obviously my parents were miffed. They told me that she isn't allowed to call, we're not allowed to see each other or even email or text. The whole day I've spent crying and lashing out and I can't stand life without her, she doesen't want to break up (I have no clue why) and neither do I but I feel incredibly bad for holding her back from other guys while this is happening. My parents said this is going to be permanent but I don't know.. I just feel so depressed and alone without her.. it's he** trying to get my mind off her... shes the most important thing to me and I feel so alone. Can anyone offer any advice?

Thanks,
Nick

Wow, your parents are acting ridiculous first off. Second off, by the looks of it, you can't be older than 15 or 16, which means you will have many loves in your lifetime. However, this being your assumed first love and you have been daing for almost a year kind of changes things. You will find ways to see her and talk to her if you really wanted to. Go over to a friends house, talk to her there or see her there. There are so many ways for teens to slip past their parents when it comes to girls.

As for your parents, if you to them very maturely ad explain that you "love" this girl, and go into detail about how she makes you happy and how she makes you feel, they may understand and you can reach some sort of compromise. If not, your parents really don't care about your situation or feelings, and no parent should ever act like that. If they care about you enough to ground you from the phone and seeing her, they care about you enough to listen to what you have to say, but only if you come to them as an adult.

Good luck!

I was planning on sneaking on the phone at night.. the computers hard though. My dad's a cop and he wants to have his friend go through all my stuff... but I can SecureErase the hard drive before he comes or w/e. But the main thing is I'm 14 and she 16 and they hate the age difference.. and if I tell them I love her they'll most likely laugh or tell me I don't know what it is. They keep telling me she causes problems and that ill find more girls, but I don't want any more girls if I can have the one I love right now. We were supposed to see each other to day but the bloody snow storm ruined that. I'll most likely see her next week if I don't kill one of my parents by then (that was a joke nothing serious ;) ). But I keep getting this feeling of rage randomely and I just feel like beating someone or something.. im so stressed about it. I'd kill to hear her voice right now...

Well I guess your parents have some sillly idea you should be sleeping between 11 and 6

And of course I don't understand why they are telling you when you can talk on YOUR phone since you paid for it, and are paying the monthly bill for it. And why when you use your computer that you paid for, and using the internet service that you paid for, why you can't

So you can't talk to her for hours every day, if she breaks up because of that, she was never a true girlfriend to start with.

You over did it, and need to learn moderation and proper sleep habits, and proper ways of dating it sounds

I'm going to put a small spin on aiyerrc's post.

I agree, the avg person falls in love 6 - 7 times. I know you feel like you'll NEVER EVER EVER love another person, but you will. I'm on #2 now...

As far as telling your parents that you "love" this girl... technically, I'm asian. So if I tell my parents that, they will laugh in my face. Culturally speaking, traditional asian parents don't believe their kids can fall in love until they something around 25 - 26... when they're about to get married. I'm serious. I'm 21 and if I tell my parents I love a girl, they will tell me that I'm not ready for love. Really.

A few of my friends got married last year, at the ages of 20 and 21, and my parents thought that was the biggest mistakes of their lives.

So really, I understand if you can't tell your parents this or if you know that your parents will think you're ridiculous for falling for this girl.

I would, however, talk to your parents about compromise. Tell them that your grades won't suffer, that you will talk limited amounts on the phone, etc. parents can be overprotective, and they simply don't want you to get hurt in the end. They also don't want you to give up your life for this girl, as they know you are full of promises in life.

My $0.02

I actually paid for the computer and I pay for the internet service. I have proper sleep habits thank you, and it was 8 calls and I didn't say from 11-6, BETWEEN 11 or 6. I know how to date fine, if I didn't, it wouldn't have been dating for 11 months. I'm not asking for what I did wrong, I've just had a 3 hour talk with them about that, I'm asking for advice to keep myself sane for the time being.

Thanks for the advice ISneeze. I think that was exactly what I needed to hear. My grades wont/haven't suffered with her around. I just want to know what I should do till this blows over. I don't think they can keep me from her... I hope...

Ah, to keep busy. I'd search for friend4u178's WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU GET DUMPED. Obviously, you didn't get dumped, but it'll help you for the time being.

Do you work out often? If so, then go work out. Hang out with your friends for a little bit. You ever wanted to make 1000 paper cranes, then get on it. Clean your room, reorganize your itunes folder, upgrade your computer... do little things.

If you read my post, my ex and I broke up last weekend. Since then, I wake up in the morning, make a mental list of what to do. And they're things like... VACUUM MY ROOM, CLEAN MY BATHTUB, GO FOR LUNCH WITH A FRIEND, GO BORROW A BOOK FROM THE LIBRARY, etc. small things. And get them done.

How far apart do you live? Why not use a landline for talking to each to each other? And do it at a decent hour so your parents don't get upset. You can also do IM on the computer. Both alternatives are cheaper than a cell phone. Talk with your parents about it.

I have been upgrading the computer all day. It's kept me occupied for a bit but she's always in the back of my head. Musics helping a bit. I do work out but I was up till 1am yesterday watching my little cousin in a play (3 hours driving to the play, 3 hours of the play, 3 hours driving back). This probably sounds stupid but just talking about it makes me feel a little better. I'm going to go search that topic now. Thank you for all your help..

I do use a landline but I'm grounded from that right now. We live about 10 minute car ride and a 20 minute bike ride but like I said there's a huge snow storm and I'm short/skinny so I might blow away :p . I can't IM because I'm grounded from that and I hate what MSN has become since Microsoft took over.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by X-Z3R0

I do use a landline but i'm grounded from that right now. we live about 10 minute car ride and a 20 minute bike ride but like i said theres a huge snow storm and im short/skinny so i might blow away :p . I can't IM because im grounded from that and i hate what MSN has become since Microsoft took over.

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Man would rather not talk to his girl than to use msn. What a true hater. It's fantastic.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

i'd search for friend4u178's WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU GET DUMPED. obviously, you didnt get dumped, but it'll help you for the time being.

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Hi (thanks fr the endorsment sneeze :)
You can find the link at the bottom of my signature

Quote:

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Originally Posted by X-Z3R0

i actually paid for the computer and i pay for the internet service. I have proper sleep habits thank you, and it was 8 calls and i didnt say from 11-6, BETWEEN 11 or 6. I know how to date fine, if i didn't, it wouldn't have been dating for 11 months. I'm not asking for what i did wrong, i've just had a 3 hour talk with them about that, i'm asking for advice to keep myself sane for the time being.

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I think you've left out some details here. 8 calls within an 11-month span (that's an average of less than 1 per month) between the hours of 11-6 won't run up a cell phone bill to inordinate amounts and aren't worth a "3-hour talk" with your parents. I think there's some other issues here.

If you couldn't tell I'm a Linux user :P. At the moment I'm on windows, only thing supporting my printer but anyway I read that topic.. it sounds hard to do all that stuff... especially no contact. When we fought once I pulled it off for the whole day but when I try again I cant. I love this girl with everything and couldn't imagine life without her. Then again me and her have been to hell and back 3 times... I think we can get through this. Like I said before I hope my parents can't keep this stupid punishment.

No! Not 8 calls within an 11 month span! 8 calls late at night on my cell phone when I shouldn't be on. To estimate I've made over... 2000+ calls to her in the last month or 2? 8 were just really late when I shouldn't be on. I used to never be able to imagine a day without talking to her..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by X-Z3R0

I do use a landline but i'm grounded from that right now. we live about 10 minute car ride and a 20 minute bike ride but like i said theres a huge snow storm and im short/skinny so i might blow away :p . I can't IM because im grounded from that and i hate what MSN has become since Microsoft took over.

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Well then something else is definitely going on here. There's something else that your parents are concerned about. It wouldn't cost you anything to IM and landline wouldn't entail any toll charges since you only live 10 minutes apart. Try to open up the lines of communication and find out what's really up then fill us in.

It's the fact that I've done this same thing once before. And that they think she causes me problems so if I don't talk to her those problems will end.

Well the girlfriend has given me good news. I decided to give my dads "ban" a big F-U and I texted her phone from my email asking if she was going to leave me. In return I got some big thing about how much she loves me and we can get through this and so on.. so I'm pretty sure that is hopeful...

Rebellion may not be the best method... as now your parents won't respect you as you didn't respect their boundaries. The best method was to approach them like an adult and to talk about the issue. Regardless, at least you feel better.