Six months ago the love of my life broke it off. We have been together for five years, never a day apart. We were buying a house and I thought everything was great. We always started and ended our days with I love you. We didn't even have a fight. But one morning I didn't get the goodbye that was always there. At work she called me and said when you get home we need to talk. She said I'm sorry but I'm not happy and that its fair to you are me. Then she left. I text her her the next day and told her that if I did something wrong just let me know,and that I love you. She replied with I love you to but I have to find myself first. Anyway I move out of the house and told her I would give her space to do that. After about two weeks of being apart now she says that she doesn't love me and she hasn't in about a year.We have talked some over the past six months, but most of the time it now ends up in a fight. I found out that she started seeing a guy about a week after the breakup. So that's the reason we fight. But even doing that for the first 3 months she called me for things like dog food and for someone to talk to. I think it was just a reason to talk to me, but I could be wrong. About 2 months ago she blowed my phone up one night, and I found out later that it was because the other guy cheeted on her. I wasn't home so I didn't get the call tell the next day so I didn't see her. Two days later she called me again and asked me to meet her at a bar. We hade a good time just dancing and talking, she kissed me but that's all that happened. After that I think she got back with him about a week later. And from then on they have been off and on. But all I want is my life back. She wanted to have babies and had a ring that she wanted to have reworked about a month before we split. I told her that I would never give her a ring from a failed marriage. And that we need to be better off and plan a little more before kids.

People do things that don't make sense. Sometimes we get really hurt. The situation sounds awful. You can't make her come back though. You can't make her stop changing things that you thought were good. It probably wasn't good for her. It's common for women to not tell their mate that they are unhappy. Especially when it's sex. I'm not saying that's it but, as a woman, it's my first guess.

The best thing you can do is to learn from it. Become a better person, and take that into someone's life.

Your situation makes me very sad. I know you love her. That is the part that hurts the most. You feel like your life is no longer there because she is gone. The past 5 years you were happy with someone that you loved. You want this feeling back, but the reality is, you may never have her back. Like "simoneaugie" said "you can't make her come back" I know it may be hard but time will heal your wound. You do not feel as sad as you did the first day this happened. As time went on you felt a little better. Time will heal this. But there are ways to make this "wound" heal a lot faster. By the way, I was in relationship for 3 years, she did almost the same thing. I sent her flowers to her new work one day and BAM! The next day she said that we needed time apart. It has been over a year since we broke up and I regret ever going out with that witch. I found someone so special, someone so unique and beautiful. The advise I give to you is to stop seeing this woman. This is part of the reason you still live in the past. You need to go out, hang out with ladies. Go hang out with your buddies. There are millions of women out there. What makes you think that one of those girls isn't your soulmate and wife for the rest of your life. I promise you, "good things will come from this break up...it just takes time, you will find another woman and i guarantee...when you find the right one,she will be better than any one your past relationships out together."

Thanks to all that have showed interest in my dilemma, but I would like a little more reasons I should walk away. This is the deal, I still love her so much. Yes she jumped right into a another bed, but I think she only did that to help get over me. She has been drunk almost every day since the break up. The friends that we both shear tell me things that she says. One thing she said is that she doesn't love him she loves me. But he has cheated on her and they fight a lot from what I hear. Why would she stay there. Is she trying to stick to her guns by not admitting she was wrong. If she was unhappy before this can't make her happy now. I am thankful for the answers given, but I don't want someone else. Everybody always says to just move on and find somebody new, but right now that's not right to me are the new person. It would still be a rebound for me and I see how hers is going. What kills me the most is that she is probably lied up in bed with him right now. Does she even thing of me and my feelings? Five years is along time to just forget. She always told everyone that she was so in love with me. I know there has to be a reason that she isn't telling me are anyone else. I mis her so much.

She is a deceiver and is not truthful. Do not think about what she is doing because it isn't going to help you. You need to do things that will help you through the turmoil. Goingcrazy, you are at the right place. Welcome. You are currently on the "Dating" thread. You need to go to "Relationships", if you haven't already. Read and re-read the first two subjects. Does she think of your feelings? No. She is thinking only of her own. You will make it through this and will be a better man for having done it.

How old are you two?

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Originally Posted by goingcrazy

After about two weeks of being apart now she says that she doesn't love me and she hasn't in about a year.We have talked some over the past six months, but most of the time it now ends up in a fight. I found out that she started seeing a guy about a week after the breakup.

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Ok, she lost the love for you a year ago, In the meantime she has been looking for the next guy behind your back and you never noticed. This guy came along, she was infatuated and bam, you are done.

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Originally Posted by goingcrazy

About 2 months ago she blowed my phone up one night, and I found out later that it was because the other guy cheeted on her.

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Her ideal blew up, her dream man turned out to be a scumbag. Oh no, what do I do now, I can't be alone, hell I stayed with you for 1 year and I wasn't in love with you. Let me run back to security.

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Originally Posted by goingcrazy

Two days later she called me again and asked me to meet her at a bar. We hade a good time just dancing and talking, she kissed me but thats all that happened. After that I think she got back with him about a week later.

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So she is running back to you for the security, let see how much he wants me and how much sh*t he will put up with(BTW, she has no respect for you). But remember, most girls compete (the new guy cheated on me with this other girl but I'll get him) so she goes back to him.

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Originally Posted by goingcrazy

But all I want is my life back.

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Really, you don't. There is a big difference between girls and women, it's called maturity. She is done with you and it is best to just move on.

Here's what is going to happen to her and the new guy. It will end, maybe weeks, maybe years, but it will end. Because he doesn't care about her. Either she will wise up, or like most 20 year olds put up with it because he looks good.

Now, you can call her and chase her and do everything wrong, or you can just take some time on your own and be thankful that you didn't marry her. Stay away from her, she is cold, and your feelings do not matter.

I know it is tough, but trust me there will be others and they will be much better than her.

If you do not accept the heartbreak and grief she has caused already, then you must be in denial, and that's not love, nor is it healthy. Its like finding out fire is hot after burning your hand, and then wondering will it burn the other hand as bad. Get some reality, and move on.

I was in the same situation. I've been with the girl for five years and one day she just said we needed a break. I realize she only said that to keep me on the side line waiting for her. I knew how it was going to end up. We share the same friends and they told me what was going on but I trusted her so much. I was in love with her for so long I forgot what pain felt like. I when on a drinking spree for 3 month. I quit my job and just became a drunk. Last night was when we had our first kiss and even though I was with all my buddies on the inside I felt so alone because she wasn't holding my hand. I also text her to say happy new year and she didn't return the greeting, At this point I realize she doesn't care about me so why should I even carry on thinking about the past. Today is the first day that I truly feel alive without her. Just be glad that you got to experience loved and be love. Now it time to experience a new one. Move on and learn, that life. Don't try to get answer for her action, just move on and one day I guarantee you, she will call you with the answer.

I agree with lostinlove. Sometimes you have to just take things as they are and move on with your life. They always say "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger", and it's true. I've been through some terrible things in my life, but those things (no matter how bad they hurt) made me the person I am today, and I'm pretty happy that I turned out the way I did. Live life with no regrets. Be happy that you did experience love and who knows, but you may get to be one of the lucky ones who experiences it twice. Good luck to you and I hope that the healing process is a quick and painless one. It's hard moving on, but once you realize where you could potentially end up, it's not so bad after all. It maybe be that a year from now you are thanking god for the break up because you've recently found the TRUE love of your life. I wish you the best dear!! Start this new year on a good note. Don't something just for you. You are single now, go out and be selfish. Do it all for you. By yourself dinner, maybe that new cologne you've been wanting to try. Happy new year babe!

<3 Leslie