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I'm twenty years old and my boyfriend of six months doesn't want to have sex anymore. It isn't that I am not attractive or that I am overweight because I only weigh 110 pounds and I do a little modeling. He will ask me if I will give him oral sex but the minute I try to get him to have sex he turns me down and says that is all I want from him. I do not understand.
Why do you think he is your boyfriend?
It appears from what you say that he thinks little of you as a person. You don't need to be humiliated and used. Your self-worth will be destroyed, in my opinion.
Remember, you came into this world as a precious gift for humanity... be careful how you let others treat you.
Best wishes...
=/ it seems like he's only using you for his pleasures and using "thats all you want from me" as an excuse not to have sex with you.
-dont give if you don't get.
Well we had sex and he had an orgasm and quit. I'm getting so frustrated. I was thinking about getting a "self pleasure device" ha ha but I don't want to disrespect him. Would it?
Err... yeah, sounds like he really doesn't care what you get out of this. It's all about give and take. Get rid of this fool. You can find someone that cares about you AND pleasures you.
Oh, yes. ISneezeFunny said it. There are so many guys who want a partnership in bed. Dump him!
A self-pleasure device? No disrespect at all. Your body has needs, take care of it.
Thank you all so much. I'm actually thinking about moving back to Florida. Our relationship is nothing anymore and it's sickening. I have a lot of family that live in FL. I miss them and only my dad lives up here. I've got to get out of this cold place and get away from myself centered boyfriend. Thanks again!
Emm
Self-pleasure... I would have had that sorted ages ago! Goood for you and well done to not let yourself be abused by this loser
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xrayman
Well I did it. And let me tell you I am in a WAAAAAAY better mood now. Is there such thing as a sex addiction? I'm kind of serious. I imagine what sex would be like with other people (like the guys on the Bod commercial and sometimes people I've never even met or even seen! No lie, I've done that with people on this site. Is this a disease?) And I'm not just talking every once in a while, it's ALL THE TIME! And I feel bad because I feel that it is disrespectful. Also, I get so upset when I don't get it. Or when I do get it and I don't orgasm.. I really get mad! :mad:
I thought it was natural but my friends barely ever orgasm and they never get upset! How do they do it??
Yes sex addiction is like any other addiction. It is real.
I think you might be feeling bad about something that is a fantasy for you-it's okay provided you don't start to look for real participants and use them for sex... although *thinking*... haha
I haven't looked or acted on these feelings but sometimes I want to act on them. Like I feel like I should just find someone to cheat on him with. I won't do it ever. I love him and I wouldn't ever ever do it. But this is driving me crazy.
Stop beating yourself up.
Your boyfriend has been a pr!ck. Period.
Are you kidding me??
As far as I'm concerned, the woman should get the most attention first. It is harder for most women to reach orgasm than men, so its reasonable for the woman to "go first"...
Second, in doing this, especially if oral at first, a woman's body is more lubricated, more "lush", and more ready for intercourse...
Your boyfriend is a self centered jerk who doesn't deserve to be laid by you. Yeah, I know... harsh words... he deserves it.
Your fantasies are fine. Don't drive yourself mad. They are normal... and even a "survival instinct" in the case where you are with a lazy jerk who can't spend the time to get you off.
OK. Maybe I'm a little too pi$$ed off, but it angers me when a woman who has passion and desires is just mind-fuc*ed by a guy who can't be bothered to spend a minute on someone other than himself.
Honey, you are fine. You are right to be upset. You are right to be thinking about others. Its OK. Really.
Your friends should demand more for themselves.
Yes, it can be a lot harder for a woman to orgasm. The female body isn't designed for the best stimulation... whereas the man's errogenous zone can be found while blindfolded and wearing oven mitts... not that I'm into that sort of thing. Or not...
Anywhoo... the point is you are not out of whack.
He's a jerk.
You know sexual satisfaction is important to you, no matter what your friends are willing to settle for.
Good for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kp2171
I love your passion! I think I "out-sex" (for lack of a better word) a lot of my past lovers. I don't understand. I thought it was natural to want this. The best sexual relationship I was ever in, was the longest relationship yet. 2 1/2 years (hey you got to remember I'm 20 years old) Even when we broke up we still called each other all the time for a little fun time. ;) We experimented with everything. We got books and would surprise each other with different moves. We'd experiment in different places. i.e. on the beach, and not only on the beach but him holding me up while walking down the beach. Sorry if that was too graphic.
I just don't really get it. Has he really just lost his drive? Or maybe he just is bored with me...
I don't know. :(
You are still asking if it is you-ITS HIM he's arrogant and selfish.
Does he ever give you oral first? Without asking... just does it?
When he does can he get you off? Is he too fast? Do you give him directions? Can you lose yourself in the moment ever when he's going down on you?
Do you know what you like, sexually?
Are you open to talking to him about what your desires are? What about his desires... outside of your going down on him all the time... anything he has expressed?
I might think he's a jerk who doesn't have the passion needed to pleasure you... but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe its just bad connections or communucation.
And sexual satisfaction starts with your knowing what you like, want, and need. If you don't know this, and communicate it, how can he?
There is NOTHING sexier than a woman who knows what she wants sexually and demands it. Maybe its time to demand it.
If he fails to at least try, well... you get what you settle for, dear.
Personal experience is that some lovers are just more adventuresome that others...
Is that what's missing... the "danger" element?.
Disrespect. What constitutes disrespect. If you didn't hurt yourself, or them and didn't break anything? Whatever you did was harmless. There is such a thing as sex addiction. They even have groups SSA, sex addicts anonymous.Quote:
Originally Posted by Emm Lura
If you feel like it all the time, you probably have a very high sex drive. If you feel guilty, or are hurting others, then it's a problem. I used to have a "little black book" in college. If there weren't at least 5 guys I could call, and at least one of them could come over, I actively found more numbers to put on the list.
I have no idea why some women don't care! I can not understand it. However, they seem happy and centered. You are not. I would go ahead with the self-pleasure, and keep it to yourself. Find a guy who likes to do it right, several times a day. There are those who feel that sex is sex whether you climax or not. And then, there're people like us.
Don't ever be ashamed that you feel sexual. Don't compare yourself. Keep in mind, if it doesn't hurt you (use protection), or them (some guys aren't ready for a woman like you), or break anything (like a vow), then being sexual is right for you.
I will ask him to go down on me but he says "how about we 69?" I have had good oral but I cannot climax from it. It even feels better when fingers are involved but never an orgasm.
Our sex life for the most part is very boring. Don't get me wrong, I love when we actually do have sex but it's kind of routine now. I'll give him head until he's almost ready to come and then we will do the spooning position, (notice that I didn't mention any foreplay for me) and then I will make him get on top of me when I am laying on my stomach, then we will do it doggy style for a few minutes and then I either go backwards cowboy and then I will ride him until I climax (or lose it) and then he'll want doggy again so he can come. There is never any other positions. He's not open to a lot of stuff. (Anal, or even anal fingering during oral. Also, he's not he's not the best endowed if you catch my drift so we are limited on the posistions that we can do)
I'll tell him exactly what I want and he'll find some way out of it. I'm going to have to sit down with him again and stress to him the importance of sex for me. If he doesn't get the point then to the porn store I shall go to find a toy to satisfy those needs for me, and if he doesn't like it maybe it will spark his interest in sex back up.
I won't hurt him and cheat, it just isn't an option and I definitely won't be the factor in someone else cheating on their significant other. I don't really think that was what you were getting at but I wanted to clear that up.Quote:
Originally Posted by simoneaugie
Although I do fantasize about different people (I'm very very sexually attracted to our neighbor and I constantly imagine what it would be like with him) I wouldn't act on them.
I know what you mean about a little black book. I used to have a few guys on speed dial for such occasions when I worked at Hooters in Pensacola.
Also, I was wondering if it were natural to think about the same sex. I have experimented with a girlfriend, and as I mentioned earlier I cannot orgasm from oral or from a "hand job." Needless to say, that didn't work out too well. :( But still I am sometimes attracted to the kind of punk rock emo chicks.
You know, this is a LIL off topic, but you said he wasn't the "best endowed"...
At what length do you girls actually consider it... "well endowed"?
... the avg apparently is 6.5"
there is a multitude of guys out there that just freaked when they read that part...mainly because they're not that big themselves.
so what's the deal? does size matter?
me, personally, have not measured myself...nor do i really have an interest of measuring myself. maybe if i get bored one day...i might. i know that i'm not large...but then again, i'm pretty sure i'm not 3". So... yeah. There's that. Chew on that.. . the post, I meant.
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