Ask Me Help Desk - Terrible-two child

Terrible-two child

My grandaughter lives with me along with her mom (my daughter). The baby is going through the "terrible 2's" and she throws fits of anger and cries for no reason. When asked what does she want or what's wrong, she keeps on crying and screaming to the top of her lungs. She is usually a good baby, but these tantrums are getting more frequent and we do not know how to handle them. We have tried holding her while asking her, to ignoring her, to even giving a little spank on her butt, but she keeps getting madder and madder and nothing seems to help.
We want to neutralize her tantrums, but do not know what sets her off.
Any suggestions?
Thanks.

What I did to all 4 of my children was pick them up, put them in their room, and tell them that they can come out when they are in a better mood. The tantrums lasted about 2 weeks when they found they were not getting the attention they wanted.

My first baby was like that she was (is) my perfect kid. She use to throw tantrums about a dozen times a year for the first year or so and then I started wondering if she was having headaches or something because at that young an age they have no idea what a headache is to even try to tell you. Other than it being her not feeling well she just may be trying to get you to give into her.

We put her on "time out" and she keeps screaming and kicking and eventually we think that she might get hurt and give in. We would like to get the tantrums over to a minimum and over with quickly. It just breaks my heart to her her scream like she is doing now...

Well, you give in. You are doing exactly what she wants you to do and she knows that she will get her way.

Time out works for some, but not for others. I had to remove mine from stimuli... hence their bedrooms...

When some children get over stimulated they just can't handle it, hence the tantrum...

I put her on time out about 8 minutes ago... and she is still screaming and kicking. I don't even know what set her off, because she won't tell me. I tried getting her food ready and sitting her on her chair to eat... and she kept on crying/screaming. Her mom is giving her a bath and she finally quiet down... so I guess she will go to bed without dinner. But that bothers me, because she usually has a good appetite and eats her dinner, gets a bath and then goes to bed. I am very concerned that there might be something wrong with her, or is she just spoiled?

Time out should be adjusted to their age. 8 minutes is WAYYYYY too long for a 2 year old. One minute per year.

Have you taken her to the doctor for a checkup recently? Is it possible she may have an ear infection or something but can't convey this to you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by lrhall41

We put her on "time out" and she keeps screaming and kicking and eventually we think that she might get hurt and give in. We would like to get the tantrums over to a minimum and over with quickly. It just breaks my heart to her her scream like she is doing now.....

In my experience, if you give in even once the kid remembers and will not calm down because she is waiting for you to give in again. You have to be consistent if you want to change this. Don't put her in a room, place her in a chair facing a corner and set a timer, 1 minute for every year i.e. she's two so she gets a two minute time out. Every time she leaves the chair reset the timer. During her time out do not talk to her or even make eye contact with her, just place her in the chair tell her she's having a time out for 2 minutes so she can calm down and then ignore her. If she leaves her chair before time is up simply sit her back down without saying a word. When her time is up go to her, get down to her level so that you can look in her eyes, tell her why she had the time out, tell her to apologize and let her know that she will get another time out if this behavior continues. It worked for my two kids (ages 9 and 5) maybe it will work for you. Good luck.

Great answers. We will try them. Thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lrhall41

My grandaughter lives with me along with her mom (my daughter). The baby is going through the "terrible 2's" and she throws fits of anger and cries for no reason. When asked what does she want or whats wrong, she keeps on crying and screaming to the top of her lungs. She is usually a good baby, but these tantrums are getting more frequent and we do not know how to handle them. We have tried holding her while asking her, to ignoring her, to even giving a little spank on her butt, but she keeps getting madder and madder and nothing seems to help.
We want to neutralize her tantrums, but do not know what sets her off.
Any suggestions?
Thanks.

My daughter was perfect also except for these tantrums she started throwing. I Put her in her room and she can stay there until it is over. Once I did this a few times my daughter stopped it. IT was the only thing that worked. I felt horrible doing it but believe me if it gets worse you will have your hands full!