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I have a boyfriend, but me and him were having problems so I met up with my ex because we are still good friends but I ended up getting off with him, I felt so guilty I had to tell my boyfriend and now he won't talkk to me. How do I get him to forgive me? It was a mistake and I seriously regret it please help me xxbabybooxx:(
You have to pay the consequences on this one Miss Cheater. It will be a long time before he trust you, and that's if he ever speaks to you again. Have you learned a lesson?
Agree with Talaniman,not sure a cheat deserves to be forgiven.I always think of a cheat as a china cup.You drop it,it shatters,you try to glue it back together,but no matter how hard you try it never looks the same.Cheating cannot be reversed.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif Respect him enough now to just leave him alone. He will not trust you again, and I think he deserves someone who he can start a new relationship with.
Cheating in itself is bad, but cheatin with the ex is something you should not expect him to forgive or forget..
Sorry girl, you literally 'screwed' up here and I hope you learned your lesson.
Besides, if this is how you handle communication difficulties when a little problem happens with your BFs, then there is a lot you have to learn - you usually stay and talk it out if you really care - so what did that tell you?
That's life, no matter what age-group you are in, you'll get over it...
If you have apologized and were sincere, then you have done what you can do. You cannot force your boyfriend to accept your apology. Whether he forgives or not is completely his decision. Even if he forgives you, he may not want to stick around to see if this will become a pattern of behavior from you.
Can you blame him?
One thing, if he says he does forgive you and you two do get back together, do not keep apologizing for what you did. And do not let him hold that over your head forever. Once it is forgiven, it is done and life goes on. Rehashing old sins only make it worse. That means the trust will never be the same again.
1. The relations go through some stages babe. One of them is the power struggle. It's the stage where every partner wants power over the other, and here is where the argues begin. It's the stage where every partner won't take care to show his maximum and best behaviour to the partner, and here is where we act normally, by being ourself. It's the stage where the differences between partners are shown, and although the differences may not be so big, we are afraid to try to face those differences, adapt to our partner, and the new changes. Some partners are weak, and can't deal with these kind of situations. That's why this stage is called like the "divorc" stage, and where "mistakes" are made. These kind of partners are in fact more dependent and vulnerable, although they look out as more independent and more powerful, and once the relation has its downs, they can't face the situation, but give up without a fight and search for a "shoulder to cry" instead of being open, communicative and find a way to take the relation to the next stage. That "shoulder to cry" is mostly an ex, who now is the manipulative "supporter", and offers you the comfort and the short-time "happiness". The next day, mostly, you wake up in the ex's bed, and that's it. After that the old relation is dead. As you can see, you belong to these kind of weak partners, and you really need a lot of work with yourself. Its not that you are an immoral person or a cheater like you call yourself, you are just weak. But there is a long way for you to become "stronger" person and to understand how the relation works. You may have had a lot of relations, and I guess more than 10, but that was not an experience, or at least you never learned from your self-problem. All those relations in fact were nothing but "shoulders to cry", one after the other.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabybooxx
2. You didn't passed the "weakness" test, so you should better focus on yourself now and learn something from your situation, not your expartner. Your regret doesn't mean you learned, you regret because you lost someone.
Well... I did the same thing and he never came back to me but maybe this was supposed to happen. Things happen for a reason. Sorry and goodluckQuote:
Originally Posted by xxbabybooxx
My boyfriend lives really far away, and I don't get to see him that much it's really hard I've made mistakes but he loves me that much that he forgave me, but I don't know if I should continue this relationship I want to but I never get to see him and it's just so hard and I don't even talk to him that muchh anymore I really love him but I'm so confused please help xxbabybboxx xxxxxxxxx
Good evening...
It's sounds like you have a very heavy heart tonight, and for obvious reasons. When I see questions like this I can understand the pain you are in because I have been there. I'm not a relationship expert but I think I can give you some advice I found that worked for me.
Try to remember love is a word loosly used these days. I'm not at all saying you are not in love, because you probably are. However, you will find as you get older you begin to change and love takes on different shapes. Unfortunetly, it still hurts with age and if you can figure out how to make that go away you'd make milllions.
What I know about love is that if you really are in it than it will always be there. However, much like a plant it does need water to survive, but it can go with basic essentials to survive. Try to stop looking at having to make a decision on walking away or staying put. The reason; because you are forcing yourself to make a chose with no more information you have today, than you did yesterday.
Try instead to call him and take a step back from the relationship as a do or die to survive and agree to keep the relationship, more like friends, if that best fits. Then go and date, experience the world a little more without feeling the pressures of making life altering decisions, free of guilt.
Continue talking to him and sending e-mails or whatever the two of you do to stay a part of each others lives. When you can get together and visit you will slowly start to see that the relationship didn't need a huge life altering decision made to decide if it could, would, or will last the test of time. Our hearts do some of the work, time does the rest.
Rest a little easier tonight and give yourself a break. My mother used to say, "Kristin get off the cross somebody needs the wood." Such a true statement. Life is going to happen hon, you can either change with it and make the change so smoothly by not blocking yourself into restraints and limits and instead let it happen on it's own.
I promise you if you take the pressure off yourself, you will feel so much better.
Good luck to you...
. Ok, well, I don't think you should because you never know what he is doing right now, behind your back... but if you really love him, tell him that, and I promise that things will get a lot better if you just let go and don't worry about him... its not like you were going to marry him, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabybooxx
Is this the same boy you cheated on and he left. He forgave you should be enough. Now you want to get out of the relationship? Do so, Your to confused to be a good g/f right now.
Listen to your heart. If you don't want ot continue with the relationship than tell him. Be honest to yourself and him.
Good luck
Is it the same guy as in this post?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-162443.html
If it is, you should re-think this relationship as it is not a healthy one.
Wow... your right J_9... that's intresting!
Well, I got the idea from Tal, I just posted the link. I can't take the credit. :oQuote:
Originally Posted by mjl
Give him space. Right now he needs his 'Me time'.
Cheating sucks! Right now he must feel like he's inferior to your ex.
You should look at it as Why you cheated. Why you got off with your ex. Try and find a solution to those problems, and then just call your boyfriend, sit down with him, just talk to him. Tell him what you feel, and how sorry you are. Don't try and pin it on him though, like 'I cheated because you did this'. Better something like 'When you did this, I felt like this, and I know it's my fault and I shouldn't have done it but then I did it'
You may be sorry, but you've really hurt this guy. Just because you regret it, doesn't mean you deserve a second chance.
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