Ask Me Help Desk - Parents use drugs

I'm having a problem and I really don't know what to do. I'm 17 and live with my mother and stepfather. I absolutely despise the use of drugs, but both of them are and have been (for years) smoking weed in the house. It makes me sick, I'm so disgusted by it and by them. I don't want drugs in my home. I've made it known that I know they do it and it doesn't seem to matter. It's not every once in awhile, either. They smoke at least once a day. I even walked outside to talk to my mother on Sunday and it reeked of pot. My stepdad has a bag of weed, a homemade bowl, and rolling papers in his nightstand next to his bed. I love my mom but I can't stand drugs being used, especially in my own home. I can't go back to living with my father, and I'm scared that my mother will go to jail if I tell cops or anyone. I've explained that I hate it and they're aware of that. They just don't care. So what should I do? Should I call the cops, or... something else? I am so confused. Please help :(

Neither of them is likely to quit based on your concerns, they are both addicted. Calling the cops would cause problems that you are not going to like.

Whenever I hear the word disgust, I cringe. Your disgust may be real, but it won't help the situation. Disliking the smell, or their behavior is one thing. Judging them based on your reaction of disgust is counterproductive. All people believe that they are right. Even your mom and stepdad, even if they believe smoking pot is wrong, trust that their actions are sane.

If a person does not feel that their thoughts are correct, they change them so that they will feel sane. You used the "shoulds" as I've heard them called. Could have, would have, should have, won't, can't, can't stand. You can stand anything. It's a matter of making up your mind to do so. If you choose not to live with their habit, you can leave and stay with someone else. Or, you can report them to the police. The worst thing you can do is to should on yourself.

I should have perfect parenting. I should not have to deal with this. I should be able to convince them that it's wrong. Bull! Changing others is not your responsibility. Life is a constant tapestry of change, right down to the sub-atomic level. Take care of you. Position yourself so that you are able to flow with the changes. Prepare yourself for a prosperous life with those who share your values. Quit spending your time stirring the pot of "us and them."

Hold on until you turn 18 and finish high school. Then you can go on to college or join the military and leave their lifestyle behind.

My husband and I can't stand going over to his mother's because she smokes (legal) cigarettes. It stinks up the house and it destroying her health. It is her house, however, and she can live as she pleases. Your situation is complicated in that they are doing something illegal, but unless you want to live in foster care until your 18, you are kind of stuck.

Do you have an aunt or grandparents you can turn to?

I would try spending as much time at friends and relatives if I were you. I don't do drugs and I hate it when I am at a friends house and they all decide they are going to get high and I have to walk out or sit there and breath it. I choose to walk out.

I hate. I can't stand and they are disgusting are expressions that perpetuate cruelty to others while fooling ourselves.

If talking to your mom brings no action, and no one else can take you in, then for the next year, you will need plenty of air freshener. When you are grown and have your own place then you can make your own rules. Calling the cops will get them to stop smoking in the house, but where you end up?? Who knows. So keep your area smoke free. Push yourself to be independent and move when you can. Sorry I can't help more.

Smoking weed, getting drunk every night, many young people grow up with all sorts of parents with addictions

Are they providing for your education, food, clothing, and also unless you are paying the rent it is their house not your house.

So wait, turn 18 and move out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xunsinkablex

I don't want drugs in my home.

Hello x:

When YOU have a home, you can set the rules. But the people paying YOUR RENT are setting the RULES, and that's the way it should be.

Don't snitch on them. That's a really BAD thing to do.

excon

Quote:

Originally Posted by xunsinkablex

I'm having a problem and I really don't know what to do. I'm 17 and live with my mother and stepfather. I absolutely despise the use of drugs, but both of them are and have been (for years) smoking weed in the house. It makes me sick, I'm so disgusted by it and by them. I don't want drugs in my home. I've made it known that I know they do it and it doesn't seem to matter. It's not every once in awhile, either. They smoke at least once a day. I even walked outside to talk to my mother on Sunday and it reeked of pot. My stepdad has a bag of weed, a homemade bowl, and rolling papers in his nightstand next to his bed. I love my mom but I can't stand drugs being used, especially in my own home. I can't go back to living with my father, and I'm scared that my mother will go to jail if I tell cops or anyone. I've explained that I hate it and they're aware of that. They just don't care. So what should I do? Should I call the cops, or... something else? I am so confused. Please help :(

Are you being physically, emotionally, or mentally abused or neglected? Do you feel unsafe? Are you feeling ashamed of your mom? Yes, it is your home, too (but not your home solely), and we hear you loud and clear that you have zero tolerance or understanding of any kind of drug use whatsoever. Understood.

Now, if you were to take the weed out of the equation and discuss your mom and stepfather on behavior and responsibility alone, would you still be confused? In other words, is it the drug use that concerns you most, or their resultant behavior?