Ask Me Help Desk - Christmas surprise!

Hello all. I know I am still a newbie, but I hope you can all help me out. My story: On Christmas day, which right now is about 5 or 6 days, I am planning on flying out to my fiance's house (already got the ticket, know what I'm bringing, etc... ) to surprise him for Christmas, and for our 4 1/2 year anniversary (which, ironically, is on Christmas day!) Now what I need help with, and would really like to do is give him a reason, of something I need to do, just some good reason for why I won't be able to talk to him for a few hours... To help everyone else out some more, he goes to church from 8 or 9 in the morning until about 11am... I am not sure if he is going Christmas day, but it is a big possibility. I convinced him that I will not be going to my grandma's or any other family's house, because one, I won't be, and two, it makes him really sad... He is the sweetest thing -- he doesn't want anything happening, especially since he doesn't trust my family. (Hey, I don't either!) The thing is, I have no idea what I could tell him... and the only thing I've thought of that might work would be that I have to help out and clean, and I would have to let him go... but seriously, I don't think he'd buy it... Who really cleans on Christmas? Anyway, a second one would be that I have to go somewhere, which would really peak his interest because from what I know of, nothing, or almost nothing, is open. So, does anyone have any ideas? Because I need to work QUICK... I am going there in less than a week! This is the only thing I have left to figure out.. If you could all help me out I would greatly appreciate it because he is truly the sweetest guy you could ever come across, and I really want to make this a very special Christmas for him. I may not be going for too long, but I get to see him at least one last time before I can actually move down there with him. I apologize for making this so long, but I thought if you guys knew more of the story and what would be going on, it might help. OH! And one last thing is because I won't be taking a bus or anything from the airport to his house, I have it planned to either where his mom or sis will be picking me up... Which is awesome! Again, sorry for this being so long and I know I seem desperate -- but I am... Please help me make this a great surprise! If anyone has extra questions, go ahead & ask me! Thank you, and have a good day everyone!! :) :D

Please don't take this the wrong way, as I'm not trying to put your boyfriend down at all, but... I don't really understand why you need to give him a reason to not talk for a few hours?? I mean, a few hours is not a very long time. Is he so insecure or controlling that he doesn't trust you to be doing your own thing for a mere few hours, especially since it seems you live in different cities? Sorry, it's just that a red flag went up for me when I read that... also the fact that he said he doesn't want you with your family. I can understand your not liking them and not wanting to be with them on your own, but really it's none of his business whether you see them or not. It just strikes me as odd.

As far as an excuse for what you are doing for a few hours, a good one might be that you are helping out at a local soup kitchen, serving Christmas dinners, or delivering dinners to shut-ins as part of the meals on wheels program. Or you could say YOU are also going to church, or you are going to a friend's house for Christmas breakfast or brunch, and you will call him at a certain time (which will actually be your arrival time). Or you are simply going to sleep in late.

Good luck with it in any event. I hope you have a great holiday!

Quote:

Originally Posted by orange

Please don't take this the wrong way, as I'm not trying to put your boyfriend down at all, but... I don't really understand why you need to give him a reason to not talk for a few hours??? I mean, a few hours is not a very long time. Is he so insecure or controlling that he doesn't trust you to be doing your own thing for a mere few hours, especially since it seems you live in different cities? Sorry, it's just that a red flag went up for me when I read that... also the fact that he said he doesn't want you with your family. I can understand your not liking them and not wanting to be with them on your own, but really it's none of his business whether you see them or not. It just strikes me as odd.

As far as an excuse for what you are doing for a few hours, a good one might be that you are helping out at a local soup kitchen, serving Christmas dinners, or delivering dinners to shut-ins as part of the meals on wheels program. Or you could say YOU are also going to church, or you are going to a friend's house for Christmas breakfast or brunch, and you will call him at a certain time (which will actually be your arrival time). Or you are simply going to sleep in late.

Good luck with it in any event. I hope you have a great holiday!

In answer to your question, no he is not insecure or controlling, the only reason I'd want to give him a reason is because each & every day that we can, an example of today, we'll talk from like 3pm until 10pm (on a workday for him), and then days he has off usually from like 10am until 11pm... Long time to talk, I know, but we are so much in love that'd we'd most of the time if not always prefer talking to the other, and also we don't run out of things to say. I can understand how a red flag would go off in your head, but he truly is the perfect gentleman, and he knows that if I'm doing my own thing for a few hours that he doesn't have to worry. Despite the fact we've been together for over 4 years... we're still in love with each other very much so that we're even more in love now than the day we got together. And for the family thing, my fiancé has been a Christian his entire life, and I am a born-again Christian. We both don't like smokers, people the curse or just people that are rude in general, and it seems like most of my family is that way. (Not me, just most of them.) And to tell the truth, I prefer not seeing my family as they are some of the rudest people I have known. It seems I get excited when I think I am going to see some of them, and then each, and every, time, they let me down completely. I just don't like them, at all. And family I do like live in different states. Thank you for the suggestions, and even though one shouldn't stand out like this, I like the sleeping in late one.. (which I seem to do a LOT... ) Surprisingly I didn't do it today... Anyways, if you have any other excuses or if anyone else has an excuse I could use, please let me know. Thank you!

P.S. I know you weren't trying to put down my fiancé at all, but I can understand where you are coming from, and I just hope I have helped explaining what the situation is. He really isn't controlling or insecure -- he just wants to be with his baby. Why do you think we'll be getting married? ;)

By the way, orange... Thank you so much for replying so fast. I think that was the fastest response I've ever gotten from any of the threads I've submitted. Thank you!! :)

Yes that makes more sense to me now, cute_blue_fairy (very cute name by the way!). I am relieved he's not like that. I've had experiences with very abusive guys who start by wanting to know your every move and where you are at every moment of the day, and I was worried for you! So it's good to know that's not what's happening. Thanks for understanding and not being offended.

If you like the sleeping in excuse, use it! I was just thinking too that if you have an answering machine, voice mail, or cel phone you could leave him a special recorded message or text message (in case he calls to see if you are up), saying that you didn't sleep well the night before and are resting, and will call him as soon as you get up. Or, if you DO have a cel phone, you could just call him and talk as usual, just not let him know you are travelling, LOL. Although I think while flying you couldn't have the cel phone on.

Anyway good luck, I'm sure it will be a nice surprise!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cute_blu_fairy17

By the way, orange...Thank you so much for replying so fast. I think that was the fastest response I've ever gotten from any of the threads I've submitted. Thankyou!!!:)

You're welcome... I think I just happened to be online at the right time, but I'm happy you were pleased. :)

Hey, thanks for the compliment! I like the name I picked, too. Thank you for giving suggestions, and I like them all a lot! If I can, after the trip, when I get back, I'll let you know how everything went. Hope you will have a great day, and a very merry Christmas!! :)

First I will have to say, just don't talk to him for that time, if you wish,
Heavens you are only discussing a few hours.

Next I have always, (ALWAYS) warned about "big" surprises. They have ways to going bad very fast. Like surprise he decided to fly and surprise you,

Or surprise he got tickets for a big game last minute and went.

Or surprise he decided to go to some friends house since you did not come

Honestly and open communication is always best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

First I will have to say, just don't talk to him for that time, if you wish,
Heavens you are only discussing a few hours.

next I have always, (ALWAYS) warned about "big" surprises. They have ways to going bad very fast. Like surprise he decided to fly and surprise you,

or surprise he got tickets for a big game last minute and went.

Or surprise he decided to go to some friends house since you did not come

Honestly and open communication is always best.

Well, I thank you for your input, but so far this seems to be going off without a hitch. :) But one, I know he wouldn't be flying and surprising me because he is saving up for a car. The second thing is is that he doesn't go to any games. He'd rather be playing them or playing video games. (Which he is doing right now -- Prince of Persia: Two Thrones, I believe is the current game he is playing, and also, I know he won't be going to a friend's house because he is going to either his grandma's which is closer, or the one that is two hours away. Plus if he drove, he wouldn't make it because his car is old! That's why he is saving up for another one. :D But, I did try to talk to him about it, and he said if I wanted to surprise him, he told me to not tell him. So... That's what I am doing. But, Fr_Chuck, do you have any suggestions for excuses? Please let me know. Thank you! :D :D

P.S. Other than this, I have been completely honest with my guy.

Just go! What is a few hours. You mean to tell me you never missed a call from him or visa versa. If that is the case, cheers to you babe, you are one of a kind.

You have friends don't you?? Just say you are going to a friends house for xmas dinner - get them in on it and just say it would be incredibly rude and antisocial to be on the phone or chatting to him over the PC whilst you are there. I always put my phone on silent when I am out for a meal with friends. It's simple!!

You have friends don't you?? Just say you are going to a friends house for xmas dinner and that it would be incredibly rude & antisocial to to be on the phone to him whilst you are there. Get you chosen friend in on it. Then just give him a time you will call him. You can then call him when you are outside his house or when you land at the airport. I always put my phone on silent when having a meal with friends. It's simple!!

Hi,
The simplest answer of how not to talk with him for a few hours; just turn off your cell phone, if you have one. Don't answer any phone, if you have caller ID and know it's him.

Lots of different views and ideas - the best advice we can give you now is to take our thoughts and do what you feel is best. Only you can decide!!

Thank you all so much for your thoughts & responses. I know you all have given me plenty of ideas, and I thank you so much for helping me out here. I am leaving in two days and I am incredibly happy!! And I promise, I will let you all know how it went. Is that all right with everyone? Let me know! Thank you all so very much, and I hope you will all have a very Merry Christmas! :)

So how did the surprise turn out? Have a good holiday? Let us know when you get back! :)

Hey everyone. Yes, the surprise turned out great. I went into my guy's house, sat on the couch and his dad called him upstairs for him to "help him with something" and right when he saw and noticed me he just stopped in his tracks. It was great. He looked very surprised and I found out later on that while we were off the phone he missed me so much he didn't know what to do and he was sooo bored without me. So I made his day, and even though the next day he had to work, I still got to visit him and have lunch... and that morning before he left I got to just be in his arms and have us be together. And the funny part? One time he called when I had just arrived at the airport and he thought I was still at home... but I told him that something was messed up with our phones so we could only talk on my cell, so we did for a few minutes and then I let him go telling him I had to do some things. But yes, it was great and he was smiling and happy for the whole week.. I actually got back on Wednesday, but I was kind of sad after having to leave, but now I am feeling better. Thank you for all of your help, and I am very happy to say that I had an amazing time there, and everything went off without a hitch. :D Thanks!!

That's great to hear! Sounds like you were the best christmas present ever! So glad it all worked out for you :)