I was at the doctor early this morning, to find out why I've been so tired lately... and I am almost 10 weeks pregnant! This is a totally unexpected shock! I had PID when I was 17, have endometriosis, and plus have only one ovary. The doctors said there was no way I could have a child. I'm only 26 but I gave up on the idea of children a long time ago because of that... I was going to adopt when I felt ready. Also I didn't miss my period because I have a lot of problems with it and it's often irregular, even though I am on a low dose birth control pill (which I forgot to take a couple of times this month!). Anyway WOW!!

I'm writing on the relationship board because I'm not sure how to proceed with my partner now. We've been together for 2 years and we don't live together. He was with me at the doctor, and now wants me to move in with him, and get married. I do love him and want to be with him, we were planning on getting married "soon" anyway. It's just that we are both so busy with work that we never got around to anything specific. Plus I'm worried about us getting together "officially" just because I'm pregnant.

Wow in just over 6 months I'm going to be a mother! EEK!

Congrats! Wow what a big surprise. There are lots of times when people give up on the idea of having children, that is when it happens. Doctors are not always right. That is obvious.

Joe

Thanks Joe... I am super excited! I agree, I've met many people who've given up on having kids and then had them... I just never thought it was going to happen to me! And yeah doctors are sketchy. Actually my partner is a family physician, and he is just floored. Guess all those years of meidcal school didn't totally pay off, haha. Oh well it's wonderful and I really hope I have a healthy pregnancy.

Plus now that I'm going to be a parent, I'm thinking Stephen Harper's promise of giving money to parents with kids under 5 sounds really great, LOL!

Congratulations! I would say if you love him why wait to get married. Yeah, I understand it might seem because you are pregnant but if he treats you right and you were looking to do it "soon" anyway, why not? Anyway, that's my opinion.

Thanks jduke. Yes you're right, we should just get married, we WERE going to as I said. It's just all so sudden for us... but maybe it was the push we needed! We were talking here at my place all morning, but then he got called to the hospital, so I am bored and obsessed with the news and am hanging out here until he returns haha. He proposed this morning (not the first time), so I think when he gets home again I'll probably say yes. :)

Well, let us know. That will also be great news. I know what you mean by all of a sudden. My wife and I have 2 kids. When we first found out I was happy then I realized and thought "Uh oh, am I able to bring up a child?" I think I was shaking with nervousness for 9 months, lol. At least you know you have a board that will be supportive and you can ask questions to. As they will all tell you, make sure you don't substitute medical questions your doctor tells you with our suggestions. We might have experience with certain things but every situation is different. Your doctor will know best. Good luck and I will keep praying for you.

Well never get married just because of the baby, look carefully at why you have not already gotten married, sorry too busy really don't cut it, it takes half a day at the court house and an evening at the preacher if you do it with one, if not the 1/2 day at the court house covers the entire thing.

Next if you do, don't over spend, you are just as married in a 100 dollar wedding as you are in a 10,000 wedding.

But if you two really want to get married, and would anyway, then do it.

Good luck

Congratulations orange!

Oh, FYI, Harpers plan is $1,200 for kids under 6, not 5 :)

I do agree with the other posts, if you 2 were already thinking about getting married, then you should. The worst though is people who get married simply because of a pregnancy. But in your case, you had already talked about it, so that's not a problem.

And I agree on Fr Chuck, make sure you watch your wedding budget since the last thing you want to do is let the cost of the wedding skyrocket away from where you wanted it at in the first place.

Once again, congratulations orange

Thanks Fr Chuck and CaptainForest. Yes we really did want to get married, but we were going to wait a little longer, because we are both extremely busy... my partner especially. He's a physician and he's just finishing his residency, and wants to set up in private practice. And I just rented my first studio... I'm an artist. So we both have businesses, separate from each other. We thought we'd get married after everything was settled, and like I said in my initial post, I honestly didn't think there was any chance of me getting pregnant. We had planned to marry and then adopt. So this is a big surprise! Of course now I will probably only have my studio for a few months, and then give it up. I want to stay home with my baby. Maybe eventually I can have a studio at the house we buy together.

But we are going to get married now... it's just a little sooner than we had originally planned. Probably in January. Thanks for the advice of not spending much money on the wedding... we definitely won't. We both don't have much money at this point in our lives, and we want to spend money on getting a house. I don't believe in big weddings anyway. I don't even want an engagement ring. Just a wedding band, one for each of us, will be fine with me.

Thanks again everyone, I'll let you know when we get married! :)

Oh and thanks for the correction, Captain Forest, age 6 is even better! :)

At this point your best bet is to finish what you started and tie the knot. Children need both a mother and a father, full time. You'll need careful medical attention throughout the duration of your pregnancy. Hopefully you have a reliable ob-gyn. Good luck!

I commend you for your choice for it sounds like you both have thought it through. I also commend you for wanting to stay home with the baby. The baby will be blessed for that decision. It will be tough being on one income but if you do it right and don't over spend your income it'll be all right. There is no reason why you can't eventually set up a studio at your house and continue to do your artwork. He is truly blessed to find someone who is not caught up in the material things like a big wedding or even an engagement ring (which you do deserve to have). Again, I pray that God will bless your family. Congratulations! Keep all of us posted.

Thanks jduke... I've never been a "romantic" person and I'm not really into jewelry and big weddings, etc. I've always thought I was a bit weird because all my friends want those things, so it's nice to hear someone doesn't think I'm weird. Honestly I'd rather have a dishwasher LOL. I hate doing dishes by hand. And yeah I really, really want to stay home... I mean I'd go to work if I absolutely HAD to, but I don't really see the point of having a kid if I'm not going to raise it myself. Besides, artists don't make piles of money, so I'd probably be working just enough to pay for the daycare, which makes no sense...

I think we'll be fine. Alex (my fiance) is a family doctor, so eventually we'll have money from his practice. But he has to pay off his student loans first, so we'll have to be frugal for a couple of years at least (one of the reasons we were putting off getting married in the first place). Anyway thanks... you've made me feel less weird haha. :)

Thanks s_cianci. Yes I will definitely be seeing a doctor regularly... I'm worried because of various medical problems I've had, especially the endometriosis... I don't want to lose the baby. My current gyno is actually very good, so I'll hopefully stay with her if I can.

That is excellent that you have a good doctor and that you will make regular visits. I am so happy for you and I know it is very exciting. I agree with everybody else, you were already planning too get married. Just make sure it is what you both really want and not just because you have a baby on the way. It is funny how life throws surprises to us.. and yes hoping all goes well for the baby. Congrats on everything. That is a good idea when getting a house that you use a room for your art. Staying home is a good choice and remember we will always be here anytime you need somebody to talk to, advice , etc...

Joe

Quote:

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Originally Posted by orange

I was at the doctor early this morning, to find out why I've been so tired lately... and I am almost 10 weeks pregnant! This is a totally unexpected shock!! I had PID when I was 17, have endometriosis, and plus have only one ovary. The doctors said there was no way I could have a child. I'm only 26 but I gave up on the idea of children a long time ago because of that... I was going to adopt when I felt ready. Also I didn't miss my period because I have a lot of problems with it and it's often irregular, even though I am on a low dose birth control pill (which I forgot to take a couple of times this month!). Anyways WOW!!!

I'm writing on the relationship board because I'm not sure how to proceed with my partner now. We've been together for 2 years and we don't live together. He was with me at the doctor, and now wants me to move in with him, and get married. I do love him and want to be with him, we were planning on getting married "soon" anyways. It's just that we are both so busy with work that we never got around to anything specific. Plus I'm worried about us getting together "officially" just because I'm pregnant.

Wow in just over 6 months I'm going to be a mother!! EEK!!

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Congratulations, I'm sure your going to be great mother. You will experience physical changes, there might be some emotional ups and downs. They're only to be expected when your pregnant. I agree with s_cianci, it's good to keep in touch with your doctor so you can ask for pregnancy advice when you need it.

You should be happy that you have a man who loves you both enough to want to marry you. There are some men who choose to neglect their girlfriends because they don't want to deal with the responsibility of a child. Maybe you feel that he's marrying you for the wrong reason, but it seems to me that your boyfriend really cares for you and is ready for the commitment and responsibility. With your bond you will provide a stable environment for your child. I wish you and your soon to be husband all the best.

Thanks so much Joe!

PrettynPetite I am definitely NOT looking forward to the bodily changes... especially the prospect of gaining weight. Hopefully the weight gain thing is genetic though, my mother didn't gain much. Anyway thanks to you too.

I am way beyond excited and I hope I will calm down enough to go to sleep tonight! I'm going to try watching Degrassi the Next Generation (one of my favorite shows) to get my mind off everything...

Congratulations Im very happy for you. That is truly a miracle. I think when the two of you are ready to actually "get married" as far as time goes than do it. Don't rush to fast, the baby will be here married or not. Focus on your partner and enjoy your pregnancy. When the time is right, then get married.

Thanks very much bizygirl... cute cat in your picture! I have a siamese cat, and my partner has a golden lab. Luckily both animals get along well, and hopefully they will not be too jealous of the baby!

Hey Orange, Your welcome! I was in a similar situation Like you about 61/2 years ago. When I was twenty I had gotten pregnant w/my boyfriends(now husband) child, We weren't married but in my situation I wasn't ready to be a mom. But I wanted the baby and my boyfriends family decided to play the guilt trip that if we didn't get married then the baby would be born in sin, blah, blah. And how ashamed of me they would be. So we got married when I was 6months pregnant right after I had a life threatening condition. And I wasn't happy being forced to get married on someone else's terms. Mind you I was 20, and didn't have much a voice of my own. Like I said take it slow and enjoy your pregnancy, marrige is obviously important to you but don't let t cause too much stress. Im very glad I could be of some help.:)

My cat in the picture, her name is Abbie. She's very cute, she looks like an oreo cookie.:D