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-   -   Is he joking or is there some seriousness? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=162332)

  • Dec 13, 2007, 08:57 AM
    Avasean
    Is he joking or is there some seriousness?
    My husband and I just got married last Saturday (Dec. 8) and, while our sex life is GREAT, he still talks about a 2nd female. He says he is joking, but he says it so often, I can't tell if he is really joking or if there is some seriousness in the back of his mind, and he's just wondering what I'll say to it.

    Here's the thing though, I have MPD (multiple personality disorder) which I have learned to control. I can either choose to let another personality overtake my body or not. He really likes it when I change personalities during sex, because he says that each personality likes it a different way.

    Since I have allowed him to have sex with my personalities several several times, might I be the cause of his "jokes"?

    Please someone... I need some help before I start thinking that he is asking this because he doesn't want me anymore!
  • Dec 13, 2007, 11:51 AM
    Choux
    ??
  • Dec 13, 2007, 11:53 AM
    Tuscany
    Ok I am a bit confused by this
  • Dec 13, 2007, 02:09 PM
    cerisa
    People "joke" about what they think about. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not allow this. About your multiple personalities, tell him he can play with those.
  • Dec 13, 2007, 08:46 PM
    talaniman
    This is your first test, tell him no threesomes, and that's it, and be emphatic. He is testing your boundaries is all, don't take it personally. LUCKY DOG!!
  • Dec 14, 2007, 01:23 PM
    Avasean
    TALANIMAN... why do you say "lucky dog"?
  • Dec 14, 2007, 01:36 PM
    NeedKarma
    I'm assuming because your husband gets an interesting variety in his sex life.
  • Dec 14, 2007, 01:41 PM
    smoothy
    Common fantasies for most guys. Your average guy would love a 3-some with two women. A precious few women will allow this so if remains a fantasy for most guys.

    About your disorder I can't comment. I have zero experience in that area. Unless its something you are comfortable doing, then don't do it. He is free to ask, but you are under no obligation to do it. It has nothing to do with love, or lack of it.
  • Dec 14, 2007, 02:14 PM
    Lowtax4eva
    He's already trying to go down this road after ONE WEEK? If this is something you want then that's between you both but if you don't want this you need to make him understand that you won't do this... ever and he needs to stop bringing it up.

    I really don't like the fact that he is already trying to look elsewhere to fulfill sexual fantasies.

    Oh... and to answer the question, no he's not joking, he's hoping if he talks about it casually enough you will agree.
  • Dec 14, 2007, 02:29 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    This would have been mentioned prior to marriage, in normal relationships, men do not have extra women in bed with their wife's, and if they really want to, I doubt he loves you as much as he says.

    This is not something he needs to joke about and if it is bothering you, tell him so and that you don't want to hear it again.

    But as for as the personalities, many couples role play in bed, it is great to keep up some interest.
  • Dec 14, 2007, 03:22 PM
    SWtthng
    Every guy fantasizes about a three some. He is seeing how far you'll go and if your not open to it be honest and tell him. I don't see why he needs a 2nd women with your MPD its almost like he has all these different women bottle up in one so why would he need another. He's with a different person but whose is in the same body.
  • Dec 14, 2007, 04:08 PM
    talaniman
    He probably is making sure that he asks all the personalities to see if just one will agree to a threesome, my lucky dog comment was directed at the husband who has the luck to have sex with a variety of personalities, and doesn't have to cheat to enjoy it. My wife has only two personalities... YES and NO!!

    LUCKY DARNED DOG!!
  • Dec 14, 2007, 04:40 PM
    N0help4u
    Again I think talaiman hit the nail on the head. He probably might want to see if one of your personalities would go for it... but then if THEY did wonder what he would do if YOU caught THEM!?

    Joking back ask him, "who'd you have in mind?" to see if he might tell you if he does have somebody in mind.

    Often when people joke about something on any regular basis it is the desire of their heart but they don't want to cause conflict if the other person isn't going for it.
  • Dec 17, 2007, 05:57 AM
    smoothy
    Don't be upset by it... I've encouraged my wife to be open about her fantasies. It doesn't mean we will ever carry them out. But that we can discuss them with each other. Sure most guys fantasize about that... he might have just been tossing that out to see if you might be interested.

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