I have a five year old autistic son. His father has not seen or made contact with him in over two years nor has he paid child support. We separated when my son was a year old and it ended badly. Since then he has moved frequently to different states(without telling me) and has made no effort to finacially or emotionally support our child. I do not want this man in my sons life and I'm fine with not receiving child support because that means he won't be around. However I am afraid that if something would happen to me he would be able to come take my child. My son has autism and adhd and he is not educated about either. He also lives in a different state and it would be devastating for my son to be moved away from his family with a someone he does not know. I want to file for abandonment if that is legally possible but I'm not sure what the laws are or how to go about it. Please help.

What you want to file for is termination of parental rights. Abandonment would be the reason. However, the odds of you getting it are not that good. Generally, termination is only granted where there is someone waiting to adopt or the father represents a danger to the child.

What I would be more inclined to recommend is that you make a will providing for guardianship of your child.

Can I legally do that even though his biological father is alive? Wouldn't he be able to fight that in court if something were to happen to me? I do have someone in my life and marriage has been discussed but this is my child and I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for that yet(him adopting)

You could also file for sole custody, though custody battles are very ugly sometimes.

Nevertheless, if this hasn't been done already, you'd have a pretty good chance of winning sole custody of your son, considering that his father has already been absent from his life for this long and seemingly has no interest in becoming involved. If you were to win full custody of your son then I do believe it should be up to you [in a Will] as to who to assign guardianship to in the case that something should happen to you and you are no longer there or able to care for your child.

I have a son with special needs and could not file for guardianship until close to his 18th birthday. The guardianship has to be established before the child turns 18 or else the child becomes a ward of the state. But I was told this could not be done until at least six months before his 18th birthday. My attorney also told me to, when making out my will, to include a "Special Needs Trust" for my son, with provisions for care and monies set aside for his care.

Your best avenue is to contact an attorney who works with guardianship and special needs.