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-   -   Ok guy trouble? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=161410)

  • Dec 10, 2007, 07:32 PM
    nancy102
    OK guy trouble?
    Of here it goes. I met this guy through family which I really liked which I knew he liked me to but he had a girlfriend at the time. He was a total surprise to me. I had just got over someone and I though I was never going to feel connected to anyone else well I was wrong. A couple months had passed and I found out he broke up with his girlfriend. I wanted to contact him but I felt weird when you meet a guy through family I felt I didn't wans the whole family getting involved. So I else him without telling him who I was.
    This was going on for about a week. I crazy friend of mine gave me his information. I later found out she was pranking him the same time I was information him. She was also pranking another friend of mine. Well I finally gave him my number and he figured out who it was. He is a cop so when I gave hm my phone number he traced it. When we spoke he asked me If I was pranking him. At that point I figured out who it was. This is where I made the mistake I should have just told him the truth. How do you explain this to a guy especially someone who doesn't;t know you well that your crazy friend was pranking him. . He also said why didn't I just call him he would want to talk to him. I told him I was scared that he might say something to his family. He said he wouldn't have. Anyway we ended it there. I tried calling him twice after that to explain what really happened but I kept chickening out. The third time I was ready but he was so mad at me. He alsotold me his girlfriend would get mad at him for talking to an girl.. I hung up after that . I couldn't talk to him when he was so mad at me.The next day his mom called me and asked what happened. She also told me that she knew I could never prank him. I explained what happened and she said she had a feeling that it wasn't;t me. After that she went on to tell me that he really liked me and also that
    He has a girlfriend that he has been going back and forth for 10 years. I was in shock after that we hung up gracefully. My question is I want to contact him one last time and tell him the whole story once and for all. I'm so upset that we ended it that way for a big
    Misunderstanding. I just want to explain it to him and end it there. How do you think I should do it and how should I put it. My fears get me in trouble sometimes. I want to explain everything but I get scared when I picture myself doing it.. Thank you
  • Dec 10, 2007, 10:09 PM
    jrebel7
    Each individual handles situations differently. My best friend for years and years and I, almost never handle situations the same. We respect our differences because we know each of us are different personalities, so the following is just a suggestion, if it fits and feels comfortable do it, if not, perhaps someone else will have an idea that would better suit your way of handling things.

    There are some things I don't understand in your story such as why your friend had his information and you didn't and I guess I just don't get the pranking thing your friend was doing if wanting to know someone.

    Let me say first that I think it is great that you desire to clear the air with him. That says to me that you respect yourself and him and want him to see the real you. I can see how things got a little weird during the pranking thing since others were involved.


    First step:
    Write or type it all out, exactly what you would want to tell him if you had the opportunity face to face.

    Second step:
    Edit the letter. Make it concise but heart felt. I would make it clear that you did not realize he had a current girlfriend when you contacted him. That you respect that but just wanted him to understand what really happened. That things just got really confused and you didn't feel you had given him a clear picture of what happened at that time. Thank him for reading the letter and sign your name. Be sure to put your return address.

    Third step: I would not discuss this with a lot of friends, and especially not with pranking friends AT ALL! :) Read it, reread it, read it, reread it. When you feel you have said what is in your heart but keeping it all above board, in terms of just not wanting him to have the wrong impression of you and not expressing a lot of emotion or desire, then the BIG DECISION.

    Fourth Step: Decide if you wish to say these things to him or send the letter. If you send the letter, send it to where you know he would get it personally and not his girlfriend. Perhaps sending it registered where he would have to sign for it, that way you know he received it. At that point of putting it in the mail, try to just move on. If he is an understanding and caring person, I believe he would contact you to just let you know it is resolved (whether it goes anywhere else or not... it might later) and that he understands and appreciates you explaining it. You can thank him gracefully and then you would have your dignity back. I feel you perhaps feel you lost a little of that during the confusion.

    If you choose to say these things to him, realize that if you are nervous, you might deviate from your intention and say things out of order that would leave you feeling bad again.

    I think the whole purpose of doing any of the above is to restore to you, what you feel got lost in the whole confusion time of events and conversations. What he chooses should be secondary. If you feel good about you, good will follow.

    It would be easy to just say to you, it is his loss that he didn't or doesn't give you opportunity to share what really happened. But as I read you post, I just felt this was something that needed a little thought put into it. I wish you the best in this.
  • Dec 11, 2007, 09:34 AM
    talaniman
    I so hope you can drop this and move on with your life. Its such a small thing and doesn't deserve to be made bigger. Give the guy the benefit of a doubt, that he can figure you meant no harm.
  • Dec 11, 2007, 11:35 AM
    lhemilie202
    I would not send anything at all he may get even more mad what if his g/f saw it or found out that would probably start a huge ordeal with them and you shouldn't want that I don't think the situation is on that needs explaining I know to you its closure but you should respect the fct he is involved how ever messed upthere situation is or not life is to short to worry about the small stuff I'm sure that he is probably over it and not thinking about it like you are guys are simple they don't sweat over small stuff like that anyway
  • Dec 13, 2007, 12:09 PM
    nancy102
    Hi my friend pranked him so I could look bad in his eyes. She is nuts..
  • Dec 13, 2007, 12:25 PM
    mafiaangel180
    If his mom called you, and you explained it to her... I'm sure she explained it to him. So there is no need in bothering him anymore with it. He will just see the whole thing as childish, so I would just let it go.

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