Ask Me Help Desk - How to get over cheaters

About 6 months ago I got married and I thought that we were the picture perfect couple. The summer before last my husband and I were not really anything serious we were just having a lot of fun together. When I came back for the summer everyhting turned around and him and I started to get really serious. In the middle of July I found out that he had cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend before I had got home for the summer. I was really really hurt by it but I loved him felt like it was kind of my fault because before I went back to school in April I wasn't really sure if I wanted to be with him or not and she is a total slut and would do anything to get back with him. Anyway I decided that I was OK with it and that we could move on. But two weeks befores our wedding she tells me that they had been sleeping together May, June and July and the only reason that it stopped is because he told me about the may thing and then stopped talking to her. Now we are married and I am soooo hurt that he lied to me because I told him that I wanted to know everything and this skank got to tell me. He told me that he didn't tell me because he was affriad that he would have lost me, which is ture and that he didn't think that I even cared about him and that I was way to good for him so this was his defence for when I went baeck to school. He said that he would have never got back with her and I believe him because I was reading the text that is how I found our about the first time. But I have to see her all the time and I don't know if I love him anymore. I just need help on how to move on, I feel like my heart was riped out and is still gone. I just need some help on what I should do and how to get over her. It is like I am obessed with her. ANd I hate her more than anything and the worse part is, is that I hate my husband more then anything. Please help!

P.S. I have tried everything I can to get over this and everyone tells me that I have to but I just can't I am way way to hurt about~ Please Help!! Any advice will help!

Oh yeah no one really knows about it expect my family so I look like this crazy person who just hates his ex-girlfriend and I don't want anyone to know because I am so hurt and embrassed. And to top it off, she is UGLY and a FAT and there are so many people that have said to me, "I can't believe that you are dating him, he is not at you level" but I love him so that didn't matter to me, but when I see her it makes me feel like because she is so gross. I feel sooooo bad about myself and I want to love him again like I did. Please Please HELP~

Welcome aboard, NYCG
You should post this on the Relationships page to get it more noticed.

It always *amazes* me how many woman will hold against the 'other woman' what it took two to do. Although I understand that you may have talked it through with him to the point you could find some forgiveness for him. If he is serious about never cheating again and you are working to get back together then you need to forget about your thoughts and feelings toward her or you will never get over it.

I don't know how to put it on the relationship page but I would like to. I also know that it is wrong not to like the girl. In my opion she was just trying to get her boyfriend back. I know that but when everything was said and done and I knew about some of it she was still trying to call him and text and then she made a huge seen at the bar. And I did try to talk to her but she is one of those girls that thinks that her don't stink and in reality no one can stand her. Anyway I still need lots of help. One of my problems is that I am hate her soooo much and I don't think that it is fair that I don't hate him as well. He was the one with the girlfriend aka ME and he did it too. And he says that she came on to him and I said so you had to sleep with her. I just need help in what to do I know that he was in the wrong and I want love him again but I can't at all~

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCgal

I don't know how to put it on the relationship page but I would like to. I also know that it is wrong not to like the girl. In my opion she was just trying to get her boyfriend back. I know that but when everything was said and done and I knew about some of it she was still trying to call him and text and then she made a huge seen at the bar. And I did try to talk to her but she is one of those girls that thinks that her don't stink and in reality no one can stand her. Anyways I still need lots of help. One of my problems is that I am hate her soooo much and I don't think that it is fair that I don't hate him as well. He was the one with the girlfriend aka ME and he did it too. And he says that she came on to him and I said so you had to sleep with her. I just need help in what to do I know that he was in the wrong and I want love him again but I can't at all~

You've been moved. (Now my first post looks silly)

N0help4u is correct: move forward and don't cling to the past.

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