Originally Posted by kp2171
i never give the short answer. i will try.
i really dont think its you at all.
there, thats the short answer.
mental? (here i go with the talking)... sure. i think its common to have a mental lag. i have a beautiful, sexy wife of 10 years. i know what she looks like naked, smells like, tastes like, etc. i know her best tricks, what she wont do, what she does better than anyone before. the mystery? a little bit gone, its true. thats half the fun of the chase.
but what does that mean? well hell... when i was 14 years old a bus ride to school would give me a hard on that could penetrate steel. you laugh... im telling you the Truth. them potholes mightve ticked off the driver, but that bounciing around just was too much.
now, at 36, i could probably ride a bus all day and not think about my pants once.
i told you i never give the short answer.
so you mentioned you hoped it wasnt mental... sure it could be a little... but i really think theres other underlying factors.
as much as i might have "been there, done that"... i still like to go there and do that! i am still attracted to my wife and still am as interested as ever.
in my case, ive had sexual drive issues once in our relationship. i was depressed. changed jobs only to not get the job i quit for, young baby in the house, lots of stress. big depression. not a recipe for a barry white song.
and on her side, my wifes had a lower drive, and lower response, when tired and exhausted.
so i think the above suggestions are all good. knowing is good. talking to a doc is good. you can work with the truth, whatever that is.
steel piercing boners are wasted on snotty lil 14 year olds who dont know a vulva from a volvo. oh yeah, im bitter.
but as long as he seems interested in you... i think you have a lot to work with. when im at my best, it doesnt feel the same as when i was 20. doesnt mean it isnt good... but i agree with you... pauses in sex, to change postition for ex, mean a different thing now. sometimes a little "refractory period" of slowing down the action for a few minutes and then picking up where we left off is better than assuming i can change directions in stride...
so it takes a little more work now and patience. ok. still better than a metro pass anyday. =)