Ask Me Help Desk - Changing erections

I have noticed that my husbands erections have been changing in the past year or so. He is 35 and is just VERY recently on HBP medication. My question is... do men's erections just change with age? Sometimes they are very strong and sometimes they are not. Sometimes it takes a long time and sometimes it doesn't. A few times we will be having oral sex and when we change positions to have sex he will lose his erection a little. I know with his HBP meds he has to urinate a lot and if he has to go, not much will go on down there. It used to be that I could just play with him a little and he would get hard, but recently it takes a lot more like maybe oral. We have been together since we were 17 so I've been with him when the breeze would blow and he would get a boner and I know he's past that(darn it!). But I am hoping this may just be an age thing and not mental or something else physical. Please help!!

It's probably just an age thing, I'm fairly sure. If it was a bad mental or physical problem, he would not be able to get or maintain an erection mostof the time. Also, it may just bethat his body is changing and not even anything to do with age.

Unless he stops getting erections or can rarely ever get an erection, I think you should just try to help him out a little and then enjoy yourselves. ;)

Blood pressure medications can affect erectile function. As far as age, the male body produces a hormone that inhibits blood flow. This is what enables an erection. Some men begin producing less and less of this hormone as they get older. I very much doubt that the problem is mental. It used to be thought that erectile disfunction was all in the guy's head. Not true, it's usually that hormone or stress or exhaustion or BPM. Are you comfortable talking to his doctor about the BPM? With your husband's consent of course.

Quote:

Originally Posted by simoneaugie

Blood pressure medications can affect erectile function. As far as age, the male body produces a hormone that inhibits blood flow. This is what enables an erection. Some men begin producing less and less of this hormone as they get older. I very much doubt that the problem is mental. It used to be thought that erectile disfunction was all in the guy's head. Not true, it's usually that hormone or stress or exhaustion or BPM. Are you comfortable talking to his doctor about the BPM? With your husband's consent of course.

He actually talked to his doctor about the meds and he didn't seem too concerned with it. The doctor I mean. My husband voiced my concerns about him maybe losing his ability to get erections and he said it is not something he's worried about with the med he is on. But on the other hand I don't think my husband even thinks his erections have changed. I guess maybe I would notice it more since I'm down there? Do you think it's right if I talk to the doctor about his erections changing? I don't want to hurt my husband or bring on an insecurity in him. I am bothered with him only wanting sex once a week too. Do you think that has anything to do with this?

Has he had his prostate checked?

Good point, prostate problems can lead to ED.

HBP medication is know to effect erections. He may want to talk to his doctor. Perhaps a different medication or a lower dose of what he's currently on is in order.

I never give the short answer. I will try.

I really don't think its you at all.

there, that's the short answer.

mental? (here I go with the talking)... sure. I think its common to have a mental lag. I have a beautiful, sexy wife of 10 years. I know what she looks like naked, smells like, tastes like, etc. I know her best tricks, what she won't do, what she does better than anyone before. The mystery? A little bit gone, its true. That's half the fun of the chase.

but what does that mean? Well hell... when I was 14 years old a bus ride to school would give me a hard on that could penetrate steel. You laugh... I'm telling you the Truth. Them potholes mightve ticked off the driver, but that bounciing around just was too much.

now, at 36, I could probably ride a bus all day and not think about my pants once.

I told you I never give the short answer.

so you mentioned you hoped it wasn't mental... sure it could be a little... but I really think there's other underlying factors.

as much as I might have "been there, done that"... I still like to go there and do that! I am still attracted to my wife and still am as interested as ever.

in my case, I've had sexual drive issues once in our relationship. I was depressed. Changed jobs only to not get the job I quit for, young baby in the house, lots of stress. Big depression. Not a recipe for a barry white song.

and on her side, my wife's had a lower drive, and lower response, when tired and exhausted.

so I think the above suggestions are all good. Knowing is good. Talking to a doc is good. You can work with the truth, whatever that is.

steel piercing boners are wasted on snotty little 14 year olds who don't know a vulva from a volvo. Oh yeah, I'm bitter.

but as long as he seems interested in you... I think you have a lot to work with. When I'm at my best, it doesn't feel the same as when I was 20. Doesn't mean it isn't good... but I agree with you... pauses in sex, to change position for ex, mean a different thing now. Sometimes a little "refractory period" of slowing down the action for a few minutes and then picking up where we left off is better than assuming I can change directions in stride...

so it takes a little more work now and patience. OK. Still better than a metro pass anyday. =)

Hello Stac:

Life is sooooooo much better since Viagra. Not only does it make me rock hard, when I come, it's greaaaaaaaaaaaat! Yes, even greater than BEFORE.

I don't have an ED problem... But, like your hubby, I've slowed down a bit. I'm 64. As long as your husband is healthy, in my view, it makes NO difference WHY he might be slowing down, as long as there are pharmaceuticals to counter it.

In fact, I know many YOUNG men who use it because it's such a great enhancement, even when it's not needed.

excon

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Has he had his prostate checked?

No he hasn't, but the doc didn't even mention that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by s_cianci

HBP medication is know to effect erections. He may want to talk to his doctor. Perhaps a different medication or a lower dose of what he's currently on is in order.

I noticed this with him long before he was diagnosed with HB. He's only been on meds for about 3 weeks. It's not that he can get it up. It just takes a lot longer and sometimes doesn't seem as hard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

i never give the short answer. i will try.

i really dont think its you at all.

there, thats the short answer.

mental? (here i go with the talking)... sure. i think its common to have a mental lag. i have a beautiful, sexy wife of 10 years. i know what she looks like naked, smells like, tastes like, etc. i know her best tricks, what she wont do, what she does better than anyone before. the mystery? a little bit gone, its true. thats half the fun of the chase.

but what does that mean? well hell... when i was 14 years old a bus ride to school would give me a hard on that could penetrate steel. you laugh... im telling you the Truth. them potholes mightve ticked off the driver, but that bounciing around just was too much.

now, at 36, i could probably ride a bus all day and not think about my pants once.

i told you i never give the short answer.

so you mentioned you hoped it wasnt mental... sure it could be a little... but i really think theres other underlying factors.

as much as i might have "been there, done that"... i still like to go there and do that! i am still attracted to my wife and still am as interested as ever.

in my case, ive had sexual drive issues once in our relationship. i was depressed. changed jobs only to not get the job i quit for, young baby in the house, lots of stress. big depression. not a recipe for a barry white song.

and on her side, my wifes had a lower drive, and lower response, when tired and exhausted.

so i think the above suggestions are all good. knowing is good. talking to a doc is good. you can work with the truth, whatever that is.

steel piercing boners are wasted on snotty lil 14 year olds who dont know a vulva from a volvo. oh yeah, im bitter.

but as long as he seems interested in you... i think you have a lot to work with. when im at my best, it doesnt feel the same as when i was 20. doesnt mean it isnt good... but i agree with you... pauses in sex, to change postition for ex, mean a different thing now. sometimes a little "refractory period" of slowing down the action for a few minutes and then picking up where we left off is better than assuming i can change directions in stride...

so it takes a little more work now and patience. ok. still better than a metro pass anyday. =)

Thanks for a very real and reassuring answer. It helps to know its not always the same for all guys. I don't feel as though he doesn't want me ever it just doesn't seem like sex is as big as a priority for him as it is me. And that's tough to swallow.