Ask Me Help Desk - Would I be able to trust him again?

My boyfriend an I have been dating for two years and well so far its being kind of great =/ like 6 or 8 months ago, I found about him texting this other girl who happened to be one of his ex I guess they ran into each other at the gym and she gave him her #. The text were not just any friendship text. She will call him names like "baby", "honey" and he will do the samething. He says that he never did anything wrong, that it was all just texting, and playing with her head since he is one of those girl who he calls "attention whore". Anywayrs, I think that just by doing the texting thing, is enough to be consider cheating since, he has disrespected me and my feelings, I don't know, am I over reacting? He did this like 4 times, the first time I found out about it, I talked to him about it and I thought he will understand, but no, he did it again three more times. It was on the fourth time that I decided to end everything with him. I stopped talking to him, he texted me and told me he was sorry and that he didn't mean to hurt me, that he was an idiot. I decided to give him another chance. I know he did what he promise, she was out her life, but the insecurity still there. I want to trust him again, before all this happened, we had a good relationship. It's being almost 8 months since this incident happened. I have forgiven him, and he is trying to gain my trust back, but like I told him, its hard to forget.

Well, you don't trust him. And I would say you are right not to. He sounds like a player. Seriously, why stick with a guy who calls his ex "baby?"

I think your over-reacting big time. Texting a girl is NOT cheating, especially if it is an ex. I think he should have told you thought, it would have gone over smoother. he probably thought you were going to get pissed.

Sometimes girls and guys remain friends after a relationship, just cause they talk does not mean they are up to anything, they r the past for a reason I guess. Tell him how it made you feel, tell him you trust him and let it go. If these things aren't kept in check, they become relationship killers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandr4m

My boyfriend an i have been dating for two years and well so far its being kinda great =/ like 6 or 8 months ago, i found about him texting this other girl who happened to be one of his ex I guess they ran into each other at the gym and she gave him her #. The text were not just any friendship text. She will call him names like "baby", "honey" and he will do the samething. He says that he never did anything wrong, that it was all just texting, and playing with her head since he is one of those girl who he calls "attention whore". Anywayrs, i think that just by doing the texting thing, is enough to be consider cheating since, he has disrespected me and my feelings, i dont know, am i over reacting?. He did this like 4 times, the first time i found out about it, i talked to him about it and i thought he will understand, but no, he did it again three more times. It was on the fourth time that i decided to end everything with him. I stopped talking to him, he texted me and told me he was sorry and that he didnt mean to hurt me, that he was an idiot. I decided to give him another chance. I know he did what he promise, she was out her life, but the insecurity still there. I want to trust him again, before all this happened, we had a good relationship. It's being almost 8 months since this incident happened. I have forgiven him, and he is trying to gain my tust back, but like i told him, its hard to forget.

Texting ex's isn't really cheating . But, its not really appropriate to call them "baby"or "honey". He should have told you and been honest about it. But, then again you have to admit us girls over react BIG TIME. Some guys just choose not to tell there girlfriends anything because there scared were going to think there cheating or doing something wrong. But, honestly if you have doubt and you don't even know if you can trust him then its not even worth it. Trust your heart and your instinct. Those we actually love and like are going to hurt us ither way it goes we just have to decide whose worth the pain and if it really is worth it all together

Quote:

Originally Posted by BMI

I think your over-reacting big time. Texting a girl is NOT cheating, especially if it is an ex. I think he should have told you thought, it would have gone over smoother., he probably thought you were going to get pissed.

Sometimes girls and guys remain friends after a relationship, just cause they talk does not mean they are up to anything, they r the past for a reason I guess. Tell him how it made you feel, tell him you trust him and let it go. If these things arn't kept in check, they become relationship killers.

If you text someone and lead them on by calling them baby etc then it is cheating especially with an ex. I agree that you can remain friends with an ex but your should keep it clean. Ex's don't always stay ex's.

Though calling your ex "baby" and "honey" isn't cheating in itself -- it is disrespectful. It could be a precursor to cheating. Some of you say it's cool to do what this guy's doing. Well then soon it's OK for this guy to hang out with his ex--since that's technically not cheating. Then before you know it, he's calling her "baby" while they hang out in a dark theater. But that's OK?? I mean, seriously people when does she draw the line, when her man and his ex are actually in bed together? Seriously, Sandr4m, if you feel disrespected, that is when you do something.

You can only give this time, and try to put this behind you. If you overeact and question everything he does now, then you risk destroying this relationship. Put this behind you, and get help with the process, if you need it.

I know a few guys that have said they will fed an attention seeking girl the baby, honey and so forth and not mean anything by it or they will do it just to make a girl feel good about themselves and these guys had no reason to lie to me cause they were never a boyfriend or even going in that direction. So I agree with BMI. BUT I would tell him that you do not appreciate him doing that because it is leading her on and IF he wants to be with her he can go for it right now otherwise you do not want it to create any problems with your relationship. Like Talaniman said give it time and watch for red flags.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandr4m

My boyfriend an i have been dating for two years and well so far its being kinda great =/ like 6 or 8 months ago, i found about him texting this other girl who happened to be one of his ex I guess they ran into each other at the gym and she gave him her #. The text were not just any friendship text. She will call him names like "baby", "honey" and he will do the samething. He says that he never did anything wrong, that it was all just texting, and playing with her head since he is one of those girl who he calls "attention whore". Anywayrs, i think that just by doing the texting thing, is enough to be consider cheating since, he has disrespected me and my feelings, i dont know, am i over reacting?. He did this like 4 times, the first time i found out about it, i talked to him about it and i thought he will understand, but no, he did it again three more times. It was on the fourth time that i decided to end everything with him. I stopped talking to him, he texted me and told me he was sorry and that he didnt mean to hurt me, that he was an idiot. I decided to give him another chance. I know he did what he promise, she was out her life, but the insecurity still there. I want to trust him again, before all this happened, we had a good relationship. It's being almost 8 months since this incident happened. I have forgiven him, and he is trying to gain my tust back, but like i told him, its hard to forget.

I'd a real big problem with a guy who would refer to a woman he is calling baby, as "attention whore". What does that make him?
At any rate he's you man, you know him. If you are sure he is no longer texting her or any other "attention whore", then get over it. You either trust him enough to stay with him or you don't.