Hi I am 18 and I have this boyfriend who is 21.
He keeps trying to have sex with me, I agree to it but as soon as we are undressed, I ask him if we can stop (before we even start).
I want to have sex with him but I don't know how it will feel or anything. I really want to do it with him but it's not working, once he got a girl about 18 and he said if it was OK if he had sex with her seen as I wasn't ready, I said OK, then he asked me if I want to learn. I said I wasn't sure so he let me watch them do it, ever since then he has been trying it harder with me, like he has been pushing me to the wall and trying to make sure he is on top, he also said once that is I don't have sex with him on christmas day he will leave me but I love him, he said I should get a trainer to teach me then I said OK but he said he would be my teacher so he got me a viberator and told me to enjoy myself I said OK then when he was about to leave he said he will help me use it so I got undressed and so did he then he started with it, then he started getting a boner and he rubbed it up my body, and then said he would be back later, to have sex what should I do?? :confused: :confused:

Dump him as this is not love, or respect on his part. He is manipulating you to get what he wants, and you had better say more than okay to his advances. You may think you love him, but the truth is you do not love yourself enough to not let him use you. That's not love on your part either. Better to wait for a real man, and in the meantime learn to love yourself.

Do not, NOT, have sex with this guy. How could a man, who loves a woman, go and get another woman to have sex with - in front of the woman he loves? Repeat that to yourself and see if you can make sense out of it, as I cannot make any sense from his actions.

He is very self centered and is just after the sex. If you gave in, would you two then be exclusive to each other? As he has not shown that getting another woman on the side would be a problem for him.

There is time enough to start a sexual relationship. When you are in the best relationship for you, you will know when it is right. Yes, you may have hesitations but not like this. Deep in your heart you know something is wrong - that is what is stopping you now.

Give yourself the best Christmas present ever - tell this guy to take a hike, that you do not enjoy feeling pushed against the wall about having sex. He is not respecting you by his actions or words. Good luck.

Run from this dog as fast as you can, he is not in love, he is in heat, he will use you, most likely give you some STD and move on to a new girl.

Most likely he is only putting up with this to this point since you are a virgin and he wants to score it.

And what on the name of this earth are you doing giving him permission to have sex with some other girl, does not show much love for him either

I make it a point not to offer subjective (or transference) answers to anyone, but in this case...

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop and listen to your gut. You wouldn't be posting here if you weren't concerned.

EVERYONE has a different natural rhythm in terms of exploring their sexuality. This guy is clearly not interested in doing this with you. He sure as H*LL does not deserve to share in your first experience.

Dump his A*S and NOW!

OH! And this whole thing about asking you if you want to learn by watching him have sex with another woman? He is SO full of s*it. It doesn't get more self-serving than that, and he's playing some very effed up mind games with you. AND his posturing CLEARLY indicates a propensity toward violent behavior. Leave this alone. NOW.

Don't wait for him to leave you by Christmas, please.

RUN AWAY!

I know everyone else has said the same but just in case you are still not sure. Run away and run fast. There are really nice guys out there that will respect you and move at whatever speed you want. They do exist and you will find one!

It might hurt to leave him but he will hurt you more if you stay.

Good luck, you deserve more.

You've waited 18 years, giving your virginity up when you don't feel ready and to a guy who is pressuring you makes no sense. Wait a little longer for the right guy and dump this one.

As all the others have said RUN RUN RUN from this guy. What a CREEP. He doesn't love you and is showing absolutely no respect whatsoever. He says if you don't have sex with him he will leave you? WOW he must really love you and respect your values.
And I really don't think you should ever get yourself into a situation with him again where you have all your clothes off. I would hate to see your next story on here being about Rape. It has the potential signs for that.

Don't have sex with that guy. It is OBVIOUS he only wants to have sex with you. How could you be OK with him having sex with another girl and watching if you care about him? RUN FAST.. Don't have sex with him.. you know it is wrong and that's why you keep stopping. Guys like this make me ill. Wait until you find someone you truly care about, then, that person will not mind and he will wait until you are 100% sure of it. If you have sex with him, I guarantee you will live to regret it.
Also.. I know you're 18.. but if you don't listen to anyone's advice here, and you do have sex with this guy, protect yourself.

yeah, def a wuddafxup moment there. I mean, what?!

by the way, where do you find random 18 year old girls that'll have sex with a dude with a girlfriend... in front of the girlfriend? Granted, it's not THAT hard to find them... but how do you even initiate that sort of offer?

hey, by the way... so I got a girlfriend... and she's not sure if she wants to have sex... so I was wondering if you and I could do it to show her that it's OK.. . right..

Yeah, run. Fast.

NO NO NO NO and NO...

This guy is an a-ho ho ho... he not in love with you he using you... as a boyfriend a partner to anygirl... us guys wouldn't have sex in front of our girlfriend in anyway... just to teach our girlfriend how to do it... it disrespectfull... and not right...

PLEASE listen to me and anyone else here... christmas is all about love and fun and being happy... please... you don't love him you think you love him but you don't.. so please give yourself a gift this christmas... a RUNAWAY FOREVER VACATION from this guy...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mseik

I make it a point not to offer subjective (or transference) answers to anyone, but in this case...

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop and listen to your gut. You wouldn't be posting here if you weren't concerned.

EVERYONE has a different natural rhythm in terms of exploring their sexuality. This guy is clearly not interested in doing this with you. He sure as H*LL does not deserve to share in your first experience.

Dump his A*S and NOW!

OH! And this whole thing about asking you if you want to learn by watching him have sex with another woman? He is SO full of s*it. It doesn't get more self-serving than that, and he's playing some very effed up mind games with you. AND his posturing CLEARLY indicates a propensity toward violent behavior. Leave this alone. NOW.

Don't wait for him to leave you by Christmas, please.

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Would it be possible to "Clean up" your language. Even though it is not spelled completely out. It still is not good conduct and should not be accepted.
Thanks.

Leave this jerk quickly. Can't you see he is only after your virginity. He doesn't love you, he loves SEX. And you are just going to be another knotch on his pistol handle. Think about this, he threatens to leave you if you don't have sex, right? o.k. when you do, and WE HOPE you don't, have sex with this jerk, he is going to leave you and search for another girl, or virgin. One other thing to consider here, when you witnessed him having sex with the other girl, did he have on a condom? Something to think about with all the stds running around out there.

Dear One,

You sooner should have asked us if you should bash yourself over the head with a cast iron frying pan.

You are a valuable member of society worthy of only the best. :)

Dump this guy as soon as you can. He cares only about sex. If he really loved you he would never have slept with another girl or threatened to leave you if you didn't sleep with him. Someone who loves you will tell you that when YOU are ready it will happen.

I think it's bad he slept with this girl in front of you. There are people out there who do that kind of stuff, but you're a virgin and that is not really the best way to learn. The best way to learn is to learn with someone who is sensitive and who loves you when YOU are ready!

He is using you and I bet you anything once you give him what he wants he will do you and dump you just like that! Don't give him the chance. He has no respect for you and you deserve respect! Dump him today and enjoy the holidays without this loser! Also get tested for STD and the HPV virus. Even if you haven't had vaginal intercourse, you can still contract STDs. I'm not trying to scare you, but since he has been with others and you have done other sexual things, you should get tested. You're probably OK, but you have to be safe.

Please dump this guy! That is no way for a woman to be treated. He is treating you as an object and you are so much more! Be strong and tell this loser to get lost!

It hurts to hear the truth, but all this guy wants is sex. He is pressuring you way too much. Has he been pressuring you about being committed to him? Probably not. How about to spend all your free time with him? Probably not. Look at all his actions.

I'm terribly sorry mowerman2468.

here's a rough translation for those "old schoolers".

def = definitely
wuddafxup... read it out loud. Slowly.
by the way = by the way
dude = guy
OK = okay

not sure how hard that is.

If someone threatened me with leaving if I did not do something, no matter what, I would drop them. No relationship can work off threats. Trust me, he will threaten you in other areas next. Dump him and get someone better.

Yes if you feel like it so go for it