It's been about 4 or 5 weeks now since my ex dumped me. I don't need to go into how much I loved her or how much I did for her, I'll skip that part. But basically I've just found out that she has got with another guy. I have no idea who it could be. I'm hurting so much.

Me. "Is it true your with someone else? If it is i really cannot, deep down, believe u could do that to me steph."

Her. 'Well ye it is true and to be fair I don't answer to you anymore'

Me. "Why r u making it out like im such a horrible person. I gave u that money back n u cudnt say thanks. and now u just throw everything back into my face. I just can't believe what your doing i really cant. What happened to 'i wudnt leave u for sum 1 else i wudnt do that to .' "

Her. 'I got wiv my boyfriend after you so what can you say to me? Nothing!'

Oh man. :(

Chris man, GET A HOLD OF Yourself!!

Correct me if I'm wrong but after you texted her "take me back" and she didn't respond THAT was your answer. Now how did it come about you finding out she had a man? Did you go looking under stones you shoud'nt have?? If not than fine, BUT that still does not explain messaging her to ask why. What good could possibly have come of it? What did you expect her to say? I know it sounds harsh but she is right y'know, she does not owe you an explanation into her feelings or actions.

ITs going to hurt, its going to suck for awhile, but this is IT, its OVER! Go heal and come back stronger. I said it before today, so its my theme of the day, US beingour own worst enemy not the girl orthe guy she's with... it's US. We don't listen to advice we should, we act on advice we shoudn't and then come here to find the answers to why this really blows. If we spent as much time thinking about us rather than them we would never be in this situation.

Get better bro, sorry about your girl.

As a girl I can only say that if she was a self respecting woman she would have talked to you to let you know where you were going wrong in her eyes... I personaly think a person should be given a reason as to why the other left... so as to be nice to the next girl/guy if the person knows what they did wrong maby they could fix it and the other person they get with don't have to go through the same thing its called "common courtesy to others"

I do also say move on I know love can be pain full I have 4 kids by 4 dads because when I got pregnant the guy who said "oh I love you and will be with you till the end" even after we discused us having kids ran for the hills and only after the children are born decied that they wanted back with me, so I know the pain of so called love, I do wich you the best and hope one day you find someone who can love you just as much as you love them, there is always someone out there you just have to look really really hard.

You have to realise your doing this to yourself, and need to let it go, and not contact her again. You will heal, we all do. It takes time.

She obviously already had this guy in mind when she dumped you. There's really nothing you can do about it now. Cut all contact with her, pretend that she doesn't exist any more and move on with your life.

I know how it is that you feel Chris. Finding out that the one that you still love is happy with someone else is so painful. I just wouldn't try to dig up any information about it. That will only make you feel worse. After finding out a couple of days ago about my ex and his girl talking marriage, it's all I can do to focus on what I need to be doing. There are some things that I think we are better off just not knowing. :(

She has move on and you need to do the same too. I completely understand that it hurts, but you can't hold on to something that is not there to hold on to. Don't put yourself through anymore than you already have. Let her go and in time you will heal and find someone who you can love and who will love you back.

Hey man, I know how you feel. It sucks. If I were you I would really just disappear. Listen, I know you don't want to hear it. I feel your pain. My ex has done things I would have never believed, but its not my fault. This is not our fault or your concern. You really need to go COMPLETE NC and disappear. She is not a nice person, that is cruel to do to someone you have been with. If you try to fish for info all your going to do is make yourself even more hurt, sad and depressed. Let her go, she is not worth your time anymore. In my opinion, guys and girls alike that have no heart about someone they have been with for "X" amount of time don't deserve any contact from us. I feel so deeply in love with my ex but she is gone. She left me like I was nothing so even though I still love her with all I am, I will not give her the satisfaction to know that I still feel that way. I am better than she is since I am not the one who left. Both sex's play games, it is such a waste of time. I wish I had never fallen so hard but sometimes you do and when someone else has that power over you there is nothing you can do to avoid getting hurt, you have to trust the other person to not hurt you. Since she hurt you the only thing you can do to regain yourself is to remove her from your life completely. I am not saying forget her, you will never be able to do that, just remove everything about her and the other stuff will fade in time. Don't keep snooping trying to get info on what she is doing. Just worry about yourself and forget she exist. I promise it helps.

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Originally Posted by chris08

it's been about 4 or 5 weeks now since my ex dumped me. I don't need to go into how much i loved her or how much i did for her, i'll skip that part. But basically i've just found out that she has got with another guy. I have no idea who it could be. I'm hurting so much.

me. "Is it true your with someone else? If it is i really cannot, deep down, believe u could do that to me steph."

her. 'Well ye it is true and to be fair i dont answer to you anymore'

me. "Why r u making it out like im such a horrible person. I gave u that money back n u cudnt say thanks. and now u just throw everything back into my face. I just can't believe what your doing i really cant. What happened to 'i wudnt leave u for sum 1 else i wudnt do that to .' "

her. 'I got wiv my bf after you so what can you say to me? Nothing!'

oh man. :(

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Hi Chris,
I think that you should give her some space hun she needs some room to think you sound really great guy and i think that after one week you should sit with her and talk about it.
I hope it works out hunii
Love From
Robyn x

Just an update on this.. It seems as though after a few heated messages she's trying to put the blame onto me for the relationship ending, even though everybody who knows us well would entirely disagree with her. I don't know if this is a girl thing or if she's trying to make herself feel better/put less guilt on herself? I don't know.

Well I left it with "well at least i know how much you thought of me." No reply after that. Until an hour later she asks "Who told you anyway? That i was with someone?" I didn't reply to this, I've not said a word to her since. I do feel like saying I hate her, but I'm not that kind of person, because I know it wouldn't get me anywhere. So I think I'll leave it at this.

I'm thinking of deleting her number, e-mail, myspace, everything. My close friends can't believe what she's turned in to. And neither can I.

There are many here you have experienced the very same thing as you have. Once we take the blinders off we see people for their true selves. After break-ups when people are not on their best behavior anymore, the claws come out, and we are shocked. That is exactly why going slow in a relationship, and getting to know someone very well, before investing our souls, is the way to go.

Hey Chris,

I think you should delete all that information. What purpose does it serve right now? If you ever feel the need to contact her you will always have her phone number and she has yours. I think having her on myspace is not a good thing, from past experiences it just causes trouble. Even seeing her picture can play with your emotions.

Chris, No one outside the relationship will ever know the facts. Don't worry over what others think. You are causing yourself sadness at this point speaking to her at all.
Don't give her a chance to say anything to you. She will just dig in harder.
Go have fun without her, make a new life. " Living well is the best revenge." Best advice I can give you. And I know from experience it is true.

Thanks. I'm just glad I haven't tried to beat myself up over her. I can get too emotional at times like this, probably much more than any of my friends and I don't know why that is. So I'm just trying to hold it all together. I've got rid of most, if not everything to do with her, and I feel a bit better now.

We aren't all the same. That is a good thing! The more emotional among us are the most artistic, musically inclined, poetic. Use those feelings, draw on them for your own satisfaction.