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-   -   My ex and best friend are dating.ok to be upset? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=158871)

  • Dec 3, 2007, 03:07 PM
    shadylady1979
    My ex and best friend are dating.ok to be upset?
    He and I dated for four months. He dumped me and I had to live at my best friend's house for about five days. I was completely destroyed, because I had really fallen for this guy and it had been the first relationship where I saw it going somewhere in a while.

    Anyway, turns out they have been dating upwards of four months. We are all kind of the same circle of friends, and I had asked both her and him to their faces if something was going on for at least 3 months. I was told no repeatedly, and then I find out this.

    My question is... and I just want opinions... do you think it would be OK to sever the friendship?

    What upsets me more than anything is the lying, and being made to feel like I'm crazy when I'm completely sane.

    Any thoughts would help. I can clarify anything you want me to.

    What really disturbs me is that this is someone I talked about our sex life to, the good things, the bad, etc. IT just seems like if she was really a friend she would have come to me first. I wouldn't have been thrilled, but at least I wouldn't have been lied to for such an extended period.
  • Dec 3, 2007, 03:12 PM
    Rockstar714
    I think it is more than OK to sever the friendship. With both of them lying to you, obviously they didn't take the friendship into consideration. I would just sever the friendship and find other friends. There is no reason for you to be treated like that.
  • Dec 3, 2007, 03:13 PM
    mjl
    Real friends wouldn't lie to you. Find new friends because by the sound of it, they don't want to be your friend if they treat you like that.
  • Dec 3, 2007, 03:56 PM
    talaniman
    The best thing you can do is make better friends with other people.
  • Dec 12, 2007, 10:43 AM
    Gotogrrl
    Boys will come and go but girl friends are suppose to be there for you no matter what happens with the boys in your life. I think it is VERY OK an reasonable to sever ties with her and him for that matter. They lied to you they went behind your back. If they were real friends you are right they would have come to you first and talked about it.
    You should not make anyroom for fairweathered friends in your life it is just not worth it.
  • Dec 11, 2009, 03:28 PM
    JadeGirl109
    Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I would talk it out with her. Friends before Boyfriends. My ex boyfriend is now dating my best friend also. Before we started going out, I lied to my best friend, but the second he asked me out, I told her. In fact, she was hanging out with us, with her now ex boyfriend. Now my ex and her are dating. I'm not over him, so I'm not going to hang out with them for a really long time. But what is their for us to do? Your circumstances are much worse. I would just confront her, and ask her why she felt like she had to lie to me? Attempt to clear the air, and let her know she lost your trust. If that fails, then break the friendship. Ending a frienship over a boy is not the smartest idea, because boys will comeand go, but friends will stay.
  • Dec 11, 2009, 03:36 PM
    Devorameira
    That's really sad to have a friend stab you in the back. You're better off without either of them. You asked if you should sever the friendship. I think your friend already did that. Move on and get a friend that you can trust.

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