I'm physically and mentally drained and I would like to know how to over-come that. I feel as though when I take two steps forward, I'm falling three steps backwards. How do you pick up the pieces of what's left of your life and cotinue to move forward? I've got some many dreams and goals I want to fulfil but my emotions are holding me back. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own but have no one to help me. Where do I go from here? Any advice would be apreciated.

First things first. Do not tell yourself that you are not strong enough to do anything on your own. You are! You just haven't realized it yet.
Tell yourself everyday that you are strong enough, you are good enough. Be positive. Look for the positives in your life instead of the negatives. I assure you, they are there!

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Originally Posted by NowWhat

First things first. Do not tell yourself that you are not strong enough to do anything on your own. You are!! You just haven't realized it yet.
Tell yourself everyday that you are strong enough, you are good enough. Be positive. Look for the positives in your life instead of the negatives. I assure you, they are there!!

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I try to tell myself that I'm strong enough but in the end all I do is cry and isn't that a huge weakness?

Showing emotion and getting it out of your system isn't always a weakness.
Some people are more emotional than others.

Are there things in your life that make you feel this way? What is normally going on when you breakdown and cry?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NowWhat

Showing emotion and getting it out of your system isn't always a weakness.
Some people are more emotional than others.

Are there things in your life that make you feel this way? What is normally going on when you breakdown and cry?

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When you cry all the time about even the smallest things is that a problem? Well I mainly cry because I'm not with him. I cry because I want to talk to him but when I talk to him I want to hang up because I can't stand the mere sound of his voice... if that makes any sense at all!!

Well, if you are just coming off a break up, that does make sense. You have moved forward yet. You want the security of knowing you are in a relationship, but the pain of why you are broken up makes you angry.

You have to learn to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. You need to focus on yourself and find happiness within yourself. Once you can do that and know that you don't have to rely on anyone else for happiness, you can move forward.

What do you do for yourself that makes you happy?

I know how you feel, I was there before I think we all have been, But this is the best time to figure yourself out and see exactly how strong you really are. I went through HELL and Back, Read the lyric's to this song over and over again listen to it to; its called "Stand" By Rascal Falts It really did get me through a lot! If you let yourself fall you can figure out a way of Standing back up! You can do this by yourself!

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you've lost your fight
But you?ll be all right, you?ll be all right


Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend until you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of canyon with only one way down
Take what you're given before it's gone
And start holding on, keep holding on

Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend until you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Stop being so hard on yourself. Everyday you cry you will put this further behind you. Look forward and find joy in the things that make you happy and someone will want to share that happiness with you. Trust me, its only a matter of time and doing.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NowWhat

Well, if you are just coming off a break up, that does make sense. You have moved forward yet. You want the security of knowing you are in a relationship, but the pain of why you are broken up makes you angry.

You have to learn to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. You need to focus on yourself and find happiness within yourself. Once you can do that and know that you don't have to rely on anyone else for happiness, you can move forward.

What do you do for yourself that makes you happy?

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Before my ex... I was so independent on myself and didn't need anyone to be happy... not that we broke up... I feel differently about myself being... I truly want to be happy just don't know how to go about it... I spend time with my family and stay around people that bring me up in life but something as simple as going to the bathroom makes me break down... just for a few minutes... then I get out and try to smother myself with other people... does that make any sense?

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Originally Posted by Foxy459459

I know how you feel, I was there before I think we all have been, But this is the best time to figure yourself out and see exactly how stong you really are. I went through HELL and Back, Read the lyric's to this song over and over again listen to it to; its called "Stand" By Rascal Falts It really did get me through alot! If you let yourself fall you can figure out a way of Standing back up! You can do this by yourself!

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you've lost your fight
But you?ll be alright, you?ll be alright


Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of canyon with only one way down
Take what you're given before it's gone
And start holdin on, keep holdin on

Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend til you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

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Thanks so much for posting the lyrics to that song... I listen to it all the time... I try to understand it but sometimes I don't... The song is a positive song but still at times, It makes me cry as well! :(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Stop being so hard on yourself. Everyday you cry you will put this further behind you. Look forward and find joy in the things that make you happy and someone will want to share that happiness with you. Trust me, its only a matter of time and doing.

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I don't know how to stop being hard on myself... I know it's not all my fault, why this happened, I know that... but sometimes the pain that I feel inside tells me differently. It's like my heart is telling me one thing and my mind is saying the opposite. I feel like I have all the right tools in front of me but don't know how to use them... Is that understandable?

Sure it is, its very understandable. We all here, have been there. For insights, check out the links in my signature. What we always forget is that we are not alone with that pain.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Sure it is, its very understandable. We all here, have been there. For insights, check out the links in my signature. What we always forget is that we are not alone with that pain.

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It's funny how you think you're alone but you have someone out there helping you and giving you insights on how they dealt with the pain and in the end, that's what drives me to become a better person. Thank you so much!

I was there from 1984 to 2000 and I am still trying to pick up the pieces and have a life.
I had to raise 4 kids by myself and no real help. My one son had Attention deficit and a bunch of other emotional problems. He disrupted everyday and left me drained.
Since 2000 I started having a work life and less stress but still don't have 'a life'
It is hard but you can do it.
One thing I found amazing was that when I was in the stress even though it totally drained me I managed. But then when the stress wasn't near as bad, when I would have a stressful day and not even as bad as when my kids were little it was harder because I wasn't use to the stress.
You might feel like you can't get through but keep trying and take one day at a time.
Also pamper yourself as much as possible, like soak in a tub with lavender oil and stuff like that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

I was there from 1984 to 2000 and I am still trying to pick up the pieces and have a life.
I had to raise 4 kids by myself and no real help. My one son had Attention deficit and a bunch of other emotional problems. He disrupted everyday and left me drained.
Since 2000 I started having a work life and less stress but still don't have 'a life'
It is hard but you can do it.
One thing I found amazing was that when I was in the stress even though it totally drained me I managed. But then when the stress wasn't near as bad, when I would have a stressful day and not even as bad as when my kids were little it was harder because I wasn't use to the stress.
You might feel like you can't get through but keep trying and take one day at a time.
Also pamper yourself as much as possible, like soak in a tub with lavender oil and stuff like that.

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You've had it much rougher than me... it just proves that I can get through all of this... it's nothing major like having kids or anything... I just hope I can learn how to manage like you did!! :D