Ask Me Help Desk - Jealous of my girlfriends present and past

So here's the whole story:

I have been "going out" with my girlfriend on/off for the past 6 years. Before me she had another boyfriend. After she cheated on me with him, he found out about it and there has been bad blood ever since. In the beginning, she would still be his girlfriend and ignore me for a few months. Then she would come back to me in secret and we would hook up while they were still going out. This was the routine for a few years until he went away for a period. When he came back she saw a change in him and supposedly lost all feeling for him, even though she used to say how muchs he loved him and pictured marrying him. Me and her were very close throughout these 6 years. She always had kept me in secret for some reason and I'm getting sick of it. Her ex got a new girlfriend but yet was still texting her from time to time. Now he called her and confessed his love for her. She was happy he called just so she could feel closure of their relatiionship. She felt wronged by him and claims she has no feelings whatsoever for him. Now, I am uneasy with what's going on and I feel that at any time she might fall back in love with him. I feel like I'm just the secret on the side and I'm sick of it, but yet I can't let her go because I fear loneliness and ii would miss her too much. 6 years is a long time. What should I do?

She will never admit it but secretly she is still in love with him and even though she may love you its not the same you are keeping her occupied but doesn't wantto make it sound like you 2 are a big deal she would turn on you ina second if he wanted her back I would get out now and tell her why you deserve to be in an equal relationship not kept in secret love is suppose to be 50 50 and it sounds like she is using you I'm sorry to say

Quote:

Originally Posted by rocker123

So here's the whole story:

I have been "going out" with my girlfriend on/off for the past 6 years. Before me she had another boyfriend. After she cheated on me with him, he found out about it and there has been bad blood ever since. In the begining, she would still be his girlfriend and ignore me for a few months. Then she would come back to me in secret and we would hook up while they were still going out. This was the routine for a few years until he went away for a period of time. When he came back she saw a change in him and supposedly lost all feeling for him, even though she used to say how muchs he loved him and pictured marrying him. Me and her were very close throughout these 6 years. She always had kept me in secret for some reason and I'm getting sick of it. Her ex got a new girlfriend but yet was still texting her from time to time. Now he called her and confessed his love for her. She was happy he called just so she could feel closure of their relatiionship. She felt wronged by him and claims she has no feelings whatsoever for him. Now, I am uneasy with whats going on and I feel that at any time she might fall back in love with him. I feel like im just the secret on the side and im sick of it, but yet i can't let her go because i fear loneliness and ii would miss her too much. 6 years is a long time. What should i do?

Get a clue!
How long does she have to treat you this way before you realize she is bad news and is using you? Do yourself a favor and leave her.

I think she is using you as a distraction. Being with you allows her to get what she wants in a relationship, but she still gets to keep him too. If she will cheat with you, she will surely cheat ON you, so you should forget her. I think you know this, but you don't know how to let go. You are in a comfort zone because she has been there for six years, but there is no way this is true love. I'm sorry, but I just say let go and find someone who can commit to you and only you. As the saying goes, if your kisses can't hold the one you love, then your tears won't bring them back. You can't control her emotions anymore than you can control hers, but you can detach yourself from the situation so that you can get over it. You can't get over someone while you are still with them.

This thread is a year old. The last answer was given 12/07