I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and I love him very much and we are getting along really well. I can't see myself with anyone else and neither can he. We have discussed marriage for the future. He is the first person I have slept with though he has been in two previous serious relationships.
My problem if it is one is that he doesn't want sex nearly as much as me. We have sex once every week or two now. In the past it was better but this has been going on for about 6 months. There is always an excuse - too tired, too busy etc. I have been really patient and understanding but I do feel like there is nothing I can do. I am beginning to resent him for being like this and feeling like there is something wrong with me.
I have tried discussing this with him and all he says is that he is tired and things will improve but the last few times it has been brought up he just says it is him and that is the way it is.
Is there anything I can do for the two of us so he doesn't feel like he is disappointing me and I don't resent him as I am beginning to do? I really want us to work - should I just leave it not worry about it - I am more worried that it will drive a wedge between us.

I am a divorcée, and soon after getting married, me and my ex-wife had a similar problem. I never thought I would be that way, but I was. I always wanted it more than her at first, but it soon changed. I regret it more than anything now. I didn't realize how good I had it. Perhaps it is because he feels that he doesn't deserve it, or feels guilty about it for some reason. Maybe it's because he doesn't feel like he's pulling his weight in the relationship or something. That was the case with me, because I got laid off right after getting married, and she was the breadwinner for a few months. Otherwise, he just might need to be reminded or reassured that he would regret it if you were gone. Please wake him up! Just like with you two, we talked about it, and it didn't work. It only took time for me to realize I was way wrong, and then it was too late, cause she was gone. I would give anything to go back to those days, because now I am all alone, and can't seem to find anyone that would ever compare to her!

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Originally Posted by bobbyd86

I have been dating my bf for over a year now and I love him very much and we are getting along really well. I can't see myself with anyone else and neither can he. We have discussed marriage for the future. He is the first person I have slept with though he has been in two previous serious relationships.
My problem if it is one is that he doesn't want sex nearly as much as me. we have sex once every week or two now. In the past it was better but this has been going on for about 6 months. There is always an excuse - too tired, too busy etc. I have been really patient and understanding but I do feel like there is nothing I can do. I am beginning to resent him for being like this and feeling like there is something wrong with me.
I have tried discussing this with him and all he says is that he is tired and things will improve but the last few times it has been brought up he just says it is him and that is the way it is.
Is there anything I can do for the two of us so he doesn't feel like he is disappointing me and I don't resent him as I am beginning to do? I really want us to work - should I just leave it not worry about it - I am more worried that it will drive a wedge between us.

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You defintley need to keep talking to him about it. Its obviously upsetting you, and you need to let him know how its making you feel resentment towards him and feeling distant. I have the same sort of problem with my girlfriend, I want sex a lot more then she does and the times we do have sex it seems she just wants to get it over with. She just started taking some pills to increase her libido. I'm hoping they work wonders. ;)

That is an option you may want to discuss with him. There are several libido enhancements he can take that will possibly make him want to have sex more. Do not just leave it be and not worry about it, because it is an issue with you.

Have you tried to initiate sex out of the blue when he's not expecting it? I tell you I used to love when my g/f did that. Maybe he's bored and wants to try some new things. The key is to talk with him about it.

If he truly does love you, he will understand how you feel and he try to do things to make you happy.

Is there a physical condition causing this? Might want to have him talk to his doctor. Could also be a simple matter of sex not being that important to him? If he simply is not that interested in Sex, you will never change him. Learn to live with it or get out of the relationship.