I've been wth my boyfriend a while now and things a going well, we really really like each other. My only concern is his attitude towards sex. I'm a virgin, he isn't. I'm sure he would take advantage of me, but he knows just how innocent I am! We send the odd dirty text, and fair enough I understand this is private between us, but some of the things he comes out with shock me a bit. Maybe I'm just too innocent, but he says he would like to come on my face, I just don't get it? Why would he want to do that? Please help me I'm so innocent, and I really want sex but I don't want him to be using my inexperience to his advantage!

Yeha, he seems to want to do things that are rather disrespectful. You shouldn't let him do anthing tha you don't want to do.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chocoholic_mmm

ive been wth my boyfriend a while now and things a going well, we really really like each other. my only concern is his attitude towards sex. im a virgin, he isnt. im sure he would take advantage of me, but he knows just how innocent i am! we send the odd dirty text, and fair enough i understand this is private between us, but some of the things he comes out with shock me a bit. maybe im just too innocent, but he says he would like to come on my face, i just dont get it? why would he want to do that? please help me im so innocent, and i really want sex but i dont want him to be using my inexperience to his advantage!

---

He's jumping to things, girls would refuse to do if they were experienced. It's your private life, however... sex is a mutual discretion. Both of you have to agree to many things if you want a safe, happy sex life. If you feel uncomfortable performing or receiving sexual acts based off his" interests, please go with your gut. I have a girlfriend of five years, and there are just some things during bed time, I want to hold off on.

Maybe you should stop the dirty talk until you are ready to actually have sex. And hold of doing that until you trust this person enough not to take advantage of you. Hold on to your virginity. It is the best gift you can give someone you are in love with, make sure you give it to the right person.
I may be old fashioned, but what is wrong with waiting till marriage. Then you KNOW that he's not using you for sex. :)

OK, so you said you were innocent three times in your message. You may have not had sex and performed any sexual act for that matter ( I don't know) but I think it may be better for you to use the word 'inexperienced'. Innocent makes you sound young and unsure, if you are a mature and confident woman maybe another word to describe your sexual inactivity is in order... you are inexperienced sex goddess! Ha ha. The thing is, by saying you are innocent you are simply handing him your insecurity, which in turn, he could use to his advantage. If you are not ready to do anything, then don't do it. Ask yourself " am i ready for sex now?", if 'yes' doesn't pop into your head straight away then you're not ready. And it sounds like your virginity is an important thing to you.. so make sure he also treats it with respect. You need to show him you are strong, lay down the lines other wise he could get hopeful and try something inappropriate. ( do this sensitively of course, you don't want to push him away) the dirty messages probably aren't helping the situation by the way.. if you are not ready yet... I suggest you hold off on these for a while... hes probably getting the wrong ideas.
But if you think you are ready... don't stop! Its fun and flirtatious way to communicate your sexual desires to one another.



Hope I helped in some way,
Erin

p.s the whole coming on your face thing... this is a common sexual fantasy for most men. I personally don't think it's that bad. But everyone is different.

If this guy knows you're a virgin and talks about such things to you, he has no respect for you. You need to put a stop to such talk. It is not a wise thing to have conversations about things you have no intention of following through with, especially if you don't even know what you're talking about.

He's working on you... he wants to demean and abuse you for his own amusement because you're dumb about sexual matters, and perhaps, you want to show your independence from your parents by experimenting sexually.

The last thing you want if you are innocent is to be someone's "toilet"... wanna permanetly warp yourself?

Just don't forget that the best of human sexual response is related to warm loving feelings... find a guy you can share *positive*sexual feelings with.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chocoholic_mmm

ive been wth my boyfriend a while now and things a going well, we really really like each other. my only concern is his attitude towards sex. im a virgin, he isnt. im sure he would take advantage of me, but he knows just how innocent i am! we send the odd dirty text, and fair enough i understand this is private between us, but some of the things he comes out with shock me a bit. maybe im just too innocent, but he says he would like to come on my face, i just dont get it? why would he want to do that? please help me im so innocent, and i really want sex but i dont want him to be using my inexperience to his advantage!

---

If you are still a virgin he shouldn't be talking to you like that. Sex is already a big enough decision to make. Guys get horny and say dumb stuff, if this is the situation then forgive him. If he often says this stuff though you need to end it, just trust me you do not want to have a boyfriend that is like that, nor loose your virginity to! Sex is special and supposed to be a symbol of love, but what he saying should not be done because it sounds like something he saw on a porno. Before you break up with him make sure you tell him the problem, maybe he thinks you like that dirty talk!

I agree, he is being mean and demeaning and abusing your innocence.