I worked on a yacth for 6 months, that's where I met my boyfriend. It all started just for fun... until he said he loved me... I didn't say anything as I was shocked... but we still stayed together... I had to leave yacth.. we promised to stay in touch.. when back home I realised how much I missed him... one day he was coming to see me... then he couldn't... so I was upset and told him off on the phone... he took it bad and he told me not to speak to him again... I called him to apologise... and told him that I loved him, finally. He was still upset and he wanted to break up. I felt terrible for two weeks... then we started sending text messages... and finally I decided to surprise him and go and see him and the rest of the crew.. they were all happy to see me but he was shocked... and stayed under shock all the time. I told him I wasn't there to fix things.. but he felt responsible and wanted to talk all the time.. I gave him time and we did talk.. but he got more upset and I got worse that I stayed one day going around town on my own. Evening I went back to boat... everyone went out and we stayed together... he felt better as I was all the time trying to make him feel relax.. then we watched a dvd and he was really close to me... that he started crying... and we made love... yet I didn't pressure him about what's going to happen next... I stayed cool... I have one question... was it a good idea to surprise him? Or you think it was better to let him know from before so that we stay friends for now without antyhing else happening? It was good and he felt good... yet I understand that we both need space so we are not texting... if I did wrong to surprise him... what shall I do next? Go again in a month or so, and let him know this time, and be merry and happy and stay friends and see AGAIN his reaction? Please help...

If your going to surprise a fella, and take him to bed, then know that your not expecting anything in return. Wait and see what he does before you throw yourself at someone, and invest so much time and emotion. It may be fun to you now, but what about when you want, and expect, more from him and he is not so giving as you have been. Slow this train down, and talk and listen.

Hey talaniman, thanks for your answer... I agree with you I shouldn't have done it... all I can do now is wait until he sends a text mesasge because I am not pushing... I didn't even push while I was there, I felt he needed space... and the only reason I slept with him because at that stage I felt it was the only way I can remind him of how close we were... He is 26 I am 32.. I know he was so worried and concerned about me being there... not to mention the shock state he was in... he was like that for two whole days and wanted to talk all the time... and did make an effort to spend time together... when I almost gave up and was about to leave. He was even getting sick and throwing up... he never thought I will go and see him... I was always super cool before and hurt him by ignoring his feelings when he said he loves me...
So I couldn't think of anything else last weekend when I went to surprise him..

I won't be seeing him for the next 6 or 7 weeks... what would you reckon the next step will be? Go back up... as friends , and really stay as friends this time, just talking? Will there be another chance? Is it wise to give it another go like I just said and go up and tell him beforehand... and stay normal and friends.. that way he will realise this time I am serious about it...

Sex doesn't always mean love, especially when the lines of communication need to be open. Talk and listen to each other, and work it out in a way that benefits you both. Communication is the key to any relationship, in my opinion and the sex is an expression of the love between couples, but secondary to the meeting of the minds. Visit him and listen, and express your own feelings, to straighten out the problems your having. I hope I've helped and wish you luck. Keep us updated and feel free to ask any questions you have.

Just be as honest as you can with this guy, I'm in limbo with my ex at the moment and I wished she would just call me and tell me the truth