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The only time I orgasm is when I'm on top, when my boyfriend is on top or behind me it feels really good and I feel close to an orgasm but it never comes, when he fingers me I enjoy it but it doesn't feel as good, it sometimes even hurts a lot when my clitoris is touched because it's very sensitve.
So my question is how can I have an orgasm with him pleasuring me instead of me having to be on top to have one?
Pleasure YOURSELF in other positions. YOU know what you like (or should, anyway).
Teach HIM what you like, how hard, how soft, rhythms, whatever.
You're probably getting just the right angle, and just the right pressure when you're on top.
Lol OK, I'm actually not the type to pleasure myself as I feel really weird doing it, but yea I do know a bit what I like so yea thanks :) and I think the right angle and pressure is true because when I'm on top I sit the way I feel it most, but thing is sometimes when I am about to orgasm it won't actually come or when I have it deeper or harder it throws off sensation... sooo yea I'm not sure if it's something inside because I think I only orgasm when my clitoris touches him as I'm on top too (pressure thing) so it's still pretty confusing but yea thanks again
There is ongoing argument about whether an orgasm is originated in the vagina or through the clitoris. Some people say "that's ridiculous, it's all the same."
After years of practice I think that there are two separate orgasms. Does it matter? Oh, yeah! After the first time I was with a guy, I lost all ability to feel orgasms. It would happen, but was like the sneeze that gets cut off. Years later, having sex with a guy that I trusted completely, I experienced a vaginal orgasm. After that I could experience either kind. All those years, I had been trying to push the guy out. You have to want him in!
Guys can read "How to Please a Woman Every Time, and Have Her Beg For More" and women can stop acting as if you enjoy being reamed and rammed and tell him what you really like. If ramming is good for a woman, more power to her! I read somewhere that a woman's skin is 90% more sensitive than a mans. Mine must be. Being touched by most guys? I'd have a better time with a floor sanding machine.
Touch yourself. Your female fingers are softer and gentler. They work better for that reason. The fact that you know what feels good, when, is only part of the secret. Now we know why men's tongues are so effective, they're SOFT!
You need to get over the "weirdness" of touching yourself. Really.Quote:
Originally Posted by Starhope
My partner cannot reach orgasm missionary, guy on top. Not with me, not with other partners before. It feels good to her, she likes it, but it isn't the right cl!toral stim, even if I try to focus pressure on her pubic region (pressure)instead of focusing on the vagina (penetration).
Now... a girl I dated before her could ALWAYS get off with finger stim, by her or by me, when in the missionary position. Worked like a charm for her... like ALL the time. But she, unlike many, could tolerate strong cl!toral stim. If I touched my partner as strong as I touched her there, id get smacked upside the head.
To pile on the "get over it" angle... there's a position that I love that never, ever got my partner off. Its from behind, her laying on top of me angled. Not comfortable for her and she has no control over her own body... pretty much she goes where I push her. Well... its money for me but was nothing for her.
Until she self stimulated one time. And brought herself to orgasm. Right as I hit mine. It was awesome. Now a "useless" position for her has become a possible one.
If you were alone you probably wouldn't feel strange touching yourself... if you knew there was nobody watching or "catching" you. So the hangup is doing it with the guy present.
Look... when my partner reaches down to self stim I think its exciting. I know she's not just along for the ride. I know she's getting close... and I think it's a big turn on.
I WANT her to want it badly enough to do whatever it takes. Its no more his "failure" than it is yours.
We just had sex where she was on her side, man from behind, top leg raised some... it was mostly about me... but when she was self stimulating her fingers and nails kind of caught me some... it made all the difference in the world. She got herself to orgasm and I had a heightened one because of the "extra" stimulation.
So if you feel strange about it, do him a favor while you give yourself one. For ex, if he's coming from behind you can place your face on the bed or a pillow and reach under with both hands... one for you and one grasping/grazing his "guys" now and then. You are really focusing on you, but using the other hand to change the sensations will drive him mad and offset any "what is she doing" thoughts he might have.
The very first time a partner reached down to self stim, it was a little surprising. After that, it was exciting, especially when I saw the results.
My only other suggestion would be to have him perform oral on you to get you either to or through orgasm, and then see if intercourse can put you over the top or give you "seconds"...
We screw (no pun) up sex enough as it is... don't let this get in your way. Just like 69 is usually a terrible position to bring a woman to orgasm, many sexual positions just don't stim a woman the way she needs to be stim to hit orgasm. The cl!toris is in a lousy place for many positions. Its just the truth.
Some believe people who approach sex with a "goal oriented" approach (must hit orgasm) don't have as good a sex life as those who approach it with the journey in mind. That is, those who lose themselves in the moment and don't worry about the end enjoy all phases of sex more... if you are too "goal oriented" and you don't get orgasm, it's a "failure"...
Well... that said... you need balance. You need to be aroused by every little touch. Not look over how breath on your neck or chest feels by rushing to the cl!t... BUT you also, obviously, want some "payout" too.
So you can be a slave to your inhibitions or you can make the most of the moment.
Lifes too short to not enjoy sex when you get the chance. You'll never look back and say, "gee i just wish id had fewer orgasms"... ;)
Ok, thank you guys both for the advice, yea a lot of that stuff I haven't thought of before so for sure I'll try lol but you don't have to worry it's not goal orientated, I always take the chance to have sex whether I orgasm or not. :) and thanks for the stories lol :)
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