Hello,
Just wanted to see if my suspicions are justified. My girlfriend of whom I have known for 10+ years just told me she was in the hole for over $260.00 on her Chase Visa card which had a credit limit of $500.00. The card was recently opened in August, 2007. She said they demanded full payment of the $260.00 and would not work with her. I nearly felt pity for her and wanted to help but after I thought things through and came to my senses, several things jumped out at me. First, she lives with her parents-her only major bill is a car payment. She has a 40 hr. per week job but she is always broke. She tells me that she ran up the charges on food, gas, and clothing-which I find outrageous unless she was buying caviar, filling up her Scion with Premium, and splurging on designer brands. As far as I know, she is pretty frugal when it comes to these things. Nevertheless, I'm bailing out on this relationship. Just wanted to see if this is a viable indication of infidelity.Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I don't think that's reason to suspect she is cheating, I think it's reason to suspect she has secret expenses maybe, but not really cheating would be the first thing that I would think.

Hey!
Thanks for the quick reply. I just wanted to add that this girl has been unfaithful before. The scenario that keeps coming to mind is that her new love interest maybe couldn't pay his rent and was about to be evicted on his pathetic butt or his car broke down. He in turn asks my now ex-girlfriend for help and knowing that she is for the most part kind-hearted and trusting(too bad that isn't the case when it comes to relationships). She, in turn, gives him the money, possibly writing a courtesy check on the account because a lot of credit card companies will not honor a charge exceeding the credit limit, especially given the recent credit crunch and all. She now thinks the guy will pay her back and I seriously doubt that he will if my gut feeling about her behavior is correct. I saw her last Tuesday and she was acting awfully strange and guarded. She practically pushed me out the door, saying her parents would get home from work soon(and I know her parents approve of me and they trust me). She also said her car got egged and somebody stuck a large kitchen knife in her front yard(and she lives in an upscale neighborhood). Knowing the types of people she has dated in the past this is why I am so suspicious. She's not content to be with boring old me who works 50-60 hours a week and is independent, responsible, stable conservative-she always leaves me for some flavor-of-the-month that turns out to be no good. Then she comes running back! Well, I'm not helping her out of this one-I'm moving on because she has lied to me countless times.

Good for you. Even if she isn't cheating on you or up to anything, the girl has trouble managing money. You work too hard to play that game. Play with someone who challenges you!

I agree...

She has two separate problems at least... infidelity and poor financial responsibility. A person can be faithful and still broke all the time. I know a guy who never has money... he has made up to 80K a year. He finds ways to blow it, no matter how much he makes. He's asked his sister or father for financial help every year. He can make money. He cannot keep it.

I think she's just terrible with money. Walk away. Don't bail her out. Shed better learn sooner than later that her bad financial decisions have consequences.

Oh well if he has past infidelity, yeah, I'd say it's time to hit the road, she's bad news.

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Originally Posted by Jason8676

Hey!
Thanks for the quick reply. I just wanted to add that this girl has been unfaithful before. The scenario that keeps coming to mind is that her new love interest maybe couldn't pay his rent and was about to be evicted on his pathetic butt or his car broke down. He in turn asks my now ex-girlfriend for help and knowing that she is for the most part kind-hearted and trusting(too bad that isn't the case when it comes to relationships). She, in turn, gives him the money, possibly writing a courtesy check on the account because alot of credit card companies will not honor a charge exceeding the credit limit, especially given the recent credit crunch and all. She now thinks the guy will pay her back and I seriously doubt that he will if my gut feeling about her behavior is correct. I saw her last Tuesday and she was acting awfully strange and guarded. She practically pushed me out the door, saying her parents would get home from work soon(and I know her parents approve of me and they trust me). She also said her car got egged and somebody stuck a large kitchen knife in her front yard(and she lives in an upscale neighborhood). Knowing the types of people she has dated in the past this is why I am so suspicious. She's not content to be with boring old me who works 50-60 hours a week and is independent, responsible, stable conservative-she always leaves me for some flavor-of-the-month that turns out to be no good. Then she comes running back! Well, I'm not helping her out of this one-I'm moving on because she has lied to me countless times.

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You seem to know what you're doing and have made the right decision, but you mention that she leave you for the flavour of the month then comes back to you. Its up to you to now make sure you don't take her back again, as you have before. She will learn nothing from her actions and keep treating you like crap if you keep allowing it! She sounds like she loves a thug, you don't need to mix yourself up in that... keep away. I would also agree that from what you have mentioned above she does sound like she's behaving in a guilty way. I'm glad that you sound (semi) OK with it... power to you (",)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jason8676

Hello,
Just wanted to see if my suspicions are justified. My girlfriend of whom I have known for 10+ years just told me she was in the hole for over $260.00 on her Chase Visa card which had a credit limit of $500.00. The card was recently opened in August, 2007. She said they demanded full payment of the $260.00 and would not work with her. I nearly felt pity for her and wanted to help but after I thought things through and came to my senses, several things jumped out at me. First, she lives with her parents-her only major bill is a car payment. She has a 40 hr. per week job but she is always broke. She tells me that she ran up the charges on food, gas, and clothing-which I find outrageous unless she was buying caviar, filling up her Scion with Premium, and splurging on designer brands. As far as I know, she is pretty frugal when it comes to these things. Nevertheless, I'm bailing out on this relationship. Just wanted to see if this is a viable indication of infidelity.Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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I think you're over thinking this but if she has cheated on you that is a good enough reason to be suspicious.