Hi there, I have been in love before but it didn't seem like real love because the other person didn't love me, they rather play with my feelings, oh well, sugar cube iced tea. I have never had a serious long-term relationship, they have come and gone and I'm still alive, but my two sisters(one older and one younger) have had long-term relationships with their boyfriends. How can I have a long-term relationship and what will I need to keep it?

Also, they claim to be in love yet I see that my older sister(she has a baby with her boyfriend and has lived with him for over a year) is constantly being cheated on by her boyfriend. They love each other one day and hat each other the next. I think my sister knows that her boyfriend cheats on her and she doesn't seem to want to leave him.

My little sister has been with her boyfriend for about a year and her boyfriend can't seem to live without her. She is only 16 and has gone Christian meaning she's waiting for her husband so she really has no need to keep being with her boyfriend. I always see them together and they look cute but she is always relieved when he leaves and it seems like she doesn't want him. They argue constantly about breaking up and I truly feel he is dependent on her and if she breaks up with him he will be suicidal!! So, why does love turn people this way? It's a terrible terrible thing! People, please tell me love is not like this cause that sucks! Let me know your opinions and advice so I can help my ailing sister along.

Your old sister's boyfriend does not love her - he just loves the fact he can have his cake and eat it and she won't do anything about it. Your sister probably does know deep down but chooses to dismiss it because she feels so in love with him. In actual fact she is probably in denile because they have a baby together.

I was like that with my ex - I knew he was cheating, but because he was in control of me, he had the ability to keep me hanging on even though deep down I knew I should let go.

Your younger sister sounds rather independent and probably does not like being smothered. This guy sounds dependent upon her but I don't think he would go suicidal if they broke up - but perhaps become depressed - sounds like he already is depressed and you sister is allowing him not to think about it. Your sister probably knows he is a lovely guy at heart but cannot bring herself to finish with him because she does not want to hurt him.

Love is a wonderful thing when you find it - but it has to be both ways.

If you love someone - but they do not love you back then you have not yet experienced love as I have now discovered.

I thought I was in love with my ex - but having actually cried tears of happiness (which has never happened to me before) with my current boyfriend pete - I can honestly say that True Love really is a splendour thing. You just have to be patient. Its an awful long journey and you will encounter many boyfriends a long the way - but once you find true love it is the most amazing feeling.

It is out there, and it is a splendour thing - don't judge Love on your sisters relationships - there is a difference to loving someone and being in love with someone. If you don't understand now - you will when the time is right.

Hi,
All love is not like this. It depends on the two people involved; whether they respect each other, really care, and want to take care of each other.
I was divorced after my first 7 yrs of marriage, then remarried; now for 28 yrs. To a very wonderful woman.
Your future is what you make it. If you think you are in love with someone, get pregnant, have a baby, and then live with your boyfriend, like your sister, I don't know what kink of relationship this really is. She is probably staying with him due to no where else to go.
Your other sister, 16, is just that... 16 yrs old. She may not know what she wants out of life yet, much less what she wants in a boyfriend, and even a husband possibly later on.
Love with the right person is so very, very wonderful; and it will happen to you! You determine your future, and what you do today will determine what that future will be. Choose wisely, and don't "fall in love" with the first, or every man, you know. Then, if it's not working out, have the experience to know it, and move on. Love takes some time; and eventually it will happen for you, if you give it time. A 16 year old feels they are in love, but really, have not too much to compare it with.
I do wish you the very best, and I know you will find someone who doesn't play these "games" with you. He is out there; all you need to do is have patience, and you will find him.

Unfortunately a lot of people develop misguided conceptions of what love is all about. This is usually the result of abuse in one form or another to one extent or another. Another contributing factor is modeling, or having witnessed unhealthy relationships among parents, older siblings, etc. Eventually people take it for granted that that is what love is all about, though no one can understand or explain it. There is often a lot of co-dependency in unhealthy relationships where each person alternates between being "perpetrator" and "victim." This souds like it may be the case with your older sister and to a lesser extent with your younger sister. My bese advice to you is to go with your gut. If something doesn't seem right , it isn't ; if something doesn't feel right, it isn't. Don't attempt to rationalize or make excuses. In a sense, a "fairy-tale" romance is actually closer to the picture of what true, healthy love should resemble more so than the kind of drama that your older sister is enduring. A lot of people may consider that more realisitc but it actually isn't ; it's misguided reality. Never settle for "partial happiness" ; if something doesn't bring you total euphoria, then it's not for real so abandon it.

You I isn't going to touch this one