Hi
Hi I am trying to make this short since it's a long story.. I would like to ask you what would you do if you were in my shoe?
My 3rd daughter just finished high school last June, She moved in my good friend last Oct for temporary. Because she has a guest room and here no room so she moved in with her... only 2 weeks old roommate with her, my friend told my daughter mostly of my secrets, problems etc.. I of course was angry because she has no business to tell my kids about my problems, secrets, etc.. Especially her first time roommate, first year of college. etc... WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST>>>>>
I now haven't talk to my kid since what happened... I can't trust her at all... I'm still angry and felt like Im losing kids.. so I do not know what to do... what would you do if your best friend told your kids your secrets, problems, without talking to you first..
Im hoping Im making sense here... :(

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Originally Posted by Because

Hi
Hi i am trying to make this short since its a long story.. I would like to ask you what would you do if you were in my shoe?
My 3rd daughter just finished high school last June, She moved in my good friend last Oct for temporary. because she has a guest room and here no room so she moved in with her ... only 2 weeks old roommate with her, my friend told my daughter mostly of my secrets, problems etc.. I of course was angry bec she has no business to tell my kids about my problems, secrets, etc.. especially her first time roommate, first year of college. etc... WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST>>>>>
I now havent talk to my kid since what happened... I can't trust her at all... im still angry and felt like Im losing kids..so I do not know what to do ... what would you do if your best friend told your kids your secrets, problems, without talking to u first..?
Im hoping Im making sense here.... :(

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She doesn't sound like a good friend. I don't know what your secrets are though. Was she telling your daughter stuff to protect her? Or was she just gossiping? In any case, she should have talked to you first. I'd feel left out and angry too. Kids need to reach out and break the bond to mother too though.

I'd talk to your friend first. Tell her how you feel and then go from there.

If you already told your friend about it, it's not a secret. I'm guessing you just assumed (rather than explicitly asking) that she wouldn't tell anybody. If you didn't ask and she didn't agree to keep it secret, you have no cause to be angry with her, even though she may have used poor judgment in telling your daughter. In the future, you might not want to talk about your secrets with people who don't have a personal or professional obligation to keep them.

So how much difference will it make to your ongoing relationship with your daughter that she now knows your "secrets and problems"? It could be a good thing, couldn't it?