Ok so here is my problem. I just went through the state to get child support from my daughters dad. We are in the process right now. They are collecting for her medical to. I told the lady that if I could get him to agree to and draw up some papers saying that he would give me so much in child support that I wouldn't serve him papers from the court. He is very much scared now because he has another baby on the way. (he cheated on me with this other girl and got her pregnant) The baby is due in December. I don't want to take away from that other child and make he/she not have what it should. My daughter is set in life and I don't need her dad. Im getting married in a month and we have everything that she could ever need or want. Should I even bother??

Are you asking whether you should drop all claims for child support or just enter into a private agreement with the father? Personally I would enter a private agreement.

However, if you plan on having your husband adopt your daughter, then I would drop it and get him to relinquish his rights when your husband is ready to adopt.

If he would do that I would do it in a heart beat but he does love his daughter just not financially. But yes I think I would want to do it privatly. I just worry that he would take my world away from me. I love her so much and she is my world. But he does have a record and still lives with his parents so I think I'm OK there.

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Originally Posted by angel0772001

Ok so here is my problem. I just went through the state to get child support from my daughters dad. We are in the process right now. They are collecting for her medical to. I told the lady that if i could get him to agree to and draw up some papers saying that he would give me so much in child support that i wouldnt serve him papers from the court. He is very much scared now because he has another baby on the way. (he cheated on me with this other girl and got her pregnant) The baby is due in december. I dont want to take away from that other child and make he/she not have what it should. My daughter is set in life and i dont need her dad. Im getting married in a month and we have everything that she could ever need or want. Should i even bother?????

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If you have already filed with the State you may not be able to withdraw your request - I do know you can get an Order for Support and just not enforce it.

Is your husband thinking of adopting your daughter?

I can withdraw the child support part but I can't on the medical. They want their money back. He would love to adopt her but her dad has too much pride to sign over his rights.

If it gets him out of child support, he may do it.

No he told me that he would help out in any way he can cause that's his daughter. He wants it to be known that she is his daughter for the simple fact that my fiancé is in the picture.

If there is not going to be an adoption by steop parent, get the child support court ordered, if not there will only be more legal issues latter

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

if there is not going to be an adoption by steop parent, get the child support court ordered, if not there will only be more legal issues latter

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I agree - get support Court ordered as well as visitation and custody and then you can later decide what to do.

Personally if there is not plan in the future for your child to be adopted, I would do everything through the courts.

If you try to agree to something privately, be prepared once his other child is born, to give a million and one reasons he can't pay you what he said.

The courts will set it up fairly in court... but he won't have a choice to pay.

The only reason a father gets nervous setting up child support through the courts is if they are already thinking there may be a time in which they don't pay... if they continue to pay child support nothing is done to him so why not have that safety net?