My boyfriend and I were seriously in love but we had to break up as he moved over 4000 miles away to study! After a couple of months of writing and phoning he said he didn't feel the same way anymore and we ended things properly. I have never really stopped wanting him back but have largely put it to the back of my mind and have since had other relationships but I have ended them for lack of feelings. However about 9 months ago I e-mailed the ex to say I still had feelings. He was lovely about it and we managed to be friends again. I now e-mail him maybe every couple of months and he does the same which I think is OK but the problem is last week I e-mailed him because I thought he'd removed me as a friend on myspace and was pissed off. I had actually been hacked and lots of people had been removed. This might not be so bad but three months earlier I responded to something he wrote on his blog that I thought was directed at me and wasn't, again feeling very stupid.

I'm worried that I will come across as being obsessive and rightly so I think. I know it's only two e-mails several months apart but they do give away how strongly I feel about our relationship, my worry that he no longer cares for me and how frusrtated I am that our only contact is via the net and the occasional phone call. Is there a way I can get back from this and win him back? I know the answer is probably just to leave him be but I need to be told I think!

If he's THAT far away, I would try your best to get over your feelings for him. Long distance relationships are difficult, not impossible, but difficult.

But if he says that he no longer has feelings for you, I think that if you two DID get back together, you would be having trust issues with him being so far away and you seemingly loving him more.

I think the best idea is to cut off all communication, and move on. You'll be happy you did one day.

Good luck to you!

I completely agree with the advice above!
I once had to end a relationship because it was with a guy who lived on a different continent than me!! It was really hard, but eventually I got over him.

Just think of it this way: to him, you are like those other guys you dated are to you. :D if you get any of that... :D You ended it with those other guys because there weren't enough feelings between you two. This is what he is feeling about you...

I think that you should really try your best to forget about him. He obviously doesn't deserve an awsom person like you, you need someone who will love you forever!!

Good luck, hope evrythng works out well!

following my last question there have been a few developments. I took the amazing advice I got last time and moved on but my ex did get in touch with me and this is what happened...



my ex is returning to the country after 18 months abroad, we've seen each other a couple of times over x-mas as friends and it's been lovely. I would like us to get back together when he comes home but only if it's right for both of us and also only if he steps up, because he ended it before I have to wait for him to reach out I think. I'm prepared to wait and see what happens but I don't want to get into a painful cycle of hope and doubt. I need some tips for dealing with this over the next few months so when he comes back I can deal with the outcome whatever way it goes?.

thanks to everyone for their help last time!
lola x

Buy a good book and feast upon a quart of chocolate ice cream

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Originally Posted by nymphetamine

buy a good book and feast upon a quart of chocolate ice cream

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Agreed. Exercise too. And don't get your hopes up! Keep them as low as you can so you can spare yourself pain if you get disappointed with the outcome.

You wrote: "i have to wait for him to reach out i think." How long will you wait? What will you do while waiting, besides chocolate ice cream and reading?

You should never wait for anyone. Moveon! Just because you move on does not mean he won't come back. You must show him and most importantly yourself that you are better then to wait for anyone. It is his loss and that is how you should view it.

Ha ha, you know the day after I wrote this, I met someone else. We've been seeing each other for a month now and it's going well. The best way to deal with things is to move on, but you have to accpet it first and that takes time x

Time brings acceptance and healing, and since you have met someone, its safe to say its his loss. Good luck, and keep expectations realistic.