I have been with my boyfriend off & on for the last 15 years we are now both 31. The problem is I have trouble letting go of our past. When we were in high school he messed around with this other girl in which a child was born. She first stated that the baby was not his but now to this very day he pays child support for a child that he claims is not his. This tears me up inside because I know deep down that this child is his, recently I discovered that he has to provide health insurance for this child and for some reason I just feel so stupid because I have been with him all these years and I don't have any type financial or medical benefits coming from him. Although w live together and our son receives medical coverage from him I just feel like I'm in a no win stuation. I love him to death but those whole baby s--- won't allow me to move forward with him because I feel so betrayed by him. Am I wrong for feeling this way or should I just stop living with the past hat still haunts or future?

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Originally Posted by lil momma31

I have been with my boyfriend off & on for the last 15 years we are now both 31. The problem is I have trouble letting go of our past. When we were in high school he messed around with this other girl in which a child was born. She first stated that the baby was not his but now to this very day he pays child support for a child that he claims is not his. This tears me up inside because I know deep down that this child is his, recently I discovered that he has to provide health insurance for this child and for some reason I just feel so stupid because I have been with him all these years and I do'nt have any type financial or medical benefits coming from him. Although w live together and our son receives medical coverage from him I just feel like I'm in a no win stuation. I love him to death but those whole baby s--- wo'nt allow me to move forward with him because I feel so betrayed by him. Am I wrong for feeling this way or should I just stop living with the past hat still haunts or future?

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If you ask yourself, "what is the best thing for my child?" in every decision that you make from this point on, you will be surprised at your answeres and die a reasonably happy old woman.

CUT your losses. Your child needs his father. Since you are living with the child's father, despite how you feel about him, (You will probably never really trust him, nor should you. He has proven himself untrustworthy) If he is good to your child and provides a decent income, ask him to marry you. If he will not, leave. It is not in your child's best interest to live with a freeloading man. Then do your best to raise your child without another man in the house that does not love you enough to marry you. If you do not want to marry, then ask yourself "what is my problem that I am incapable of true love". Then waite until you are ready. Do not let your child see you with many different men. Kids get messed up that way.