I'm in a really difficult situation at the moment. Basically about 6 months ago a developed a crush on Guy A. He's handsome, clever, funny etc... at the time he had a girlfriend, so I let it stay just a crush. At a gig I met this guy and we started flirting. Next thing I knew, it turned out this guy was really good mates with my crush.

At this stage I sort of realised anything happening between me and my crush was unlikely, so I began to date his friend. Problem was, this involved spending lots of time with Guy A, who was now single. And what was just a crush started to become a lot more than that. We had loads in common and at times got on better than I did with my boyfriend.

I've recently broken up with my boyfriend after a 3 month relationship for various reasons. I'd like to believe it was totally unrelated, but I know that my feelings for Guy A were a major factor. It's love, basically. This guy has never shown much sign of feeling the same, but I know he values me as a friend, we have a lot in common and it could work. I just want to know if it would be acceptable to go after him, since we're both now unattached. Or does my being his mates ex make it unacceptable for us to date, or me to try?

Not at all. You can date Guy A. Just because you went out with Guy B doesn't mean you can't go after Guy A now.

Go for it. Definitely. :D

As a guys point of view, it would really depend the kind of relationship he has with his buddy. I know if one of my friends had a girl he really liked and dated for a while, that would make her OFF LIMITS. Was your beak up hard on him? Feel it out, ask guy A what he thinks about the whole situation and BE HONEST!! I would say go for it, but test the waters first. Maybe ask him if he would like to go out for a drink or something. Best of luck to you!

Hi,
You want to go after someone who hasn't told you, in any way, that he likes you more than a friend?
Since you don't have a boyfriend now, it really doesn't matter who you go after. I would go for it.
The fact that the two boys are friends really has nothing to do with it. But, don't get your hopes up too high, cause it might just turn out that all he wants to be is your friend, nothing more.
This type of thing happens frequently, because in meeting people, they have friends. It's natural to be around their friends, and start liking them, too. So, anyone is "fair game", whether it's a friend or not.

If you truly feel attracted to Guy A and you believe that he feels the same for you, then go for it. It sounds like you never really got very serious with guy A's friend. If guy A is really interested in you, then he's not going to care about the fact that you had dated his friend. I think that, in general, men and women disagree on this particular issue so I'm sharing the male perspective with you.

Guy code - guys don't date guys ex's. Never - lots of bad can happen.

Too many other women. This isn't a fairy tale where everything ends happily ever after.

The other responses are not real world here. This isn't a movie. The first guy you dated will get pissed and the second guy probably won't have feelings for you.

Most normal guys don't date their friends ex's ever.

NO no no people. Im going to tell you the flat out truth. What do you mean with this don't date friends ex? The only reason for that rule to even exist within the realm of my world is straight out JEALOUSY. If your friend dumps this guy or girl that you like and they have no intention of hooking back up and he or she obviously don't care about him or her then what's the problem?Ill tell you the problem right now. Its called Jealousy. You people that accept that rule would rather see your ex unhappy than see them with another person. How selfish, people. Go for it. You always liked this dude. Like Nike-just do it.

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Most normal guys don't date their friends ex's ever.

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Want to make a bet? You must not know very many "normal" guys. I could spend hours telling you amusing stories about guys I've known dating friends' ex's. As for that matter, I did it myself a few times during my college years. That's not to suggest that it always turns out "happily ever after" but it does happen, quite often I might add.

Liking somebody isn't such a big deal. If you are really hitting it off with him, then I suggest you can think seriously about him. Compatibility is the key. Your exBF won't have any problem if you have broken up with him smoothly. If you have made some ridiculous accusations on your exBF as the cause of breaking-up, then he might turn hostile after knowing that you have started dating his friend. Talk to your exBF first and try to know how he feels about you now without telling him about your intentions. If he is cool with your next boyfriend, then you can approach guy A seriously. Think about it.
All the best...

Sense you broke up with guy B, I wouldn't pursue it quite yet. Make sure that feeling between the two you you (you and guyB) are set aside and there are no hash feelings taurds you. Then go after guy A. If it was maent to be and you two are happy together, then Guy B will except that his friend is happy. But, that's just my opinion. That's all I can offer you hun:)