Hi , any comments on my title and its thesis?

Project title:
An environmental management plan for the lower liesbeek (ll)

Thesis:
In order to achieve a sustainably working park there is a need to strategically manage the two rivers urban park (trup) in a holistic and integrated manner, whilst maintaining the broader frameworks outlined in the spatial development framework & phase one environmental management plan (sdf &emp1). To achieve this goal, this study suggests that trup be managed in divisions and management plans be drawn up for each sectional division. However, this study only focuses on the management of the ll as a division in the trup.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by snasheya

PROJECT TITLE:
AN ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT PLAN FOR THE LOWER LIESBEEK (LL)

THESIS:
IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE A SUSTAINABLY WORKING PARK THERE IS A NEED TO STRATEGICALLY MANAGE THE TWO RIVERS URBAN PARK (TRUP) IN A HOLISTIC AND INTEGRATED MANNER, WHILST MAINTAINING THE BROADER FRAMEWORKS OUTLINED IN THE SPATIAL DEVELOPMENT FRAMEWORK & PHASE ONE ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT PLAN (SDF &EMP1). TO ACHIEVE THIS GOAL, THIS STUDY SUGGESTS THAT TRUP BE MANAGED IN DIVISIONS AND MANAGEMENT PLANS BE DRAWN UP FOR EACH SECTIONAL DIVISION. HOWEVER, THIS STUDY ONLY FOCUSSES ON THE MANAGEMENT OF THE LL AS A DIVISION IN THE TRUP.

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Please don't type in all caps. On the Internet, that's the same as shouting. What's the "LL"? Should that be explained? I added a comma, a set of parantheses, and moved the word "only" to where it belongs.

In order to achieve a sustainably working park, there is a need to strategically manage the Two Rivers Urban Park (TRUP) in a holistic and integrated manner, while maintaining the broader frameworks outlined in the Spatial Development Framework and Phase One Environmental Management Plan (SDF & EMP1). To achieve this goal, this study suggests that TRUP be managed in divisions (and management plans be drawn up) for each sectional division. However, this study focuses only on the management of the LL as a division in the TRUP.

All right. Thank you for the advice and the help. I didn't know that writing in capital letters was considered as shouting.