My girlfriend and I dated for a year and about a month. I really didn't see the warning signs and all of a sudden I was dumped. Needless to say I was heart broken.. Since the breakup( which was about two months ago). I was beginning to feel like I was stronger.. Day by day.. After not speaking to her for a full month, I contacted her and we spoke (mainly I spoke.. ) I ended the conversation telling her how I felt.. I told her I still loved her with the same intensity it was before the breakup... What's crazy is that there is not a day that goes by that her smile, her laugh, and her eyes don't cross my mind. And though people say I should move on, I don't think I want to.. This is the person whom I saw myself spending the rest of my life with. I feel as though its impossible to be friends with her because of my feelings.. she however has moved on with some guy now, and she tells me this after I told her I loved, a couple of days later. Is there a way to win her love back? Or is it lost forever? Im not saying I was a perfect boyfriend, and I did make some mistakes such as lie about really dumb stuff.. I however never lied about my emotions.. I just feel like she has judged me I'm human am I not? Anybody got any good advice?

Manny - don't know how old you are

1] sorry - it sucks
2] she does not want you but in fact is throwing your emotions back in your face, and that kind of person is not worth being around
3] walk away, there are plenty of women out there.
4] no contact, if she contacts you, you are to busy with fun friends and or activities.
5] it'll be hard and there will be ups and downs, I hope the best for you and when you are ready again the next woman will be better - take your time.



Grace and Peace

The difference between missing someone and obsession is knowing when it is over. If she has moved on, and has someone else, there is little chance of getting back together.

And there is no way to "make" someone change and come back. So yes really it is time to move on.

Well let me first tell you that I dated this girl for about 3 years and she dumped me 4 months ago and now she has new boyfriend and she loves him. I also think about her every second, every day and I wonder what the heck happened. Usually when a girl dumps you and has a new b/f it isn't a rebound, sorry. We can never know what the future holds and we can't force things to happen and everything happens for a reason. And everyone is right move on, it's the healthy thing to do. Get involved with friends and activities. Stay strong and you will get through this.

You can not win anybody back. Time to let this go and move on.

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Originally Posted by Mannyg234

My girlfriend and I dated for a year and about a month. I really didnt see the warning signs and all of a sudden i was dumped. Needless to say i was heart broken.. Since the breakup( which was about two months ago). I was beginning to feel like I was stronger.. Day by day.. After not speaking to her for a full month, i contacted her and we spoke (mainly i spoke.. ) I ended the conversation telling her how i felt.. I told her i still loved her with the same intensity it was before the breakup... Whats crazy is that there is not a day that goes by that her smile, her laugh, and her eyes dont cross my mind. And though people say i should move on, i dont think i want to.. This is the person whom i saw myself spending the rest of my life with. I feel as though its impossible to be friends with her because of my feelings.. she however has moved on with some guy now, and she tells me this after i told her i loved, a couple of days later. Is there a way to win her love back? Or is it lost forever? Im not saying i was a perfect boyfriend, and i did make some mistakes such as lie about really dumb stuff.. I however never lied about my emotions.. I just feel like she has judged me i'm human am i not? anybody got any good advice?

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Well to the guy that asked I am 19 years old about to go on 20, In my second year of college.. But I guess everybody else is right. I guess I just need to suck it up, and I guess just be happy that she is... What more can I do?

From a girls poin of view.. .
She was already interested in or already dating this other guy while you were with her.
I do not think she sees you the same way you see her, most relationships are like this.
But you have to think, do you want someone who cares for you less then you do for her or someone who cares for you more. To me she is not worth it! I know you are hurt, but the less you worry, think, talk about her the better you are and the faster you will find a new love. Remember don't talk about this ex to any new possible girlfriends.
Good luck

I know a lot of thoughts must be running through your head, its normal. You begin to question what went wrong and why did this happen to me and what did I do? Really think about it, if she wanted you, she would call u. also, your going to have the tendency to think about all the wonderful things you two shared and its going to hurt bad when you remember stuff like that. I have trouble sleeping, I have a lot of nightmares about my ex and I. Once time passes on eventually you will realize that she wasn't right for you. Im sure you have heard the say "time heals all", I don't believe in that because if you don't do anything and sit on your butt all day you will feel like this forever, it all depends on what you do with your time. You don't want to be like this forever!! The faster you accept what happened the faster you will move on and feel better.

It sounds like this one's over. For whatever reason, she wasn't happy so she ended things. You need to forget about her and move on. I know it's hard at first but with time it does get easier.

Its just nuts now that I think about it. What kind of effect a woman can have on a man's heart.. Never in a million years did I believe that love would be this painful, yet I'm happy to have experienced this. They say everything happens for a reason, and maybe from this situation I will learn a plethora of things... I find myself though still resentful of my ex. I mean there she is happy and enjoying life, while I sat here in my depression, forced things that just where not meant to be. Ahhh women can't live with them can't live without them.. lol

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Originally Posted by Mannyg234

Its just nuts now that I think about it. What kind of effect a woman can have on a man's heart.. Never in a million years did I believe that love would be this painful, yet I'm happy to have experienced this. They say everything happens for a reason, and maybe from this situation i will learn a plethora of things... I find myself though still resentful of my ex. I mean there she is happy and enjoying life, while i sat here in my depression, forced things that just where not meant to be. Ahhh women can't live with them can't live without them.. lol

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Love can be the most painful thing next to death of someone close. But, now it is time for you to step up and be a man, prove to yourself that you can do it, cause I know you can. Don't let those memories get into your head, but if they do, keep yourself busy and if you have things around the house that remind you of her put them in a box and keep it somewhere until one day you can look at them without being sad.

All I can say is you never know. Only time will tell. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I am totally heart broken he is seeing someone else now and I genuinly do think she is a rebound. He has never been on his own and she is totally rank but anyway its besides the point. Whether she is a rebound or not he has got with her and hurt me, crippled my heart and anyone who is worth it wouldn't do that. You have to think if you get back together could you face that. Would you be strong enough not to bring it up in an argument. I broke up with the same guy a year ago.. he sated seeing someone else and then came back to me because he realised what we had. Once can be dealt with its hard but when they have done it once it will prob happen again and again and they will always think you will just take them back. I still love my ex more than anything and just want to be with the person that he was. I love him with all my heart however I beliveve in the small chance of us ever getting back together I need to be strong enough to be on my own and getting back together needs to be on your terms

Buddy, this is how it goes. Most of us have been through this, now its your turn.

Hurts like hell. You don't want to move on, you want it fixed. You want not to feel like crap. Mostly you want to not think about her if you can't be with her and it just doesn't go away fast enough. And you definitely don't want her to move on before you are in a better place...

So... sucks to be you. Been there myself. The good news and the bad is most people go through this at least a few times and each time you get better at it. The first big, huge love that crashes and burns just sucks rocks. The ones after hurt like hell too... but somehow you get to understand better that some of this is just the journey.

Some relationships are great, but not meant to last. Some are just learning relationships. Doesn't mean they don't tie themselves to your heart and soul. Doesn't mean you don't still hurt when another one hits the fan... but really... it honestly is just a part of learning and loving and its just all a part of the path.

I've majorly loved four women... others I've liked/loved/lusted after... but four were in the category of The Girl I Wanted to Be With. Well... one crashed and burned (thank God in hindsight), one fizzled by bad timing, one went nuclear cause she couldn't keep her pants on with other men, and the last one somehow managed to decide I was worth keeping and married me.

It took me a dozen years to know these women, love them, get over them, straighten up my head, waste time mourning the losses, and move on.

So... I know it seems nobody else will ever really quite know your situation. We don't know the girl. We don't know your experiences. Trust me... you aren't that special and neither is she. We've been through this and now you have. Take your time. Hurt. Ask questions. Get mad. Eventually move on.

One love took me almost 2 years to get over. Another I walked away from and moved on within a couple of months. Why was it faster? Id been through it and knew I was only wasting my own time mourning the loss of the girl.

So you skate/bike/whatever hard enough and you learn how to tuck and roll when you lose control. You do the same thing emotionally. You "try on" relationships and when they crash you learn from what went right and what went wrong. And again, sometimes nothing was wrong but "bad timing". I'm happily married, but there's a girl right now in Texas I could be with, if it were not for meeting at the wrong time in our lives, before I met my wife. No regrets, but I know timing was the only reason we weren't together longer.

No regrets buddy. Scars make us more interesting.

In time you will learn to shake it off. To remember what you did right, to try not to screw up the things you screwed up, and mostly to understand that the relationship isn't a judgement against you or for you... sometimes things don't work out, even when you do everything "right"...

Well I did something so stupid this weekend, I can't even believe I did it. Well I was at a party on Friday night and I got so drunk, anyway I did what you guys are probably already thinking. I drunk-dialed her. My friends at the party told me I was on the phone with her for about an hour, pleading with her begging her to reconsider. I told her countless times that I still loved her. I understand that I need that no contact with her, but I find it extremely difficult to forget her number, since it is already in my memory. Though I may be considered young for this, I saw this girl as my better half. She has all the qualities I would ever want. The looks, personality, career goal, driven, fun, loving, and above all caring. I can't keep denying my feelings, lying to myself. I am still deeply in love with her and I don't know what to do?

[QUOTE=kp2171]buddy, this is how it goes. Most of us have been through this, now its your turn.
You gave me so much advice with this, and I thank you very much. But Its hard to let this one go, I really wish I could give back my memories of her, but I can't therefore I put myself in this situation, which seems more like a waiting game they anything else.

note I never, ever said it was easy. That sick to your stomach feeling?. yeah, we've all had it but that doesn't make your day or night any better. You still feel like crap, even if we've all been there and know how you feel.

my first big love was my HS sweetheart. She ended up being my college girl too... as we dated 7 years (2 HS, 4 college) one after. I know about being connected to someone. I know about plans and dreams. And I know about night after night of wishing she wasn't in your head.

it sucks to be you.

but its OK. Really. I promise.

I don't promise it'll be OK tomorrow. I don't promise that you will ever completely reconcile your frustrations and bad feelings. It took me over a year to really start to get over my ex. Even after I moved on, after I started dating again and spending time with people I thought were interesting, shed pop up in my head.

it took time but it got better. But it took a lot longer than id like.

the end of a big relationship isn't much different than the death of a loved one. You go through the same mourning, sense of loss, struggles with missing them and thinking about them at all the wrong moments. Eventually, in time, the real hurt goes away. There still might a "spot" missing... when a loved one dies you always have this void. When a relationship dies the void is different... more like trying for the gold medal and failing... you tried hard and it didn't work.

a little anger helps. I don't think we need to resolve all our issues immediately. Once I started getting mad about how I was used and manipulated it got easier to say "oh well, whatever"... and in the end you just have to believe its another learning process.

the drunk dialing... well it happens but try to not do that. All you've done is let her know she's still in control of you. Begging someone for anything isn't sexy or appealing.

so... keeping yourself busy with yourself is the thing to do. Hang with friends if you can. Do something's differently to mix things up, meet new people. But let yourself feel like crap, and then get pi$$ed a little.

she isn't thinking about your emotional state... she's thinking about hers. She is about what she wants. That's not bad, but its not in your best interests.

I've loved some fantastic women. I've lost some too. They all had great things about them that made me want to be with them. Those things don't go away when their affections turn elsewhere.

but I honestly think each time it crashed and burned I learned more about myself and more about what I really need from a partner. Each was a learning experience, even if the endings were painful. Its just how it is.

eventually we get it right. Just takes time and you get smacked in the face now and then with a 4x4.