I have a son who is two, the child's father and I aren't married never have been, we don't have any custody papers, we have never been to court for custody, but I have been dating a guy who is in the military and he lives about 500 miles away from where I live now, and the child's father lives down the road from me, but we are planning on getting married soon and I want to take my child with me, but his father wants the child to stay here with him, yes his father is a good father to him, but I believe that the child should grow up with a mother and fatherly figure, my child's father has said that he had no interest in moving on or meeting any one else he juse wants to keep the child for himself, but I love the child and I want to take him with me, what would I have to do to be able to take my child with me?

GO to family court and the judge will decision.

With no formal custody order in place, you can take the child anywhere you want and so can the father.

Of course, this is not a good idea.

If you do move with the child, the father will know and file a custody suit against you.

It's always a must to have a formal custody agreement or court order. Go to your local courthouse and ask if there is a custody office or department. There will be papers there for you to file for custody.

OR, if you and the father agree to a visitation schedule, this too should be put in writing and filed in the courthouse so that it can be enforced.

If you and the father cannot agree to some arrangement, then you will have a mediation meeting with a hearing officer or go to court, depending on the state you live in, county, etc. Then a decision will be made as to where and with whom the child will live primarily and what the visitation schedule will be.

I would recommend getting a lawyer to help you if the father is going to fight your move.

So you want to take a 2 year old boy away from his dad and move him 500 miles away to be with a man you are dating and want to marry. I think you should consider your son a bit more, he sounds like he does have a father figure already, his dad! I can't help but sense you are thinking more about what is best for you, and using this father figure thing as an excuse. A child should come first.

Think about your child. What will you do in 10yrs time when he asks who is real Dad is? Yes a fatherly figure being with mum would be great and stable, but you need to do it in such a way that your ex is still involved with his child or you might find yourself in a position where both your ex and child will never forgive you. Think about all the children who's fathers don't want anything to do with them. You are lucky to have an ex who wants to play a role in his child's life. Your ex should not be giving full custody for you to move away 500 miles either. I'm afraid its your partner who is going to have to make the move, otherwise your going to have to face the sacrifice.
Please don't let this get nasty between you and your ex, your child should always remain first priority and he needs his Mum and Dad!

I wouldn't advocate taking a child away from his father... I would recommend going to court but your going to need a good lawyer to represent your case because your making yourself look bad by saying your going to move with someone your not married to so far away from your child's father... you may need to get married to avoid looking like the bad one

This thread was opened 2 years ago and the poster has not been back since.