I been dating a married man for almost two years now . I am 20 and he 29 year old handsome business man. Don't get me wrong I am not with him because of the money or his looks because I am not materialistic, I really love him. We are so emotionally attached. We really love each other. The worst part is we have been sleeping together lately and I really enjoy the sex and I seem to not get enough of it. I don't know what to do.. he was two beautiful children that I don't ever want to hurt and I don't ever want him and his wife to get divorced because my parents were divorced and that caused me to have a rough childhood. I know what I am doing is wrong yet I can't stop myself from seeing him. I really love this guy and sometimes I see myself wishing for some sick wishes. I am not happy that I have to hide him from people and my family and some of my friends. I tell him to leave me alone on daily basis and I swear that won't ever see him or be with him but I usually forget that promise and enjoy his company and forget everything else. I seriously need help so help me out.

What exactly do you want from us? A pat on the back, reinforcing sympathy, understanding and acceptance, a gentle go for it girl attitude? You may find that from someone but not from me.

You say you know it is wrong but you continue to see this man. You tell him no and you keep seeing him. He is not going to divorce his wife. Why should he? He goes home to her and he can still have his mistress. That is good deal for him. He spends holidays with his wife and any other major day most likely. He has his cake and is eating it too.

Too bad for you - you are not in the same boat. You do not want to ever hurt his children? How much lying can you do? If you truly felt that way, you would honestly stop with this man. Saying no and meaning it. No Contact means just that. No phone calls, no email, no letters, no text, etc. Do not accept any contact from him, at home or at work. You are busy from now on. Great sex can be found in other places - not just with this married man.

Do you realize just how much damage you are doing to yourself? By removing yourself from single life and meeting single men, your life is on hold. When his wife finds out, do you really think he will run to you? No, he will get on his knees and beg his wife for forgiveness. He needs to keep his family intact. He has too much to lose. By you waiting around, you have nothing to gain.

Get some backbone and just say no to this guy.

You are a awlful person who is being used as a sex toy for this older man.
No feeling sorry for you, you should be ashamed of yourself and all that will happen is you will help in destroying his marriage, and he will not want you then either.

You need to move, get away from him, no contact what so ever. Period,
You will never be happy ever living like this.

If I thought back to being 20 years old I may be able to sympathize with you but being almost forty and divorced because of numerous afffairs I cannot find any sympathy or even empathy for you. Do you honestly think his wife doesn'r have any clue that something is wrong in HER marriage? You are reaping the benefits without having to go through any of the every day stuff i.e... fix the washer, fix the car, honey the kids need coats, sweetheart will you please go to dinner at mom's with me, school conferences etc. You are nothing more than a deversion to him. Do not believe half of what a married man tells you. He doesn't want you to know the truth or you would leave quick. Do you honestly think he could ever be with someone forever that he became involved in from an affair? He would always wonder (and so should you) if you (or he) could EVER truly be faithful.

Quit cheating yourself, leave him alone and get on with your life. I'm sure you can find happiness elsewhere.

Good Luck

Tz

You don't want to hurt his kids? What a joke. Every time you pull him away from his family, you are hurting them.
Get some self control and leave this family alone.

Men who cheat on their wives and risk destroying their children's home are pigs.

Women who cheat with married men are lower than pigs.

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Originally Posted by Queen0804

I been dating a married man for almost two years now . I am 20 and he 29 year old handsome business man. don't get me wrong I am not with him because of the money or his looks because I am not materialistic, I really love him. We are so emotionally attached. we really love each other. the worst part is we have been sleeping together lately and I really enjoy the sex and I seem to not get enough of it. I don't know what to do.. he was two beautiful children that i don't ever want to hurt and I don't ever want him and his wife to get divorced because my parents were divorced and that caused me to have a rough childhood. I know what I am doing is wrong yet I can't stop myself from seeing him. I really love this guy and sometimes I see my self wishing for some sick wishes. I am not happy that I have to hide him from people and my family and some of my friends. I tell him to leave me alone on daily basis and I swear that wont ever see him or be with him but i usually forget that promise and enjoy his company and forget everything else. i seriously need help so help me out.

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Listen, You know this is wrong but yet you're invovled. I can understand what you're going through because I been there. What you have to understand is that a married man does not only steal your heart but have also stolen you're brain. You can't put your life on old for a married man. When I was in your shoes, I use to enjoy spending time with him but at the end of the day, I started picture him going home to sleep with his wife. Obviously, his wife is not giving him everything he desire so therefore, he bonded with you to make up for whatever he's missing. It was really have for me to end the relationship with him, but it was something I had to do. Just think of what he's doing to his wife. Think of what he's doing to his kids. Ask yourself, if you was in their shoes, who you want that for u? Or even your kids?

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Originally Posted by Queen0804

I been dating a married man for almost two years now . I am 20 and he 29 year old handsome business man. don't get me wrong I am not with him because of the money or his looks because I am not materialistic, I really love him. We are so emotionally attached. we really love each other. the worst part is we have been sleeping together lately and I really enjoy the sex and I seem to not get enough of it. I don't know what to do.. he was two beautiful children that i don't ever want to hurt and I don't ever want him and his wife to get divorced because my parents were divorced and that caused me to have a rough childhood. I know what I am doing is wrong yet I can't stop myself from seeing him. I really love this guy and sometimes I see my self wishing for some sick wishes. I am not happy that I have to hide him from people and my family and some of my friends. I tell him to leave me alone on daily basis and I swear that wont ever see him or be with him but i usually forget that promise and enjoy his company and forget everything else. i seriously need help so help me out.

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You seem 2 have an addiction much similar to a drug. You said you don't want him 2 get diviorced or his kids 2 get hurt but that's what your doing every time you c him you are hurting these people. You need 2 do what's best for you and the people around u. this can sometimes be hard but what you need 2 do is push him away for good. If his wife finds out then you will hurt them more and more every time you c him. You need a holiday or a distraction. Have you tried a singles bar. That may help distract you and also push him away. As sum1 once told me "you have 2 b cruel 2 b kind"

You are worth more than the crumbs that you are being thrown by this married guy that
You are having an affair with. You sound like a loving caring person and I wish that you had the same regard for yourself.

YOU DESERVE TO BE WITH A MAN THAT IS WILLING TO MAKE YOU HIS ONE AND ONLY WOMAN!!

Please get therapy to raise yourself esteem. You need to know that you are a beautiful spirit that is deserving of TRUE LOVE!!

Much love and blessings!

Whoa, for the people who think that there has to be something lacking in his wife... NO, there is something lacking in him. Namely honesty, integrity, loyalty, decency, empathy,. I ran out of 'y' words. If he is not satisfied in his marriage he needs to work on it with his wife, not impress some younger girl with the great sex he has learned by being married.

I have nothing to say as all these people have taken every word from my mouth. You are a hypocrite. You are doing everything you wish not to. You are destroying his family. If you truly "love" him, leave him alone. He has a problem. And so do you. You came to the wrong place for sympathy, as a lot of people here are married, engaged, in a relationship, or know the pain of cheating. You won't get any sympathy here.

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Originally Posted by Queen0804

I been dating a married man for almost two years now . I am 20 and he 29 year old handsome business man. don't get me wrong I am not with him because of the money or his looks because I am not materialistic, I really love him. We are so emotionally attached. we really love each other. the worst part is we have been sleeping together lately and I really enjoy the sex and I seem to not get enough of it. I don't know what to do.. he was two beautiful children that i don't ever want to hurt and I don't ever want him and his wife to get divorced because my parents were divorced and that caused me to have a rough childhood. I know what I am doing is wrong yet I can't stop myself from seeing him. I really love this guy and sometimes I see my self wishing for some sick wishes. I am not happy that I have to hide him from people and my family and some of my friends. I tell him to leave me alone on daily basis and I swear that wont ever see him or be with him but i usually forget that promise and enjoy his company and forget everything else. i seriously need help so help me out.

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First of all, even if his family doesn't know he's CHEATING on his wife with you, you're still hurting them. You and everyone else knows its wrong to have a relationship with a married man. Its disgusting the way no one has enough self control to say no and stick to it.
Tell me this: what do you think is going to happen between you and him? Do you honestly believe he's going to give up his wife and kids for a twenty year old he calls up for a good time? Do you honestly think he loves you?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but things between you and him ARE not going to get better, they're going to get worse and you're the one that's going to end up hurting...

You should know what the right thing to do is, but seeing as you've got yourself in this position maybe you've forgot what the right thing is all togather: end it... for his sake for your sake for his kids' sake...

And if you don't want to hide a relationship... dont get into one where being with the guy is wrong.

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I seriously need help so help me out.

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Yes you seriously need help from a trained professional, who can guide you through the process of loving yourself enough so you will not be treated like a whore, by an uncaring excuse for a human male.

Your avatar suggests maybe you are male?

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Originally Posted by cerisa

Your avatar suggests maybe you are male?

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Who's avatar suggests they are male?

What you are doing is wrong yes, but do I think you are an awful person, NO! To everyone else... I really don't think she's asking for sympathy, but advice as to how to quit feeling the way she is feeling. I'm 24 and I know how it is to love someone who, for whatever reason, you could never truly be in a relationship with. Everyone keeps saying just walk away, but it's obviously not that easy (although we often wish it was). Sure I can say that if I was in the situation I would tell him to leave me alone, but until I'm put in the situation I don't truly know what I'd do.

As for advice... I do agree though that you need to leave him alone. No matter how much you "love" him, he can never truly love you. His heart belongs with his wife, his kids. You have to understand that in every sense of the word, he is using you. Don't sell yourself short. Don't let life pass you by as you wait for an inevitable heartbreak. Talk to your friends. Have them help you to completely get your mind off this guy. Don't answer his calls or respond to his texts (no matter how sweet and sincere he may sound). There is only one thing he can possibly get out of this relationship and that is sex. Everything that matters to him, he shares with his wife. The sooner you find that out the easier it will be to walk away. If you have to, change your phone number. Do whatever it takes to cut ties with this guy. He is only holding you back from the possible love you could endure! Don't set yourself up for failure... it's not worth it, he's not worth it, no one is. Good luck girl and message me if you ever want to talk!

<3 Leslie

I think if people truly understood (or cared) the hurt that an affair caused - there would be fewer affairs. As good as he makes you feel and as happy as you are - on the flip side of that is how much PAIN you are causing another person.
Your actions in an affair don't just effect you. They effect everyone. His wife, his kids, you, him, etc.
It can divide families. (not just husband and wife)

And I truly believe that what goes around comes around. If you continue this, knowing the damage you are doing to another person and you just brush it off - when you finally move on and find TRUE happiness, these actions will creep back up and bite you.
Then (and only then) will you know the pain that you are causing.

You say you need help.
WRONG!

His wife needs the help. She is the one that is being mislead and lied too.
His children need the help. They are the ones that are suffering because daddy is not home.

You don't need help, you want acceptance... but you are not going to get it from me.

What a shame and waste of your life and love. You know this is wrong and you know you should stop. You admit that. So why don't you? Lack of self-discipline and self-confidence. And it's just going to get harder for you.

Brace yourself also. Men who cheat - cheat and cheat and cheat. How do you know you're the only one? How do you know he won't tire of you and find another affair? It happens. And then where are you but pathetic and broken-hearted. I know you think it can't happen, but it does - EVERYDAY!

So... it's your game. You can spend it pining away being a victim or you can take charge of your life, find an available man, and live life fully. Right now, your just existing pathetically. Stop. You deserve so much more.

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Originally Posted by Queen0804

I been dating a married man for almost two years now . I am 20 and he 29 year old handsome business man. don't get me wrong I am not with him because of the money or his looks because I am not materialistic, I really love him. We are so emotionally attached. we really love each other. the worst part is we have been sleeping together lately and I really enjoy the sex and I seem to not get enough of it. I don't know what to do.. he was two beautiful children that i don't ever want to hurt and I don't ever want him and his wife to get divorced because my parents were divorced and that caused me to have a rough childhood. I know what I am doing is wrong yet I can't stop myself from seeing him. I really love this guy and sometimes I see my self wishing for some sick wishes. I am not happy that I have to hide him from people and my family and some of my friends. I tell him to leave me alone on daily basis and I swear that wont ever see him or be with him but i usually forget that promise and enjoy his company and forget everything else. i seriously need help so help me out.

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I am absolutely disgusted by your post. What you are doing is deplorable. The way that your post begins... you are not materialistic.. no one cares about what your opinions or views are because what your doing speaks volumes. You are destroying a family. Those two 'beautiful children's' innocence is being scraped away every time you are with him. His poor wife is probably on this or some other site looking for advice on how to deal with her marital issues as you sit saying you love him. If you real loved him you'd let him be a decent man. He may not be, doesn't seem as though he is, but you are aiding something that will be the biggest regret of his life.

Evaluate this sentence and see if you can live with it. You are the biggest mistake this man will ever make.

No? Then leave, change your number, leave the state, commit yourself! Do whatever it takes to get away and learn to love yourself so that you don't need the affirmation of a man that does not love you to feel like your life is worth living.