I'm a 19 girl and in a relationship with a 20 year old male. We have been together for a while now and are talking about moving to the next step of the relationship and becoming sexually active. My boyfriend is a lot more sexual than I am and he has always mentioned it and would have done it from the start, but he has waited and now I feel ready, but know understands me with this next issue.

Basically I'm worried about sex, because I'm a virign and he isn't. I'm totally innocent and lets face it its embarrassing for me, because I wouldn't have a clue where to begin. I'm scared of getting naked. My friends says if I feel this strongly then I'm not ready, but its not a case of not being ready, I would have had sex a long time ago if it wasn't for one thing the REAL deep down reason is that I have stretch marks by the dozen in my sexual areas such as boobs, hips and top of thighs. My friends say they're hardly noticeable and not to worry, yet know understands how depressed I get, I've felt suicidal over them because this is the reason I have never allowed myself to get into a relationship before. And now the time has come I'm freaking out, because I'm scared ill disappoint my boyfriend and I'm petrified ill be left humiliated. I actually can't express my worry and anxiety because I really don't want to loose him as I'm emtionally attached to him. My worry is telling him, and how I actually bring it into conversation, as I feel I'm just totally going to let him down and destroy everything because of my marks!

Please please help me

whoa whoa honey! You have no reason to feel suicidel over stretch marks. Look I know EXACTLY how you feel! The first time I had sex I was so nervous that my stretch marks would be noticed! I have these huge stretch marks on my upper legs near my thighs caused from when I gained weight rapidly and then lost it, sometimes they blend in with my skin and sometimes they are purple, and to me very noticeable and ugly. My boyfriend doesn't care though! Want to know what he did?

He stroked them, looked me in the eye, and said "What stretch marks? I just see beauty..."

To some it may seem corny... but to me it was romantic and I blushed a lot when he said it, cause they made me feel ugly. Listen... you won't disappoint your boyfriend just cause you have some bodily flaws. If this guy really likes you, and is serious about you, then he won't care that they are there, he will still find you just as beautiful no matter what.

As for being nervous about not knwoing what to do... lol what virgin doesn't feel like that when their first time comes around? Look just move against him as he moves towards you, if you scared about pain just ask him to be gentle at first. Once the pain eases it will start to feel so good that your body just reacts. Wrapping your arms around his neck, gripping his hair, scratching his back, what ever your body decides is right in the heat of the moment. Don't worry about it! As time goes on you will get "better", as far as your boyfriend is concerned you may be good from the start!

Look just don't worry about the stretch marks or being klumsy or something in sex. If he really loves you then they will be invisible to him, or maybe make you seem more beautiful, and like I said... you'll know what to do when it happens. And if it's any consolation... I'm STILL shy about sex ^.^ and I STILL don't think I'm doing half the stuff I do right... but my boyfriend says I am... so oh well...

I argee with BiWiccanAndProud, if your botyfriend loves you and cares for you he's not going to notice stretch marks.

As for being nervous or scared.. hun, don't worry everyone is their first time. If you feel comfertable tell your boyfriend that your are a little nervous or scared.. he will make you feel better.

My first time I was nervous and scared too. But my boyfriend said "its ok u dnt have to worry. Im here for you always"

Talk to him if you feel up to it. It might make you realzie if your ready of not knowing how he feels

Whoa, jeez. I'm going to say, don't do it. You might think you're ready physically, but mentally/emotionally you have some growing to do. As do most girls your age. How will you be able to relax and enjoy a beautiful expererience if your freaking out anyway? Just start working on loving yourself... then let him love you. ;)

I don't really think you're ready. You might say u are physically but I don't think u are emotionally ready. I totally don't think that you should be stressing yourself with strech marks because some women do have them and I don't think they find that huge problem. I have them on my legs and my and I don't think my boyfriend even realizes it. There are little that we notice and guys don't even know about and I truly think this is one of them. Besides your first time should be memorable and special so don't let anything stand in the way. If you continue feeling this way maybe you should wait until you're totally ready in everyway or trying talking to him that might help.

I appreciate all your answers so much, and special thank you BiWiccanAndProud as you helped make me feel more comfortable about my major issues concerning my stretch marks. Can any of you help me in suggesting a way I could mention this to him, so that he knows how much it really effects me. I don't want to just burst out and say I have stretch marks, but I need to tell him, so he's aware. It just makes me distraught as I still can't help but feel its going to be a major let down, as he is rather a sexual guy (and don't get me wrong he's never pressurised me and once he knows my problem and if he accepts it ill be fine and really want sex) but I just feel upset because he keeps telling me how beautiful I am and how smooth and lovely my skin is, amongst other things, but I think that's really nice but I can't help but feel guilty that I have them and feel that I really am going to disappoint him so much.

Another thing that worries me, is I KNOW lads talk, and because we sometimes work together we know the same people and I'm scared that I may be humiliated. I'm sure and would like to expect that he would respect me, but I KNOW that any lads nice or not talk to their guy mates about sex etc! Is this all true?

Well cheeky, if you want to bring up the stretch marks here's something simple to do. Tell him you don't know if you can have sex with him or not, that you are nervous about what he will think of her body. He is either going to ask you why or say how beautiful your body is and that there is no worry. If you are so nervous, look down, so he can see your face, but you don't have to see his, then just bluntly say, I have stretch marks. If he says they can't be that bad or something then show him a little skin where they are, and express your worries.

As for the guys sharing sex stories... well... you... they do. For instance, when me and my ex broke up and I was talking about how he had been using me and that they were all right to my friends, he spread a rumor we had sex. It's not ALWAYS like that though! My current boyfriend often calls his friend from another town and will tell him some of the stuff we do in sex, or say what I'm like, just regular conversation nothing big, truthfully I share some of our sex stories with my girlfriend. I'm not trying to scare you, and don't let this keep you from sharing something as intimate as sex with this guy if you really like him. Just bring up the subject that you have heard that guys often switch sex stories and ask him to promise, to give you his word, that he will never make you regret having sex with him by doing something as juvenile as spreading rumors about what you did. You got to trust him...

BiWiccanAndProud YOU ARE ABOLSUTELY WONDERFUL! I've never receieved such good feedback in all my life. You have made me feel a lot more confident. I'm obviously still very worried about the situation, I just hope he understands. It's the way he says he looks forward to seeing me in lingerie and I can't help but think, he's not going to like the sight, and therefore possibly not want to be with me! Its so hard, but if he does react like that I guess I've learnt a lesson and he's not worth it, but I'm so emtionally attached to him, I don't want to lose him... and if he does react like that the humiliation I will face is just unbareable which is why I have put it off for so long!
Thank you so much, you're an absolute star! :D

*blush* I don't think I'm all that. I just was in the same shoes as you once. Look if he does react negatively to your stretch marks, then he really isn't worth it and you deserve better. Someone who sees past any bodly faults to the beautiful you. And if things do turn out bad look, I'm here to help you if you need me. Like I said I was in the same situation as you once... now... I never notice my stretch marks and I'm sure my boyfriend does either ^.^ and he makes me feel more beautiful then any man ever has.

I know it's none of my business,or relevant to the topic,but are you sure that that guy isn't just after your viginity?it has happened many times that sexually active guys get all romntic with a girl,then get what they want and throw her away like a used siringe!I have read many casses in which women get dumped after having sex and every woman wants her first time to be memmorable and with the right guy.is he the right guy?can you trust him to stick with you and to respect and admonish u? Some boys say "If you love me, you'll have sex with me," and some girls believe that if they do it, they will keep him. But having sex with a guy doesn't make him stay, because when he's ready to take off, believe me, he'll take off anyway.
Here's a real life article that you should read
Teens About Sex
I am NO judge of you and your boyfriend,and since I don't know him I cannot say anything for sure.may behe really is a pearl in a box of edible oysters and as faithfull as biwiccanandproud's boyfriend or unfaithfull like many others.if you think he is the right guy and wish to try to get rid of the STRECH MARKS then follow this site for removal of marks without lasers;

a home remedy to remove or fade stretch marks without laser surger

Or for more info;

Stretch Marks

Personally speaking,I don't think you should worry about him not liking your stretch marks,maybe he doesn't mind at all.probably... if he truly loves u.

How long have you guys been together for?