My ex left me almost 5 months ago. I haven't spoken to her in 2 months after I found out
She was seeing someone else right after leaving me. I emailed her and told her how I felt about everything and it wasnt' nice. Since then I can't seem to let her go. She was my first
Lesbian relationship that I had and probably will be the last. But the thing is I really connected with her and I really was in love with her, although it did take me awhile to
Accept the relationship. In the end I really fell for her.

I have been feeling lonely and was thinking about contacting her, and asked for some sort of sign if I should. Well I don't know why but I went on My Space and for the hell of it put in her name only to find a picture of her and her girlfriend and her stating that she finally found someone to complete her. That hurt like hell. I know I need to get over all this but I really don't know how. She was my first serious relationship. I am on medication for depression already. I don't live in the same state as her anymore and it doesn't help that I am trouble finding a job. I moved near my family but haven't any friends, and it's so hard because there are days when I am fine and then I have a bad day and everything reminds me of her.

Now it's worse because I have seen her new friend. How can someone that acted so in love with you one moment and then treat you like crap the next. In her last email she told me she knew our relationship wasn't going to be long term after 6 months. I don't understand why she stayed with me if she felt that. Is this normal to still care for someone after 5 months. Up until I saw the picture I still had hope that maybe she would come back to me. She looks so messed up in the picture, I know she is doing drugs that was one of the reasons she left me was because I didn't like her smoking pot. Who knows what else she is doing. I will not go back to that My Space page even though part of me still wants to. I am just so screwed up now, how do you stop loving and caring about someone?

Oh honey... yes it's normal to still miss and want someone you loved after five months. To be truthful, the pain may never go away, it may dull, but it will never go away. Don't give up hope though! You'll find that right girl or guy you will! And she may have stayed with you, in hopes that she was wrong, but only found the relationship wasn't want she wanted. I also know how you feel on the drugs thing.

My exboyfriend (who used me) smoked and drank a whole lot and I didn't like it either. I asked him to stop or at least tone down. When we broke up and he found a new girl, he said she was better then me cause she didn't try to change him, that it was his body (Later on he tried to say that the drinking was why he used me... ironic is it not?). You know if they don't want to listen to you they won't. There's no changing and addict if they don't want to change, even for you. I also know what it's like to be stabbed through the heart by a girl you really like. My first girlfriend was long distance... and I had started to fall for her only to find that she was engaged to another guy in her state... and pregnant.

Look don't give up on lesbian relationships if you feel that is what will make you happy, and don't give up on guys either... they aren't jerks. If anything else just read my sig ^.~, it's true. Good luck.