I am a freshman in college and have been hanging out with a girl who I met at a cultural show afterparty.

We danced that day and she had a good time and told me we had to hang out again.

Throughout the next week, she would message me and we would talk about all sorts of things in our past as well as stumbling across the topic "what we both are looking for in a relationship."

At first she was reluctant to admit it, but she eventually told me she had a high school boyfriend, but was not happy with him. After that, she never brought it up again.

We have both been playing "the game", or edging on the flirting lines of friends and something else. We have danced at multiple dance parties, gone out to dinner on a "double date" (although she paid for her own food), and she has hung out in my dorm as we listened to music together.

However, I have not made an aggressive move to kiss her.

I drove her to the airport with a friend and she told me we have to hang out when she gets back. All was well...

However, it is the end of thanksgiving break and she did not break up with her high school boyfriend as I had thought she would.

I am unsure what to do at this point. Do I pick up where we left off? Has she reaffirmed to be with him over me? I understand breakups are difficult and nobody wants to go through with that process, but what do I do?

Pure and simple ask her how she feels about you. See if this is something worth following up on. Ask her if she feels the same as you do.

Isn't that a bit straightforward?

Well it sounds to me like this has been going on for a while. And you don't have to ask straight forward if you want to be subtle, ask her how the relationship is going with her boyfriend. If she says it's still not going good then drop some hints that you are a wonderful canidate to take his place.

You can't continue to be the "other guy". If you agree to continue to do this then she has no real reason to break up with her boyfriend. Why not have her cake and eat it too if given the chance. You are correct, it is hard to break up with someone, but that something that has to be done before you can have a true relationship with someone else. You do however need to tell her how you feel. Find out how she feels about you. Honestly I don't think she does want to be with the guy that she's with, she just doesn't want to hurt him. Well you need to either make a stand or sit down. Either tell her how you feel and find out if she feels the same way, or go to bed knowing that she could be in his arms. Good luck and I wish you the best.

<3 Leslie

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Originally Posted by joeromero

I am a freshman in college and have been hanging out with a girl who I met at a cultural show afterparty.

We danced that day and she had a good time and told me we had to hang out again.

Throughout the next week, she would message me and we would talk about all sorts of things in our past as well as stumbling across the topic "what we both are looking for in a relationship."

At first she was reluctant to admit it, but she eventually told me she had a highschool boyfriend, but was not happy with him. After that, she never brought it up again.

We have both been playing "the game", or edging on the flirting lines of friends and something else. We have danced at multiple dance parties, gone out to dinner on a "double date" (although she paid for her own food), and she has hung out in my dorm as we listened to music together.

However, I have not made an aggressive move to kiss her.

I drove her to the airport with a friend and she told me we have to hang out when she gets back. All was well...

However, it is the end of thanksgiving break and she did not break up with her highschool boyfriend as I had thought she would.

I am unsure what to do at this point. Do I pick up where we left off? Has she reaffirmed to be with him over me? I understand breakups are difficult and nobody wants to go through with that process, but what do I do?

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I must warn you. Look at her character. Has one boyfriend and keeps him while she courts another.

If she breaks up with him to be with you then she had a boyfriend who she broke up to be with another.

Be forewarned that you may someday find yourself on the other side of the fence as the guy she isn't happy with and who she is about to break up with. I hate to say it but you run that risk. It doesn't seem to me that you guys have enough depth to say it is serendipity. I'm not trying to down you but I'm attempting to show you that you must look at reality from all view points. Remain guarded. She hasn't left him yet and hasn't implicitly or explicitly made a move on you. If you must have her then be assertive. Tell her you have feelings for her and ask her what her feelings are. If she reciprocates tell her to leave the other guy with some compassion and to get back with you in a couple of weeks. Good luck.