Ok, I get that I'm in a rut and have only had 2 major relationships in my 44 years. I've been hurt badly by the last one. My questions are 1. how do you move forward and 2. ewhere do you meet new men? I really don't have girlfriends - my 2 exes were pretty controlling and now I realize that they kept me to themselves until they were done with me.

Don't look for new men, look for a new you. Enjoy yourself. Take a class, get out and experience the world. Then you will end up meeting someone. If you go looking for it, you will only end up in the same trap. Take care of you and love will find you. The fact that your two major relationships were with controlling men also says something about you. Not trying to be mean but you ended up with controlling men which probably means you need to feel better about yourself before looking again. Learn to really love yourself!

Pliskin is right. Just go out and do things you like. It'll happen naturally as long as you don't stay home.

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Originally Posted by lorab915

Ok, I get that I'm in a rut and have only had 2 major relationships in my 44 years. I've been hurt badly by the last one. My questions are 1. how do you move forward and 2. ewhere do you meet new men? I really don't have girlfriends - my 2 exes were pretty controlling and now I realize that they kept me to themselves until they were done with me.

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I am in the same boat. I had some many friends.. I am sure they are still there but they probably feel like any time John leaves, that is when I contact them. For 4 years I stayed home to be with him. Try to call old friends and see if you can get together. Don't close yourself in your home.

I think you've received great advice. I totally agree with not looking for a man but just being active and enjoying activities solo and the right one will come along. Keep an eye on your local newspaper or local websites that list activities in your area and start attending the activities you might enjoy. It's sort of awkward at first but it becomes more comfortable but the important thing is to live a life, your life. Don't just shut down and vegitate... it's not healthy for the soul. If you don't have outside interests then develop some but stay active.
The trick is to be whole and happy while alone, then when you do meet someone they are attacted to you because you are a whole person.
Good luck on your quest. Hope you find your match.

Celebrate your new freedom, by doing the things that make you happy, without a guy to control you. Love yourself.