Ask Me Help Desk - Abandonment

Abandonment

Hello:

Can someone tell me the advantages and benefits of having a parent declared to have abandoned his children?

excon

You ask a question I've asked to several people who have posted questions asking if such and such means the parent abandoned their children.

The answer as far as I know, is there are practically NO advantages. It essentially meaningless. The real issue is Termination of Rights. Only if a parent is seeking TPR against the other parent does abandonment come into play as a justification. And even then its an iffy deal.

As I've posted in a sticky note, TPR is very rarely granted. Generally its only to clear the way for adoption of the child or if the parent being terminated presents a danger to the child. So there is NO value in trying to prove abandonment UNLESS you are seeking adoption.

Even then it might be easier just to get the parents agreement. Since allowing the adoption removes them from the child's life, then I its likely they will sign. If the whereabouts of the parent are unknown, then there are procedures to post notices requesting contact. If the parent still doesn't come forward then a judge will probably grant TPR to allow the adoption.

So anyone asking about this, abandonment is not the issue. By itself it accomplishes NOTHING.

Define "abandonment."

When I was looking into terminating my daughters bio fathers rights I was going to file abandonment charges to help in the case.

In Ohio, the grounds for abandonment are no contact with the child (not prevented by the other parent) and no child support payments for a period of at least 6 months.
In this way, the father has "abandoned" the child by not showing parental interest and financial support.

Filing abandonment does absolutely NOTHING unless it is to build a case for terminating rights. Then it could be presented as evidence that it is in the best interest of the child to terminate the bio fathers rights and allow the husband to adopt.

I think it is a matter of "hate" they still hate their ex and want to hurt them in any way they can. The use of children are normally the way too many parents do it.

If the other parent is not visiting, not calling, not having anything to do with the child, then why should they care what happens , short of gettng or using this threat as a means to get child support.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I think it is a matter of "hate" they still hate thier ex and want to hurt them in any way they can. The use of children are normally the way too many parents do it.

This is not always the case.

For example, my sister has a daughter who is 16. For 15 years they have been trying to find the father. He has disappeared from what seems like the face of the earth, and the rest of his family cannot be found either. We believe they went back to their native country. For 15 years he has not paid support, nor has he tried contacting my sister or his daughter, and my sister has tried for 15 years to find them so that my niece knows who her father is. My sister does not care about the support, she has done quite well for herself. She just wants Sam to know where she came from. However, he has essentially abandoned her.

My sister is now married (1 year) and her husband wants to adopt my niece. This is going to be a piece of cake and the forms are waiting at the courthouse until the first of the year, as she has been abandoned by her natural father.

So, it's not always about hate. There are circumstances where abandonment is real and the parents are not using this as a way to punish the other parent.

There are still honest people out there who actually can claim abandonment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

There are circumstances where abandonment is real and the parents are not using this as a way to punish the other parent.

There are still honest people out there who actually can claim abandonment.

True, but again abandonment is only a means to an end. The end is Termination of Parental Rights. Abandonment is only one means of getting there. If the courts are not going to grant the TPR, which they are unlikely to do unless its to clear the way for adoption, then it doesn't matter what the grounds are.

This is where I get confused, and I usually back out of posts at this point. Under my sister's circumstance, 15 years of no contact and no support, she is not being required to go to court for TPR. She is in NJ by the way, and the papers for adoption are sitting on some desk in some courtroom until the first of the year.

So, while it may be rare, it appears that it can happen.

J_9
She is applying for adoption. Before the court will approve the adoption they have to termiante the father's rights. This will be all part of the adoption proceeding. The reason for not getting the father's approval of the TPR is abandonment. It's that simple. It may not be spelled out exactly that way, but that's what is happening.